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Good Idea or Bad Idea: Having Friends with Benefits

The debate continues: can guys and girls just be friends? So far, the votes are split evenly down the middle. With 50% of you saying no, men and women can't be friends, it got me thinking about friends with benefits. I have a pretty strong point of view on this topic but I wanted to throw it out there to all of you. Do you think it's a good idea or a bad idea to mess around with someone you only consider a "friend?"


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babysoftpink babysoftpink 8 years
I think FWB is easier done for those who can be emotionally detached themselves from sex and the person. The attitude should be: Sex is just sex period. Absolutely no other feelings. If you can do that you can protect yourself emotionally. But again, FWB could infect you with a deadly disease that could kill you and it would be for nothing. Because if you are infected with a deadly disease from a bf or a husband, at least you would have died for someone who you have loved at one pt in your life but it would have been completely meaningless for a FWB except for the "one" bad decision you made.
calli-gurl calli-gurl 8 years
i think that it would totally effect the friendship and that it makes u kinda slutty. u really dont wanna be labelled as a person who goes around making out or sleeping, for that matter, with JUST anyone.
ur_momm ur_momm 9 years
bad bad bad bad bad.
quietone84 quietone84 9 years
I think it varies between people. I've done it a few times with success and it helped me to not settle for somebody I wasn't compatible with just because I needed the sex/affection.
pinktulips pinktulips 9 years
I had one at one point and he just got hurt...course I was kind of using him for some other reasons....but I am older now..and dont think I could do it...
scoop45 scoop45 9 years
Someone will get hurt before its all over with!! Seems harmless Lol
marthalilian126 marthalilian126 9 years
DANGER! That is my personal opinion of the friends-with-benefits situation. I have never seen it work out well and I have seen it crash and burn from many different vantage points. I know that I have been hurt when I grew too attached and I know that I have hurt others. Also, once you add the benefits in, the whole friendship dynamic changes, whether you want to admit it or not. It is a slippery slope and one that I would like to stay as far away from as possible.
pink_magnetism pink_magnetism 9 years
If your both on the same page and aren't wanting anything more then sure. The danger is if one of you starts developing feelings for the other or wanting it to be something more than it is.
geekygirl geekygirl 9 years
i'm with ninjastarlett - staying on the same page is the key. i've had one fwb and it worked out well, we were somewhat friendly, got drunk and slept together and kind of casually kept it up for a while (just every couple of weeks). he's eight years younger than me so i knew he probably wasn't into going steady and he knew i was just after fun. still good mates, just stopped having sex after a while and now i've got a steady bf (who's one of his good mates actually) and he's seeing a girl. worked out fine, just don't go trying to find love when it's just sex/companionship.
ninjastarlett ninjastarlett 9 years
The problem isn't BEING on the same page, it's STAYING on the same page. I think it works on an extremely temporary basis and must be completely mutual... which is rare. =\
cravinsugar cravinsugar 9 years
I am against it. I have not tried, it, but my beliefs contradict this whole idea.
Tnkrbelli Tnkrbelli 9 years
I say that if you are with a person who is on the same page and you both don't want it to get too serious than why not? I personally am a hopeless romantic and don't like surface relationships, but some of my friends love these types of relays.
talrocks talrocks 9 years
bad idea!
kiddylnd kiddylnd 9 years
Hmmm...not for me, and I think that in the long run folks will get hurt. Not now, but maybe later on down the line. Just to throw this out there - Friends with Benefits can happen between MEN & MEN and WOMEN & WOMEN. I've had many female friends who thought that it wasn't as big a deal to have a tryst with another girlfriend because they thought that it didn't count and that they wouldn't get hurt. It seemed that got a LOT more complicated than they ever dreamed it would!
designerel designerel 9 years
it CAN work if you communicate beforehand your intentions and remain emotionally unattached. however, once feelings come into play, it's not such a good idea anymore unless you/the FWB is strong enough to endure the hurt that may come.
d_ford d_ford 9 years
It can definitely work if both people are on the same page. I've had a few of them, and it definitely can work. Definitely don't want it to be someone who you are really close with because it can go horribly wrong, but it you are both single and not wanting commitment, then go for it.
SugarCat SugarCat 9 years
Bad idea - had my first ever real experience with this over the spring, and I have to say, I think that as people get older it gets a lot harder to do something like this. Some have different priorities in life and yeah, just using my vibrator would have saved me a lot of trouble!
FiestyRed36 FiestyRed36 9 years
I think the general concept of a friend with benefits is great. But in my experience, one person ends up getting attached or feelings get involved and then it becomes more than just sex. And then, it would have just been easier to keep using my vibrator. LoL
sarar855 sarar855 9 years
i just posted a blog of a similiar situation that i would love to know what everyone thinks soo please ck it out and give me some advice...
WhatTheFrockBlog WhatTheFrockBlog 9 years
I think that as long as both parties are honest with each other and realistic, it can work. I had a friend with benefits (I called him my "horizontal friend" :rotfl: )for few years in my late teens/early 20's, and the whole relationship was fantastic - no pressure, no jealousy, just fun. That being said, it's definitely something that can get complicated. I had a friend who began a "friends with benefits" relationship with a guy she had a huge crush on. She kept hoping that if he slept with her, he'd fall in love with her, and when he didn't, she got REALLY hurt.
Jennifer777 Jennifer777 9 years
It can work as long as you both are realistic in your motives. Plus, as with any relationship, communication is key...this means friendships, too....
sass317 sass317 9 years
It never worked for me- there always ended up being feelings- and once the guy turned into an abusive stalker type. Im sure some people could do it and it work out fine, I was just never one of those people- dont have to worry about it anymore though- since Im married now.
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