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The Flirting Seems Real, But He's Gay

The Flirting Seems Real, But He's Gay

Dear Sugar
I have a huge crush on my regional sales manager at work. I know it's bad, we work together but he's so sweet that he makes me instantly smile whenever I see him! He does cute little things all of the time like hold my hand and call me endearing names such as: princess or cutie pie.

He's adorable, sweet and funny and he winks at me all day long which always puts a smile on my face. I walked over to his cube the other night to say goodbye and there he was with his ... boyfriend. AHH!

I was totally shocked to discover that he is gay. Shocked is putting it mildly. I actually feel pretty devastated. My feelings have developed into something real and now that I can't have him, I want him more than ever! What should I do? Shattered Shawna

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Shattered Shawna
That's a bummer, but there's nothing that you should do or can do about it! He's flirting with you fairy style. Since he's gay, he's not going to ever be able to reciprocate your feelings so just enjoy this company and try your best to view him as your fun friend from now on.

Go with it if it makes you smile. You are lucky to have a little burst of sunshine at work throughout the day. You can not make a move on him; he's got a boyfriend, so don't even think about it. Not only will the boyfriend get angry if he finds out (wouldn't you) but it might ruin what you guys have together now. Try and move on ... and even better, try not to find a work crush, those are always complicated.

Join The Conversation
Daisy6264 Daisy6264 10 years
Ima, I totally agree with you.
lilxmissxmolly lilxmissxmolly 10 years
Gay guys often call girls names like "cutie", just like you might call your best friend "cutie". But gay guys are fun to hang out with, and flirting with them and having them "flirt" back is a great way to lift your spirits.
BeachBarbie BeachBarbie 10 years
I'm in agreement with Ima; I had a blast with my gay guy friends! I live in another state now, but I sure miss them! :) But, if you can't get passed your feelings you need to stick with DearSugar's advice.
Imabeliever Imabeliever 10 years
A girl's best friend is a gay man. Enjoy it.. reveal in it. They will do all the fun things the boyfriend usually won't .. like check out folk music at the local coffee shop or go to the latest art gallery opening or picnic at an outdoor theater doing something from shakespere or go to Foley musical.. or go shopping, lunching and talk shit about what girls are wearing and celebs. They are funny, dress well, usually have interesting jobs and are great looking. And they usually have a way of making you feel fabulous and sexy but in a completely safe and comfy way. Go dancing with them.. even check out a gay bar ala Sex in the City with him. I did that a few times and it was soo much fun to dance at. I was so proud of myself for dancing with a woman who asked me and it turned out that it was a man in drag. Ah well... OMG I miss my gay guy friend every day..he moved to another state that bitch! LOL! "Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't!"
lizzielou742 lizzielou742 10 years
I say keep right on flirting. It sounds like fun. Just because he's dating a man, doesn't mean you "can't have him" and it's no cause for devastation. Maybe he's bisexual. Keep an open mind!
ishtar ishtar 10 years
there really is nothing you can do, he's gay and that's that. maybe hes bi?? But I guess you will never know that unless he breaks up with the guy and asks you out or something.
nicachica nicachica 10 years
i loooove flirting with gay guys! it's so non-threatening and you can have lots of fun with it cuz you know it's not going to develop into anything serious. i know it sucks right now (trust me, i've been there!) but i'm sure you can overcome it and have a good work/flirt relationship with him. :)
WhatTheFrockBlog WhatTheFrockBlog 10 years
Man, if it wasn't for the whole "regional sales manager" thing, I'd think my high school self time-traveled to the present to write to DearSugar. Seriously, every guy I had any interest in back in high school ended up being gay. I ended up being okay with it. I'd rather have some guy I was crushing on being into a guy than being into some girl who wasn't me!
hazel_eyes_smile hazel_eyes_smile 10 years
*lol* If it's not you, I'd be jealous anyway! Nothing like flirting to lift your spirits.
Masqueraded_Angel Masqueraded_Angel 10 years
Just for the record, this is not mine! @_@ Even though my real name IS Shawna...
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