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Five Rules For Meeting His Parents

The holidays are fast approaching, so if you're meeting your boyfriend's parents for the first time, you might want to check out the five helpful tips that Glamour magazine is sharing with us in their November issue. As we all know, meeting the parents is a huge rite of passage, one that is never taken lightly, so check out my take on their five suggestions below and a few of my own, too.

  • Be present. If you're overly consumed with a pimple on your face or worrying that you're not saying the right thing, you could in turn come off aloof. Make sure his parents know you're interested in the conversation and in the moment.
  • Don't overspend to impress. Sending a thank you note, flowers, or bringing a small gift as a thank you for hosting you is always a nice gesture, but don't go overboard — you don't want to seem like you're trying too hard.
  • Volley the hard questions to him. If his parents put you on the spot to the point of uncomfortableness, turn to your boyfriend and cue him to take over. He'll know how to pull back the reins.
    • To see two more of Glamour's tips and to check out my additions, just


      • Drink in moderation (the night before, too!). Being hung over isn't cute, so make sure you're bright-eyed and bushy-tailed when meeting his parents for the first time. No one likes a drunk and chances are his parents will notice how much you drink, so know your limits and act like a lady.
      • Treat them like friends, not fogies. You don't want to age his parents by sparking up dull conversation about the weather. They are people in addition to being your boyfriend's parents so engage them like you'd want to be engaged!

      In addition, here's what I suggest!

    • Have your boyfriend debrief you pre-visit. If you go in knowing what they are interested in, you'll be able to have an edge by knowing exactly what to say!
    • Be yourself. There's a reason your boyfriend wants to show you off to his parents so relax, take a deep breath, and let them get to know you.
    • Don't be too affectionate with your boyfriend. A little PDA goes a long way, especially in front of adults. Even if you're usually a very touchy-feely couple, tone it down a notch; you don't want to make them feel uncomfortable or come off as needy.

    If you've already been through this, do you have any tips to add? If so, please share them in the comments below.


Join The Conversation
Autumns_Elegy Autumns_Elegy 8 years
I was nervous as hell! Though I think the first meeting went well enough and since then I think our relationship has gone from "the parents" to "almost friends" which I see as a very good thing. His mom and I can natter for hours though! My baby gets a little jealous when that happens. :p
ilanac13 ilanac13 8 years
meeting his parents is always a hard thing - and i faced that one a couple years ago. i think that you have to remember that they are also probably as nervous as you are to meet, so you don't have to try hard to impress them. for me, i was just worried because we come from SUCH DIFFERENT places, and religious backgrounds, and i didn't know if that would but a crimp in things, but to be honest, i just talk to them like they are my parents, and we've gotten along just fine over the years.
ikimashokie ikimashokie 8 years
I always bake something to take with me. Nothing extravagant, just a little loaf of bread or something. Now what's funny is that I get to meet his grandmother who thinks it's just plain wrong that he is dating "one of them", and apparently had words with his mom about how he was "living in sin". I'm still going to bake something.
baybelle baybelle 8 years
My husband invited me to dinner at his house to meet his parents for the first time. I had to come in straight from work and the whole house was being renovated so we had dinner in one of the bedrooms!! I was nervous, but I realized he's pushed them into it too and they were ultra embarassed about the condition of the house!! Today his mom is one of my best friends and biggest supporters. His dad doesn't say much and never has, but loves to discuss the economy with me - he says only his daughters in law know how to converse like intelligent people. Lol!
sparklestar sparklestar 8 years
I met my guys parents about 2 weeks into the relationship and they invited me to go out to France with them all over the summer during the same meeting. ;p So I think it went OK? I guess all of these points stand but really if you can't behave properly in public when doing this kind of thing then you've got no hope anyway. ;p
beautiful-disaster beautiful-disaster 8 years
i havent met my guys parents yet... he hardly ever sees them, but he wants to wait.. we've been going out for a while, but have only been "official" for 2 months... i can give him some more time over it, but i worry theres something about me that he thinks they wont like...
Jesi_Oh Jesi_Oh 8 years
OMG chicobo, I had the exact same thing happen! His (divorced) parents are from Germany but both speak fluent English. His Mum and I adore each other but it's really hard to bond with his Dad when he insists on talking to everyone in German (most of his friends are German too). It's makes me feel completely invisible - I'm even learning German but apparently it's just not good enough to rate a converstation :-( (Good thing my SO is wonderful enough to make up for it!) :-)
JanetG0307 JanetG0307 8 years
i just did this last week. my advice: don't go to the bathroom and have your significant other think its a good idea to follow (i swear, i just had to go to the bathroom!). it's not a good idea, because you'll end up making out and the mom will find out. ooooops.
chicobo chicobo 8 years
The first time I met my ex's boyfriends parents; they spoke in another language THE ENTIRE TIME. My ex had to keep translating but it was so awkward. So uh. Hopefully your bf's parents will be speaking the same language.
princess_eab princess_eab 8 years
Ha ha, I met my new boyfriend's parents and oldest sister well before we started dating. Afterwards, his mom called him and told him that he should date me and not bother with the girl he was then casually dating! I think it's safe to say we get along. In fact, his wonderful family is one of the reasons I'm so happy to be with him - it's great to date someone from a genuinely happy family.
ThePerfectScore ThePerfectScore 8 years
I've been banned from meeting my "guys" parents... so we had to end it. It had been over a year and 1/2 and it's still a HUGE STEP for him. He's insecurity is not working.
psterling psterling 8 years
I'm so lucky, my in-laws are amazing!! His mother and I hit it off right away and his father is just the sweetest guy. I thank my lucky stars every day that we all get along so great, it makes everything so much fun and so much easier.
Mesayme Mesayme 8 years
I've never thought of a parent introduction like a job interview...hmm, learn something new everyday.
winkyface winkyface 8 years
I just met my boyfriend's parents for the first time last Saturday. I was super nervous because he's the first guy I've been in love with whose parents I was about to meet. First, talk to you guy about having a quiet place to meet- he'd wanted to meet at a crowded bar, which wasn't conducive to a good intro conversation. So we ended up having dinner- at a really loud restaurant! It's hard to get to know someone when you're shouting across the table. But his parents ended up being super cool and I even got hugs afterwards. Just make sure to elaborate on simple answers such as "Where did you grow up?" It keeps the conversation interesting. Let your personality come through, cuz chances are if your guy loves you, his parents will, too! Also, don't go out and buy a whole new outfit; wear something you're comfortable in so you're not fidgeting and looking self-conscious. I'd bought a new blouse I wanted to wear, but after trying it on at my house I realized I was nervously adjusting it every 10 seconds, so I changed into a comfy sweater.
designerel designerel 8 years
I was more nervous about meeting his brother (who served as a father figure to him over the years) than his mom. Thankfully they seem to like me.
Mesayme Mesayme 8 years
I always feel anxiety... I'm thinking, what if I don't like them? I rarely seek acceptance from parents...I'm me, this is it. It's going to get better not worst and not on your behalf. So, if I don't like his's now a decision of whether I can be with him or not.
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