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Dear Sugar
My 19 year old daughter recently split up with her boyfriend (Chris) of two years. It was more or less his decision but she agreed. The problem is my 21 year old step-son. During the last six months of my daughters relationship my step-son and Chris became friends. My daughter has told me while she does not mind if they remain friends (my step-son has only two friends) she has a problem with Chris visiting in our house and I agree. But my step-son has an attitude about it and quite frankly I don't think he should be involving himself in their business. Lately he has taken Chris' side and not his step-sister's which I am resentful of. My daughter lives away at college but is close by and visits 2-3 times a week. My step-son still lives at home. I welcome all opinions, thoughts and advice. Miffed Mama

Dear Miffed Mama
Oooh tricky -- but solvable. This is a respect issue. Your step-son can still have Chris over, but not when your daughter is coming home for a visit. To make this situation work mutually, your daughter could call home before popping in. Make a rule that when she's coming, Chris can't be around. You are not asking him to cut off his friendship, but just to meet you half way. Break ups in general suck, so having Chris around is only going to complicate household harmony.

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