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Forgetting What Date Looks Like

Group Therapy: I Can't Remember What He Looks Like

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

Let me start by saying I've always been horrible with faces.  I usually have to meet someone a few times before I can picture them in my memory.  Now onto my current situation: I was out last week and met a guy at a bar.  We chatted for a while, hit it off, and exchanged numbers.  We've been texting and made plans for this weekend.  The problem:  I can't remember what he looks like.  No idea.  

I remember his first name, what we talked about, even his wingman's name.  My usual bad memory was assisted by a few beers, and now I couldn't pick the guy out of a lineup.


I don't really want to cancel the date, but I don't know what else to do.  He wants to meet up and there's no way I'm going to be able to find him.  I have a bit of social anxiety and I don't think I could handle trying to figure out who he is on top of normal first date jitters.  Should I just cut my losses on this one?

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it, anonymously, to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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Join The Conversation
dikke-kus dikke-kus 6 years
Tell him to pick you up at your place. If he wants to see you whats wrong with that? Then he can do the work by driving you around. Who wants to drive alone somewhere in the dark to meet someone at a bar or restaurant? Then drive home alone late at night with a couple drinks in you? That kind of thing sounds like a stupid hookup or something anyway.
brindey brindey 6 years
Facebook. Or twitter or linkedin- whatever social network you use. Just ask him to add you to whichever one you want- problem solved. Or stalk him on one of those networks using his email and you will find him.
RoaringSilence RoaringSilence 6 years
Oh god how embarrassing! I've been in that situation before! I say either go somewhere and read a book so he'll have to address you, or get his phone number and then hang out somewhere, purposely NOT looking around, and then call him and check if anyone around you is answering their phone. Then go "Oh duh how did I miss you haha" etc.
stephley stephley 6 years
Tell him to carry a red flower, or wear clown shoes.
bluebellknoll bluebellknoll 6 years
Or you tell him what you'll be wearing and have him look for you. :)
genesisrocks genesisrocks 6 years
You might have prosopagnosia- wish I could tell you more about it, but it's not my area of expertise. Anyway, ask him what he'll be wearing and that might help you out somewhat
Gdeeaz Gdeeaz 6 years
Ask him his last name or email address and then look him up on facebook.
snarkypants snarkypants 6 years
wow, that sentence was horribly written. oops. :OOPS:
snarkypants snarkypants 6 years
well, she wouldn't be able to add him to facebook, as she doesn't know his name...but, sometimes you can search somebody on facebook by their phone number. you could always try that.
atraditionalist atraditionalist 6 years
add him to facebook
postmodernsleaze postmodernsleaze 6 years
Go for it! Arrive there early so that he sees you. And I'm sure when you see him, your memory will come back to you. Don't worry too much. Just get there early and let him come to you :)
snarkypants snarkypants 6 years
hahaha that's what happened when i had my first date with my current boyfriend. GO FOR IT! when i met him, he was dressed in costume so i wasn't exactly sure what he looked like, and i didn't know his name! i tried to get to the date early so he would have to find me, but i got stuck in traffic. so i just told him where we should meet, and that went well. turns out, he never told me his name, so he reintroduced himself about a half hour into the date. he wanted to make me sweat it out first though. i did have a backup plan, had he not told me. two of my friends were going to "run into me" at the bar, and i'd have them introduce themselves. good luck, and like silly btch said, makes for a great first date story!
BiWife BiWife 6 years
Easy peasey! Ask him to text you a picture that you can setup as his callerid on your cellphone. You've covered your tracks & he's none the wiser. I'm horrible with names & faces too, so I've been living off this trick for years (especially when I still drank)
Alex1988 Alex1988 6 years
You gave him your number, so clearly you were attracted to him, so nothing to worry about there. Maybe you could facebook him? Also like the others said, show up early and try not to make eye contact with anyone, so you know that it is him when he comes up to you.
Silly-Btch-Therapy Silly-Btch-Therapy 6 years
Just because you can't picture his face now doesn't mean you won't recognize him as soon as you see him! Definitely don't just "cut your losses"! Go go go!! What's the worst that can happen? Choose a very specific place to meet (eg. under the BodyShop Awning, beside the sandwich board) and either show up very early, or 10 minutes late to make sure he's there. You'll be fine, and who knows? In 5 years it will just be a funny first date story! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Check out my blog at!
Venus1 Venus1 6 years
Certainly don't cut your losses, go for it. Arrange to meet somewhere safe but fairly quiet so you see him when he comes along. Have fun! x
Rjs-baby-girl Rjs-baby-girl 6 years
Just schedule to meet in a public place for the date and arrive really really early, so he is there later than you and has to look for you.
JoeTyndall JoeTyndall 6 years
Tell him to email you a picture of himself, so you can make sure you talk to the right guy when you see him.
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