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Gay Couples Have Something to Teach Straight Counterparts

Sure to mix up the gay marriage debate, social scientists are turning to same-sex couples to find out what makes a healthy relationship and marriage. One study analyzed how Vermont's married couples address issues like money, household work, and sex, as compared to gay couples joined in civil unions.

Some of the research findings include:

  • Same-sex partners generally share the work evenly. Conversely, in hetero relationships, the woman usually does more housework, while the man holds more financial responsibility.
  • In straight relationships, men are more likely to initiate sex, while women are more likely to refuse sex and initiate "talks" about relationship problems. But, in same-sex couples, there is a balanced sharing of such behaviors.

For some more analysis, and to find out how the groups handle arguments differently,


  • Same-sex couples are less likely to become physically agitated during and after an argument.
  • Same-sex couples experienced more relationship satisfaction, suggesting that the inequality among straight partners impacts happiness.

Same-sex partners are better at relating to their partners, making it easier for them to diffuse conflict, according to experts. But the research also reassures that the differences are not rooted in biological differences between men and women. Thus, findings urge straight couples to see situations from their partners' perspectives.

California's first gay marriages are set for June 17, but that has not stopped opponents from adding a state constitutional gay marriage ban to the November ballot. When academic research purports that homosexual couples have healthier and happier relationships than their straight counterparts, does it undermine critics of gay marriage?


Join The Conversation
Auntie-Coosa Auntie-Coosa 9 years
AFTER the first thousand gay-marriage divorces, post this again. What homosexual couples haven't really thought through is that if they are "married" in the eyes of the law, then they can't just "up and leave" when they find someone they like better. They'll have to go through Divorce Court. And in Commonwealth and Community Property States, divorce takes on a personality of its own. I have one close friend who's had three lesbian partners. The first two "partners" found other women they were more interested in (or loved) and left her with no afterthought. The last, unfortunately, had an accident and died from complications. As I said, repost this article after the Courts have handled the first thousand gay-marriage divorces.
Great-Sommelier Great-Sommelier 9 years
Yes, most the time I am on here I have the gentle sound of my husband sawing logs to keep me company! :zzz:
UnDave35 UnDave35 9 years
:rotfl: That's good GS. I tend to turn into a pumpkin after 9pm. I put my kids to bed, and then collapse.
Great-Sommelier Great-Sommelier 9 years
Oh, UD, I stay up way to late most nights. I start to get delirious at a certain point and THAT is when I decide to post here!
tiff58 tiff58 9 years
Okay, you guys are right- they are HOT!
flutterpie flutterpie 9 years
I KNEW IT!!! we are all meant to be gay!
janneth janneth 9 years
Now go to bed.
Kimpossible Kimpossible 9 years
my goodness that man with the grey shirt is CUTE!!
janneth janneth 9 years
undave did u mean :pucca: ?
UnDave35 UnDave35 9 years
:rotfl: Being up late is great GS!! Go Team Red :pucca
Great-Sommelier Great-Sommelier 9 years
Great-Sommelier Great-Sommelier 9 years
dang it
Great-Sommelier Great-Sommelier 9 years
I love me some straight men....well...cause they love me back! :sneakyevil:
UnDave35 UnDave35 9 years
Hey now, I resemble that remark... :evil:
Mintie Mintie 9 years
The problem with hetero marriages is straight men.
underyourwaves underyourwaves 9 years
This made me happy. :)
terryt18 terryt18 9 years
Yay! More reasons gay is the way. See the light, people.
jennifer76 jennifer76 9 years
They are! :love:
hypnoticmix hypnoticmix 9 years
jennifer76 I know girl they are cute. I should see if they need a pool boy, LOL!
hypnoticmix hypnoticmix 9 years
Well their argument is a religious based argument and I don't think they care who's happier or who can learn from whom. They just think it's wrong and that's that. As for the balance of financial power I find that Gay couples tend to search out partners that are equal in financial stability which would explain that point.
jennifer76 jennifer76 9 years
:rotfl: Hypno! I'd get in that line, too. :howyoudoin:
Jillness Jillness 9 years
hypno, you crack me up!
jennifer76 jennifer76 9 years
My anecdotal experience suggests the same thing as janneth - same sex relationships aren't really all that different from straight relationships. But, the study's conclusions seem logical. I do have to wonder though if the problems in heterosexual relationships aren't caused by inequality so much as power struggles. I would have to think that a relationship where the roles are clearly defined and both partners are happy with their "unbalanced" contributions would be just as healthy as a completely "equal" relationship where the roles are clearly defined and both partners are happy with their "balanced" contributions.
hypnoticmix hypnoticmix 9 years
All I know is if these two want a happy third here I am!
janneth janneth 9 years
Maybe it's just coincidence but the gay and lesbian families I know appear to have the same challenges that hetero fams do, problems with the kids, disagreements, and the same fun and joys too.
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