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Friends With Benefits

Dear Sugar
I'm single and I haven't had any physical interaction in almost a year. I need some but I'm not interested in getting involved in a relationship. I am looking for a friend with benefits. How do I go about finding one? Is that nasty? Hard-Up Holly

Dear Hard-Up Holly
No that's not nasty, in fact guys do it all of the time. Just be honest with your "new friend" so he knows what your intentions are. This way nobody gets hurt. The last time I checked, paying for "action" is illegal everywhere but in parts of Nevada, so here are a couple of ideas on how to "score" by the books:

  • Sign onto 1 or more online dating services such as:, Great Expectations or J Date (if you're Jewish). There is usually an objective on your profile where you can describe what you are looking for in a date. If you really just want to cut to the chase, go to Adult Friend to match up with someone else in your area who's after the same thing. Just beware before you enter, that this is a strictly swingers and sex website.
  • Chat rooms are a good place to test the waters too. You can hide behind your computer and practice what to say before you actually go and meet someone face to face.
  • Another idea is to either answer or take out a personal add in your local newspaper.
  • Got any friends in the same situation? Perhaps you know a divorcee or recent break-up through friends? They may be feeling the exact same way (horny but not ready for any kind of emotional involvement).
  • There is nothing to be ashamed of for having a healthy sexual appetite - just be safe and smart about approaching someone soley for sex. You can always make yourself a one woman goodie drawer if you get cold feet.

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