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Getting Over Ex-Boyfriend

Group Therapy: Moving on After Two Months

This question comes from Group Therapy in our TrèsSugar Community. Feel free to add your advice in the comments!

My ex-boyfriend broke up with me on Valentine's Day a little over two months ago. It was the worst breakup I have ever been involved in because of the fact that I was really crazy about him and it blindsided me. I cried for two weeks and thought I would never get over it. We cut off all contact and I went on my way about getting over it.

Flash forward two weeks ago. I met this guy who is 29 (7 years older than me) and I completely fell head over heels. I truly believe he is the one and I have never thought that anyone had "the one." I could never even picture myself getting married or having kids but this guy makes me so happy. However, all my friends and family are worried because it's so soon after my other relationship ended. I haven't even thought about my ex at all though and just want to move forward and really adore this guy and it's mutual. Is there something wrong with me for moving forward this soon? I have two other friends who got broken up with two months ago and they're still upset and I feel like a bad person at times or like I'm not doing this process right.

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it, anonymously, to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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Join The Conversation
jazzytummy jazzytummy 7 years
There is absolutely no problem with you dating this guy and being happy. The problem I see is that you are 22 and talking about marriage and "the one" with some guy you have only known for 2 weeks. You really need to chill, or this guy may bail if he senses desperation. The last thing you need is for this guy to walk because you are already picking out a china pattern. Enjoy this guy, but get other things into your life, get some balance. You sound a bit obsessive to me, so you really need to chill or you will blow it.
misshk misshk 7 years
I really believe that everyone grieves over a relationship ending at their own pace. There is NO set time, there is no need to wait... as long as you know within yourself that this is your time to move on, I say go for it. I just got out of a 5 1/2 year relationship in November 2008, I knew I was meant to be with someone else, and although that person was already in my life, I took my time to get over the 'ending' of that relationship but it UNDENIABLE that I was falling for the right guy and leaving the wrong guy behind. We've been together ever since and we're now expecting our first baby! So best of luck to you!
ashly83 ashly83 7 years
I think you can move on. I too am 2 months single. My ex ended it and had a new girl on the same night. That lasted a week and now he is with a woman at our workplace. I just met a nice guy two weeks ago and never realized how good I deserved to have it. I see my ex at work and he means nothing to me. To think Two weeks ago I couldn't stop crying and wanting him back! Take a chance on the new guy. Maybe it won't be anything serious, but like in my case even if I never get to have a relationship with this guy. I know that there are nice guys out there who find me attractive and it has helped my self esteem so much. Instead of being sad at work and walking around with a fake smile, I have a real smile that is coming from within from being so happy! Wish you all the best!
socalbeachgal socalbeachgal 7 years
Enjoy but move slowly. You are probably over your ex.
lickety-split lickety-split 7 years
Too soon to be happy? Remember back when you broke up with your boy friend and everyone said "you'll meet someone else"? Well, sounds like you did :) enjoy
kurniakasih kurniakasih 7 years
Well, I do advice you take it easy with the new guy. Don't jump into the conclusion that he's going to be 'The One,' you just have to enjoy yourself, and always be cautious every time you go into a new relationship. 3-4 months before I met my husband, I just ended it with a guy whom I was madly deeply in love with (for 2 years). So I was more cautious entering the relationship with my future husband (I didn't immediately stamp my hub with 'The One' mark or whatever like that--hey, I was like that with the other guy and it broke me up really bad when it's over LOL). My hub ended up convincing me that he's the right guy for me, so voila, we got married. :) Everyone has different pace on getting over relationship.
tlsgirl tlsgirl 7 years
Oops, move *on*
tlsgirl tlsgirl 7 years
Seems like a fine time to move to me. I broke up with a boyfriend of 4 years and started dating again post haste. My "rebound guy" and I have now been together almost 7 years, so who's to say?
AdhdBF AdhdBF 7 years
Whether or not it's too soon is something only you can know...for those people it might be too soon. Here's the thing....some people hate being alone and hate that the relationship ended. So they transfer the old relationship onto someone knew. Kind of like a heart transplant. I've seen it done so many times. Have you noticed that your feelings have become so serious with the new guy quickly? Just make sure it's him you want and not just a relationship. Also, are you the kind of person who dislikes being alone? I'm not trying to insult you or doubt you. It is good to ask yourself these things so you can figure out for yourself whether or not it's too soon. Because you owe it to yourself to be happy and healthy and ready for love when it presents itself.
