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Feuding With My Cousin

Group Therapy: My Family Won't Stop Harassing Me

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community.

My cousin and I had a big falling out about a month and a half ago due to her lying, stealing, cheating, and manipulating. I ended up telling her not to contact me until she can admit she robbed me (yes she robbed me) and she's had at least six months of therapy. I don't have solid proof of the robbery (stolen out of my car and, of course, her prints are all over it), but she also stole my debit card pin number and texted it to a mutual friend, who told me in time for me to cancel my card. This friend has the text still but neither of us wants to get the cops involved; but if we did, cousin is already on probation for felony credit card theft so she'd go away for a long time.

My cousin has been harassing me, demanding that I meet her to return a pair of $10 Walmart leggings that she left in my car six months ago. She also claims to be pregnant which I'm sure is a lie. I'm afraid she's trying to set me up and I've been ignoring her, but she shows no signs of stopping. I blocked her on Facebook, but she still calls and texts me almost daily. I loaned her my favorite gold and green bikini and never got it back. I was thinking of going to the police station and showing them the texts and saying that I'll trade the pants for the bikini at the station, and that I don't want to press phone harassment charges but I want her to leave me alone.

Should I give it more time? My side of the family isn't close to her side and all of our mutual friends have cut ties with her for the same reason I did, so going through someone isn't an option. And I know someone is going to say "kiss that gold and green bikini goodbye," but I look sexy as hell in it and I don't swim in chlorine so I've had it for years and it's not faded and I really miss it.

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Join The Conversation
desote1 desote1 5 years
I agree with Jen
vizslalvr vizslalvr 5 years
Cut your losses with the bikini. Block her number and texts through your phone service provider. She can spazz all she wants about her jeggings - I would mail them to her or drop them in the mailbox just to save myself the headache. I think reporting her to the cops is a mistake - prison doesn't generally help people get their lives on track, nor does having multiple and thus unexpungeable felonies on their record. You've given her an ultimatum, so stick to it. If she stays with therapy and apologizes, speak to her again. Until then, don't.
testadura67 testadura67 5 years
Sometimes you do a greater disservice to someone by not making them accountable for their mistakes. Seeing as this is a repeat offense, it sounds like she needs some serious help which may only be given to her by a stay in prison, and the treatments provided there (therapy, medications, etc.). Forget about the bikini. It's a piece of cloth. This is your family, no matter how close whose side is to whose. If you're done with her, block her number and move on. But consider the fact that reporting her to the police may help her in the long run.
GTCB GTCB 5 years
I'm with jenjen82 - sometime people need harsh lessons and criminal records will either straighten people out and/or make you feel better. Sorry about the bikini... I'm all for people desiring to look sexy as hell in minimal clothing, but it's gone.
jenjen82 jenjen82 5 years
Tell the crazy bitch to bring you your shit or you will report her to the police for credit card theft. If she has a felony then she will bring you your bikini. Otherwise if this drama becomes too much block her number and say goodbye to the bikini. It becomes immature to a point on your end to keep this drama going on over a freakin bikini. So I guess it's either play tough, or get over it.
Raynne413 Raynne413 5 years
You can always talk to your phone company about blocking incoming calls and texts from her number. They are generally able to do that.
passion8 passion8 5 years
maybe try responding to her that you will meet with her at her therapists office and have a meeting with her, you and therapist with the articles of clothing that both of you have and during this swap maybe her therapist can observe her real behavior to better help her and maybe the therapist can be the mediator between the two of you to start to open a safe line of communication.
henna-red henna-red 5 years
I think loaning her the bikini was a mistake and I would bet you're not going to see it again. You could try the swap at a neutral place, try talking to police to see if there is help there, but I wouldn't count on it. She is going to try to stay in your life in whatever manner she can, and negative sounds like what she is capable of. You may have to change numbers if you really want her to stop calling, texting, and if she still refuses to stop, then you may have get a restraining order, and you may have to follow up. She abviously has some serious problems, and how much you want to be involved is up to you. With personalities like this, you can pretty much count on losing something that is yours. If you don't want to lose anything more, then she needs to be gone from your life, and that may mean sacrificing the bikini. Sounds as though she needs help, needs counseling, and is reaching out to you to keep in contact within the family, but she doesn't have a healthy way to do that. Also sounds to me as though jail time is a matter of when, not if. i wish you luck with this situation. Always so much more difficult when it's someone in your family. If she is a serious predator, then just get her out of your life asap. Blessed be.
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