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Flirting on Public Transportation

Group Therapy: How Do I Chat Up My Commute Crush?

This question comes from Group Therapy in our TrèsSugar Community. Feel free to add your advice in the comments!

I've developed a little crush on a sweet-looking guy who rides the bus to work the exact same time as me every day. We've met eyes a few times and I've felt him notice me, but we haven't spoken yet (it's just been a few weeks). Based on his early-morning bus behavior — reading The New Yorker, The Nation, and playing on his iPhone — and the fact that I find him nerdy cute, I want to chat him up, but don't know how to get the wheels turning when we are, well, on the bus. For the most part everyone sits in silence in the morning, save the few really rude people who talk on their cell phones.

A few days ago I got on the bus to go home and he was there with an open seat. I was going to make the big move, plop down beside and and start stranger chat, but it turns out one of my new co-workers was sitting directly behind him with an empty seat (small world, right?!), and I felt epically rude not sitting with him. So, I passed up my crush and sat with co-worker. I was fully aware my crush was eavesdropping so I tried to sneak in the fact that I am single and sound moderately intelligent, but who knows what he paid attention to. My question for y'all is this: Is the bus just a creepy place to make a date? And if not, what's a good conversation starter? As silly as it sounds, I'm used to guys making the first move and the ability to move around and work the room a little, but when you're locked in a seat, there's no where to go.


Have a dilemma of your own? Post it, anonymously, to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

Source: Flickr User Michael Sacharewicz

Join The Conversation
Tabloid Tabloid 7 years
OMG! I keep on bumping really cute guys in the bus! But I'm not the type of girl who would make the first move. Although, I do a lot of eye contact to them. heh! ;D Hahahah! I love the idea of dropping something on him. There's a lot of good ideas you ladies have given. I would really appreciate an update about this story!
redchick152 redchick152 7 years
aww this makes me want a new crush!! in college i had a huge crush on a guy that sat in the back. we'd met eyes a few times but that was it. FINALLY, i ran into him at a house party and we just flirted up a storm. i remember comparing tatoos....nothing serious came out of it, but it was definitely a fun couple months! try commenting on something he is reading, its an easy convo starter...but go for it girl and let us know how it went!
sabrinaland sabrinaland 7 years
I was in the exact same situation as you when I was in college. I had been wanting to speak to this guy for ages, then one day the last seat available was the one beside him. I sat down and asked him what music he was listening to on his headphones. Turns out he was listening to a very obscure band that I knew everything about! We wound up dating for two years :)
Angelica Angelica 7 years
This is all great advice! I like the plan to take note of his reading and strike up a conversation about that, or just be your silly self.
xgreenfairyx xgreenfairyx 7 years
Man...howcome I can't get cute people talking to me? Do it.
bluebellknoll bluebellknoll 7 years
My friends met on a bus and now they're married. Go for it!
mix-tape mix-tape 7 years
Yeah this does sound like a love story. Please let us know what happens next! If you say he reads certain things try picking them up and reading the articles beforehand. When you see him reading it start discussing something you found interesting and maybe a conversation will flow. Introduce yourself and mention how you've seen him on the bus a few times. Mention your job, why you ride the bus... ya know, just the basics and eventually a conversation will get going. Good luck!
Rwandawithlove Rwandawithlove 7 years
living in new york I once had a guy approach me on the subway and I was immensely flattered. If you have an Iphone maybe you can bitch about something about the Iphone. Or as corny as this sounds drop something infront of him or on his lap so that he can help you out. Laugh about being a Klutz and keep the conversation going. Regardless of how you do it trust me he will be flattered because for anybody knowing that you look good enough to be approached on a bus full of people is the highest compliment. Oh BTW if you guys do work out please let us know, you sound like a love story waiting to happen
postmodernsleaze postmodernsleaze 7 years
GO FOR IT!!! I love random meetings like this. If you guys have been sitting on the same bus for so long, just boldy go up to him and say you think it's about time you introduced yourself.
Beauty Beauty 7 years
Smile, say hello, ask what he's reading. Easy!
marcied23 marcied23 7 years
yes! you totally have to go for it! and then come back with an update b/c for some reason I am interested to see what happens here (in other words very nosy). good luck!
KadBunny KadBunny 7 years
Dude that is the cutest thing I have ever heard. And I think I have a crush on him too. :P Oh man I would love to watch this unfold. Eeeee! Yes, just go for it! Don't over think it! And I agree with Joe; try to keep it short! (unless of course, the conversation just flows naturally). Good luck!!
inlove23 inlove23 7 years
Go get 'em tiger!
skigurl skigurl 7 years
i don't think it's creepy at all...i know a couple who met on the bus and dated for years if it were me, because of my personality and the kind of guy i like, i'd sit next to him then make a sarcastic remark about something going on on the bus...i like a guy who can make wry observations and is able to laugh at stuff as opposed to take himself too seriously the only potential issue is if he's attached, but you'll never know if you don't try!
chloe-bella chloe-bella 7 years
Go for it! I agree with Joe's advice.
Venus1 Venus1 7 years
Go for it!
JoeTyndall JoeTyndall 7 years
Go ahead and strike up a conversation. A good conversation starter? There has to be a reason for you to start talking to him (otherwise it looks too fake). Is there anything about him, those periodicals, etc., that you could bring up as a conversation starter? And, when you get that first conversation started, expect it to last only a minute or two, and then be willing to sit there in silence -- don't force it to go on and on.
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