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Flirting at the Gym

Group Therapy: How Should I Start Conversation at the Gym?

This question is an excerpt from Group Therapy in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I've been scoping out a cute guy at the gym and exchanging glances for about a month, and I want to make a bold move before the moment passes. Chitchat at our gym is rare and, though we go at the same time each day, we've never had the opportunity to strike up a conversation. He is a focused runner and gets in a serious sweat zone, but he has checked me out enough for me to know he thinks I'm attractive (usually when I'm walking in and he's walking out).

One Saturday I mistakenly cut him off as we left the parking lot and he grinned and let me over. Since then, I try and smile whenever I get a chance without seeming like a total creep and it appears he is doing the same. So, my dilemma is this: Should I leave a note on his car that says something like "I'd write you a "Missed Connection," but Internet dating freaks me out. We should hang out sometime when we actually talk and are not running on treadmills." (Wording thanks to my BFF.) Or, should I just sit tight and keep trying to strike up a conversation. Or at least a "hi" first. I'm shy, but confident and willing to make a fool of myself. That said, is a note too presumptuous at this point?

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it, anonymously, to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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Sundown321 Sundown321 7 years
Any update on what happened???
kimmieb124 kimmieb124 7 years
I don't necessarily think the note is creepy, but I do think that others have mentioned valid reasons for not doing the note. I also think the note is a cop out. If you are going to be bold enough to make the first move, I definitely think it should be face to face. Say hi and give him an opening to decide if he wants to take things further.
ckeller825 ckeller825 7 years
I really like Anonymous #10's idea. Almost exactly what I was going to advise.
FireFly44 FireFly44 7 years
I do think you should try to just say hi at some point...that will open the door for him to strike up conversation. But I dont think the note is creepy. I had a guy friend start a pretty long relationship that way and they were not in JR or HS...they were late 20's. She left a note on his car after they kept passing each other in the hall and smiling (grad school), he called her, they met up and ended up dating for quite a while. I think a guy would find it spontaneous and cute, not creepy.
chillchic chillchic 7 years
Don't take your friend's advice. That note was terrible. Quite funny, but terrible. Next time you see him just smile and say "hey. how are you?" I mean, if you see him so often, you aren't complete strangers. If he's interested, a simple greeting should be enough to get him to engaged in a convo with you.
postmodernsleaze postmodernsleaze 7 years
I think the note is a little too junior high. The next time you're walking in and he's walking out, just say to him, "Why, we've been going to the same gym for so long, and I don't even have your phone number..." Or whatever haha. Good luck ;)
onlysourcherry onlysourcherry 7 years
I would give him a little wave and smile next time you see him checking you out. That should give him the green light to come talk to you. If he doesn't, then you can try striking up a conversation.
chloe-bella chloe-bella 7 years
Leaving a note would be weird and creepy. I agree with the others - talk to him first.
Gdeeaz Gdeeaz 7 years
I would talk to the guy. If someone left me a note I would be a little creeped out. Also you run the risk of him not knowing its from you.
soulsearcher83 soulsearcher83 7 years
Forget the note. That's wierd. Just talk to the guy.
kurniakasih kurniakasih 7 years
Yeah, I'd suggest you to strike up a convo first with the guy. Say 'hi' and if you're being so bold, give him your number if you're not that bold, just mention how you've seen him around, and you like how focused he is at his running, ask him if he's training for a marathon or something like that. Have fun and good luck.
Bettye-Wayne Bettye-Wayne 7 years
Note is super creepy. When you see him walking out as you're walking in, stop and say something like, "I notice you around here and I'd like to give you my phone number." Make sure you have a pen and paper on you, just in case he doesn't have his phone with him.
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