I quit my job 14 months ago to indulge in my art. I used to be extremely good at it and everyone told me I'd regret it if I kept spending 10 hours a day at an office (plus overall 5 hours a day in traffic) and I'd regret neglecting my art. I remember coming home at 9, having a quick dinner and going to bed, only to wake up at 5 and start everything all over again. I used to live as a machine and I felt horrible and truly depressed by the soul sucking job.
So, I quit and let myself have a resting week, then the week turned into a month and I was like, "Oh, I am an artist I should have 'me' time and wait until the inspiration hits." Unfortunately, the inspiration never came and now, after 14 months of doing absolutely NOTHING, I feel even more awful. I have even stopped doing what I used to enjoy, like working out, reading, swimming, and going out with friends. I am about to hit rock bottom and I am only 25. The saddest thing is I have no willpower to change anything. I wasn't like this, I used to be very active and productive. Now I am this couch potato who is checking Facebook 24/7 and surfing the dumbest stuff on the internet. I became like this little by little and I am feeling horrible right now — I don't know how to change at all. I have put on 11 pounds since quitting my job, I used to do yoga, pilates, and weight training. I used to read A LOT, and now I find myself hardly reading something that is actually fun!
I really need help, I need to change back to what I used to be, but everyday I wake up, I decide it's a new day and then I go back to being a lazy good for nothing. I honestly can't go back to work, the depression of quitting my dreams will kill me. The only hope that I have is that I'd find a way to start doing what I love again. Going back to work means failing in what I love, failing again, and always being a loser.