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Dear Sugar
I just started dating a wonderful guy who is oh-so-cute, has a great sense of humor and calls me frequently. I get along with him so well but . . . he needs some tips in the bedroom - specifically on how to go "downtown."

He's only done it to me once and it lasted less than a minute. It was extremely uncomfortable and in that short time, he even managed to bite me (not in a good way). I don't think he knows what he's doing.

Do you have any suggestions on how to talk to him about this delicate matter? Should I describe moves to him? It's hard enough for me to orgasm, and I think this would really help. Unsatisfied Savannah

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Unsatisfied Savannah
Dirty talk. Communication is the bedrock of sexual satisfaction. Not only will it get his attention, but you'll keep it and you won't have to put any undue pressure on him.

So when you are kissing and heavy petting, tell him all of the things that you like done to you and then guide him down there. Give him direction until it feels good and then be sure and praise him for it (stroke that ego).

We are afraid of offending our lovers. We don't want to judge them just like we wouldn't want them to judge us, but - it's important to talk about your needs so that you can have a satisfying sex life together. Never forget that you are a team.

Don't be bossy while he's in the act, rather describe to him what you'd like him to do with his tongue, his lips, his fingers. . . (get it)? Now's the time to show him how happy he's made you and reciprocate. Leading by example is always the best way to get what you want.

Join The Conversation
highsociety1 highsociety1 10 years
wow, do I have an alternate ID that I don't know about?! Splenda, I was going to post the exact same thing -- show him how you like it on his hand (or the tip of his "manhood"), or demonstrate on another girl.
yayita yayita 10 years
jenn & Ky I couldnt do it LOL!! hahaha I tried rubbing it as if trying to start a fire and he was just cracking up hahaha.
kylake kylake 10 years
Worked for my guy too!
jennifer76 jennifer76 10 years
I was intrigued. :)
yayita yayita 10 years
LOL, you really got a jump on that hehehe way to go!
jennifer76 jennifer76 10 years
Both. Heh heh. I would not marry a man with no skills. But, I was talking about nica's dough roll. I just tried it last night.
yayita yayita 10 years
Jenn your husband is a fan of the dough roll? or of going downtown?
jennifer76 jennifer76 10 years
Thanks, nicachica. My husband is a fan. And he now sees some redeeming value in Popsugar.
yayita yayita 10 years
thats wild nica! that should start a fire in his crotch
nicachica nicachica 10 years
and yes you use both hands. and use your imagination and play with it...go up and down, side to side, that type of thing. ;)
nicachica nicachica 10 years
okay, here's a better analogy: you know how you see people trying to start fires and they twist the stick in their hands vigorously on top of the other sticks/stones? yeah, its like that. but use some sort of lotion or lubricant or it will hurt the poor guy!
yayita yayita 10 years
LOL someone needs to explain the technique hahaha, this is nuts.
JennaV JennaV 10 years
I loved that show, watched that eppy but have never done the rolling dough technique.
kylake kylake 10 years
Sex and the City experts - could someone please explain the rolling dough technique to Sabrinaland?
Splenda Splenda 10 years
Have him make a fist and show him on the side of his thumb and forefinger as foreplay. Open-mouth kiss him the way you like it yonder. My best suggestion is to have him watch you do it to another girl. Not for you? Ok, watch a video. Enjoy!
lickety-split lickety-split 10 years
who has time for that shit. i buy my pastries and like my man ready to go too!
ethiopian_princess ethiopian_princess 10 years
how do you roll dough?
lickety-split lickety-split 10 years
yea ep i'm with you on this i don't really like to be the on the job trainer and the whole convincing him thing SO not doing that.
sabrinaland sabrinaland 10 years
I don't understand how to roll it like dough - can someone please explain? Do you use one or two hands? I don't get it. Please help?
yayita yayita 10 years
Hmmm, roll it like dough? ill try that as long as it works fast LOL
ethiopian_princess ethiopian_princess 10 years
dump him
nicachica nicachica 10 years
have any of you ever seen that Sex and the City episode where the girls take that tantric sex class for how to give hand jobs cuz Charlotte's guy fell asleep on her while they were having sex? the other night, i definately tried it on my guy and it drove him insane! really, all i did was act like i was rolling a piece of dough into a ball but it drove him insane...try it ladies!
t0xxic t0xxic 10 years
I think thats all it is. Well and there are things that go on down there if u catch my drift lol. Ur def right if they want it they give it first.
yayita yayita 10 years
That sucks, I'm sure there's nothing wrong with it, maybe he has some pregnant phobia LOL. Well as long as you dont give him any either. If he wants it, he better go first :)
t0xxic t0xxic 10 years
My hubby wont bc I am pregnant. Its weird for him. He will have sex as much as he wants but the other nope =[ so he doesnt get it either lol its equal I guess.
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