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Good Idea or Bad Idea: Saying 'I Love You' First

Good Idea or Bad Idea: Saying 'I Love You' First

It's scary. It's exhilarating. It's wonderful. And someone's got to do it first. Does it matter who? Does it feel safer to you if he's the one to do it?

Do you think it's a good idea that you're the one to say those three little words before he does?


Join The Conversation
Neekoh Neekoh 8 years
Resey, I absolutely agree with you! Live and love to the fullest.
Midnightkiss4u09 Midnightkiss4u09 10 years
I'm married and we both say I love you :)
kendalheart kendalheart 10 years
I say if you feel it, go for it!
ReseySugar ReseySugar 10 years
If you feel it, say it. Life is just too short.
LaLaLaurie06 LaLaLaurie06 10 years
The two relationships I have been in where the three words were said, both times it was initiated by him!!! The first time around 3 months. I said it back b/c I believed it. That relationship ended not so hot. The second time was around 1 month. NOT KIDDING. What is up with the guys professing their love to me so quickly? I'm not like some supermodel or lorelei. I'm actually a little nervous about saying it back and now am plagued by when I should say it, why don't I feel the same yet, etc. I think the first time I was able to say it back b/c it was college and we were around each other all the time. We spent time at each other's place of residence so it was like I knew lots about him in very little time. This second relationship we live about 30 minutes away and only get to see each other on weekends due to my late work schedule (I work in another city), so I'm not feeling it as quickly. Plus, he still lives with his parents (he's looking for a place but wants to buy and is not sure what will happen with us in the future...oh, it's complicated. Maybe someone understands), so it's hard to have alone time to see how we really function on our own. I want time but I'm worried about waiting too long. I don't want to have sex with him either before I'm sure, as that's how I roll. I don't just have sex with someone b/c I'm in a relationship with them. It has to be a solid relationship. Any advice?
pixiechick pixiechick 10 years
I love Jerry Maguire :) It definately depends on the relationship. And it depends how long its been. It would scare the hell out of me if some guy I just started dating just blurted out I love you. I'd wonder what kind of emotional problems he had.
andaman andaman 10 years
Jerry Mcguire handled it nicely in the film..though he backed off a little in the middle of it he eventually came back :)
andaman andaman 10 years
If you say it and he runs away, then you know he's not meant to be (he should have handled it better than to run away). There I think that's a good advice for new relationships.
Marci Marci 10 years
I second everything lickety said. As usual.
designergirl designergirl 10 years
Someone's got to say it first. Usually the guys to scared to say it first. in my experience.
lickety-split lickety-split 10 years
i haven't been in this situation for so long it seems a strange question. obviously if you don't feel like you should be able to say it there is something not quite right about the relationship. and yet a tiny part of me remembers discussing this very topic with many different girlfriends. men are so, what is the word, afraid of being trapped (maybe) that you sort of have to be a little distant in the early stages. they like to do the "hunting". after writing this i think it's probably a better idea to let him go first. and then NOT jump on it when he says it. respond but not with "oh god! i'm so glad you finally sid that!"
calibabi calibabi 10 years
it totally depends on the situation. i've said it first, and i've said it second. the important thing is really knowing that you mean it.
a-gentle-rain a-gentle-rain 10 years
It depends on how far into the relationship you are, the other person, how long you knew each other beofre you started dating, your personality, how old you are. Its a combination of many many things. I say go with what feels right.
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 10 years
I think either one can say it first! I have done it both ways; it depends on the relationship.
andaman andaman 10 years
I honestly don't know the answer to this question! It's been a long time..I think it doesn't matter but hey I may be wrong here :)
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