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Grab Bag! Should People Stay Together For the Kids?

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Gdeeaz Gdeeaz 7 years
my parents stayed together for my brother and i and while i knew they loved each other i knew they weren't in love with each other. Growing up I knew my parents were only together because they thought it was best for us and sometimes it was but for the most part I knew my parents weren't really happy and that made me feel horrible. My parents did all the family stuff taking us on trips, spending holidays with family, going to dinner and while it was great, I always knew that one day my parents would split and everyday I would think is this the day? And sure enough when that day came (about two months ago) I was both crushed and relieved. I was hurt that my parents were splitting but I knew they could finally move on and be happy. Also staying together for the kids affects a lot of people. My mother and father became extremely close with each others family and now that they split it has made things really difficult with the two families.
Yogaforlife Yogaforlife 7 years
I don't recommend staying together. My husband's best friend just went through this. His parents fought/bickered all growing up and stayed together just for the kids. Once the youngest completed college, they got a divorce. The kids have the most warped sense of what a marriage should be and are struggling to maintain their own loving marriages and not fall into the habits of their parents. I have too many friends who are damaged from parents who stayed together just for the kids' sake. If the parents aren't happy together, the children will sense it.
misterbroken misterbroken 7 years
if there is a change that they can work out there problem without hurting the kids. one thing i have learned that if there is no love that the kids will pick up on it and they will chose one and hurt the other
cdelaney cdelaney 7 years
Staying together for the kids can be way more detrimental and painful than divorce. I am a child of two divorces, and to me, it is better dealing with the reality than when my mom and stepdad tried to stay together and maintain "normalcy" that was completely strained and uncomfortable. It isn't worth it for any of the parties involved, especially the kids.
janneth janneth 7 years
Elin better realize Tiger is into this stuff so deep that he won't be able to give it up, or be satisfied with only her, no matter how wonderful she is. And about the other article, parents should have NO contact with their child's ex, esp if he dumped her. That's adult-child abuse.
KadBunny KadBunny 7 years
My parents fought violently for as long as I can remember and they didn't get divorced till I was eighteen; about 25 years into their marriage. Life at home was completely and utterly miserable purely because of their failed relationship. They stayed together because it was "the right thing to do" and divorce would have been shameful etc etc but as a result my siblings and I are somewhat traumatized. So as far as I'm concerned its pride VS psychological damage. But had they been more discreet I imagine things still would have been difficult; kids aren't stupid. They can sense if something is seriously wrong.
staple-salad staple-salad 7 years
Staying together for the kids is a bad idea in 99.9% of situations. Is it better for a kid to NOT see a loving relationship and merely grow up amidst constant bickering and a negative view of marriage and partnership, or to have divorced parents who are happy by themselves and with people they love? I'd go for the latter.
tlsgirl tlsgirl 7 years
No way. Trust me, your kids will know what's up. I'm a child of divorce, and I could tell even as a kid that my parents were happier apart, which made me feel better than the yelling that used to take place. Plus, most parents who do this end up divorcing once the kids are grown up, which can be even more traumatic.
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