genesisrocks genesisrocks 7 years
I agree that it's perfectly fine to be over your ex at this point. But slow down with the new guy. It's fun to fall hard and fast but just remember you can fall out of love just as fast.
skigurl skigurl 7 years
i don't think you're doing anything wrong, and let me share my experience, because i know where you're coming from: i dated my ex for a couple months, and thought he was the best guy ever, so hot, and the best thing that happened to me (at the time) and when we broke up, i took it hard...but i also realized as i grieved that he had so many faults and i was just blinded by his hottness and the fact that i felt so "lucky" to have him that i didn't realize he was SO not the guy i was supposed to end up with...and i got over him a few weeks later... then flash forward just over 2 months, and i met my current bf very randomly, and i knew right away he was the one, and we've been togther and happy for 2 years now when i started dating my boyfriend, my mom was all "but you thought this way about the last one..." etc. and was pessimistic that i could be this happy again so quickly, but i was 100% over my ex at that point, had moved on, and met a guy i absolutely clicked with as long as he's not a rebound guy and you're smart about not absolutely jumping off the deep end and eloping next week, i think it's great...i'm proud that you learned from your past relationship and have moved on and are happy!
chloe-bella chloe-bella 7 years
You're 22 years old, so it's not like you're in the process of recovering from a divorce after a 20 year marriage. Not to downplay the seriousness of your breakup, but I think a solid 2 weeks of crying plus another couple months is enough time to deal with your feelings and move on. Since you and your ex have cut off contact and you know that there's no chance of you getting back together, I actually think that moving on is more healthy than continuing to dwell on a failed relationship.
bryseana bryseana 7 years
I have a friend who remarried four months after her divorce. She's happier than ever now. Everyone moves on at their own pace. There's no set time. If you feel ready, then go for it. It's nothing to feel bad about. Your friends and family may just be worried because they don't want to see you get hurt again.
dexaholic dexaholic 7 years
I agree with everyone here. You can't compare yourself to your friends in this situation. Every relationship is different, just like every person is different. My fiance and I broke up over New Years, though my grieving period started three years earlier. By the time we both admitted it was over (for the second time), I was pretty much ready to move on. But like I said, every relationship is different. But I do think that you should take it a little slow to start with. Sometimes we can get blinded by someone who shows us a little positive attention after being treated poorly by someone else. You sound like a strong person and shouldn't doubt yourself. Have fun!
GregS GregS 7 years
In Ye Olde Days a widow would have to dress in black, keep her shades drawn, and not date for a year following the burial of her late husband. Hopefully we've progressed a bit from that! This guy may be a rebound guy, but you'll never know if you remain locked up in your house. If you have feelings for him, date him. You don't have to commit to anything, and probably shouldn't at this stage. Like Joe said, sometimes it takes a few weeks, sometimes months. I say go for it.
Elbee Elbee 7 years
Everybody gets over a breakup in their own time, and like Joe says, if you feel good about this guy and you have no old grievances over your last relationship, then why not? Congrats and all the best!
schnuppi schnuppi 7 years
I don't think there is anything wrong with it if you are really over your ex. However, I would slow down a little bit with the new guy since he just could be a rebound guy and you only know him for two weeks. I know I jumped into relationships a couple of times after a bad breakup, thinking the new guy is all that, without even realizing it. If he is "all that" still in three months it's really great. Good luck!
aprilmayjune1 aprilmayjune1 7 years
I never understood why people think there is a set time to grieve over a relationship. I think that its great that you were able to get over your ex and find an amazing replacement. You ability to get up and shake it off shows your are a strong person that doesn't let life get you down. Kudos to you and congrats on your new relationship.
JoeTyndall JoeTyndall 7 years
I remember the time I broke up with a girlfriend (I am a guy) and I was depressed over it for two weeks. I remember another time I broke up with a girlfriend and I was depressed over it for eight months. How long did your depression over your ex last? You said you do not think about your ex any more. If so, then your depression over him has ended and you can now move on, into this new relationship. So yes it is okay to move on and it is not too soon.
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