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Growing Apart From Friends 2009-11-30 15:00:56

Are You Pickier With Friends as You Get Older?

I'm not sure if we become more persnickety and less tolerant (or tolerable!) as we age, or if we just have a better idea of what we want and expect in a friend, but the older I get the easier it is to recognize when a friendship is no longer working out. It's a lot like breaking up — painful but for the best. Has your bad-friendship threshold lowered with years? Do you wish it would?

Source: Flickr User virgo200745

Join The Conversation
dexaholic dexaholic 7 years
I find it harder to make/meet good friends as I get older. It was always easy in school and college, but now? Not so easy.
Advah Advah 7 years
Not pickier, more honest. If a "friend" is being a bitch to me, then I don't see why we should be friends.
Venus1 Venus1 7 years
Fewer friends - more lovers!!!
GMarie GMarie 7 years
But it's not ever really a dramatic thing, like "I'm cutting this person out of my life". I think that, for me, some friendships are forever and some are for a time. The ones that aren't forever just seem to drift to a natural conclusion as our lives go in different directions. I always keep the door open and really haven't ended any friendships on bad terms since the 8th grade or so ;)
janneth janneth 7 years
Opposite for me. I am more tolerant, accepting, and inclusive.
fashionplate525 fashionplate525 7 years
Yes, absolutely. The most are friends who I have just lost touch with over the years, but I had one friend I had to end things with up front. It was hard for both of us, but it was definitely for the best.
biarose biarose 7 years
Ever since leaving high school I'm picky with friends.
soapbox soapbox 7 years
Yes, I let very few people into my life now a days. I just don't want to deal with crap. I've let MANY friends go this year and I don't regret it. They were only pulling me down.
Kimpossible Kimpossible 7 years
"thinned the herd" LOL love it! ;-)
Venus1 Venus1 7 years
With friendship I have a lot to give but I suppose I expect a lot back (but no more than I am prepared to offer). As I got older I realised that with some "friends" I was seeing them out of duty and nothing more, although in honesty they did not need me either. Closer friends have become closer but some I have let go on the way because, sadly, there was nothing there. I
Venus1 Venus1 7 years
With friendship I have a lot to give but I suppose I expect a lot back (but no more than I am prepared to offer). As I got older I realised that with some "friends" I was seeing them ou tof duty and nothing more, although in honesty they did not need me either. Closer friends have become closer but some I have let go on the way because, sadly, there was nothing there. I
Ac2366 Ac2366 7 years
I think I've always been pretty picky about the people I surround myself with. I have let a few friendships go. I don't think it was because I became more picky though. I think it was because most of my friends moved away and any long distance relationship is hard to maintain. We still talk on facebook every now and then, but that's the extent of it.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 7 years
You bet. Also, I'm pickier about family members I'm close to. It's the same the principle.
Zivanod Zivanod 7 years
We are expecting our first child and I find that we are drifting away from many of our childless friends (the ones that wish to remain childless as opposed to those that wish to one day have kids themselves). I'm ok with it though. Our priorities have changed.
tlsgirl tlsgirl 7 years
Yes, graduating and moving away thinned the herd quite a bit. I just realized I was hanging out with some toxic people, and the space made me less of a pushover.
HoneyBrown1976 HoneyBrown1976 7 years
For me, I recognize toxicity a lot better now. Also, some friendships die out, if the people aren't progressing. If they are still acting the same way they did when we met as teens, I have to let them go.
tarabara1229 tarabara1229 7 years
Definitely. When I moved away to college, I let go of some friends who didn't really make an effort to keep in touch. And since I've graduated from college and moved to another town, it's happened again. That's not to say I'm opposed to renewing any lost friendships, but I'm definitely more cautious as I get older. I tend to have a (very) few close friends, and a lot of acquaintances.
RoaringSilence RoaringSilence 7 years
Oh it's exactly the opposite for me. The older I get, the more I realize no one is as cool and smart and funny and loving as the friends I've had all my life.
vmruby vmruby 7 years
I've always been a bit on the cautious side when it comes to people I surround myself with and I still am. I'm extremely fortunate when it comes to having good friends and I am grateful for it every day of my life.
lilxmissxmolly lilxmissxmolly 7 years
I'm only 18 and I've noticed this happening. But I've also noticed that I appreciate my good friends even more.
nals33 nals33 7 years
Yes! I most definitely do. I'm very choosy about who I let into my life. "The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best." - Epictetus. (Wise words to take into consideration when you look @ the people in your life.) (I thought there was something wrong with me cuz I've been a lot more picky about the people I call my friends but...apparently it's normal? lol)
Kimpossible Kimpossible 7 years
Yes, I've let friendships go and I'm much pickier now with my friends.
jelibeann jelibeann 7 years
definitely...and once we move out of state next summer, i am interested to see who we really do keep in touch with (and who decides to keep in touch with us, for that matter!)...a lot of random things have happened lately that make me want to become more conscious of how i spend my time, and with whom i spend it
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