There are obvious ways you can self-sabotage your relationship [1], and then there are also sneaky and subtle things you and your partner are both guilty of that can do harm. Small habits that you don't even think about can take a toll more than you think. They can slowly ruin your relationship without you even being aware of it, and in some ways, habits can hurt you even more than mistakes because they've been a part of your dynamic for a while now. See if any of the six ahead sound familiar and if they do, try to break them ASAP.
1. Staying in all the time.
Many couples eventually reach a level of comfort that keeps them on the couch most of the week. And there's nothing wrong with preferring to stay home together — as long as it doesn't completely replace your usual plans out. Of course date nights won't always be as frequent, spontaneous, or adventurous as they once were (though it's totally possible to keep it up [3]), but it's crucial that you both continue to have fun and try new things together beyond what's now become your routine.
2. Letting things slide.
You might think you're doing your relationship good by not confronting your partner about certain issues, but you're wrong. You can address things without making them into a big deal, and you're only harming yourselves by sweeping it under the rug. And even if the result pans out to be exactly why you wanted to avoid bringing it up in the first place, it's still better to discuss matters now rather than later.
3. Getting lazy about sex.
Things aren't as hot as they used to be [4], and that's completely normal. But you can change that! What won't help is allowing yourself to make excuses like being too tired or busy. Maintaining intimacy is a vital part of successful relationships, so this is one area you definitely don't want to get lazy about. Skipping a night of sex is an easy habit to begin forming — break it before it starts becoming the norm.
4. Skipping relationship milestones.
Even if you two aren't typically the gushy types to make a fuss over anniversaries, it's still important to acknowledge how far you've come together. Celebrating in your own small way is even more meaningful because it's unique to your relationship. These milestones become even more important as the years go by, so don't ignore them!
5. Falling asleep on the couch.
This one may not sound like a big deal, but it's a subtle yet harmful habit. It's not problematic when you doze off in front of the TV once in a while, but when the couch starts to replace your bed, you know that's not a good sign. Sleeping together is something that can be easily taken for granted, but waking up next to the person you love is more important than we think. When you sleep separately, even unintentionally, you're physically creating distance between yourselves, which can have an effect on your relationship.
6. Not speaking your mind.
Unless your significant other is psychic, they're never going to know how you're feeling or what you're thinking if you don't tell them. And you can't always expect them to pick up on the signs, either. What kind of things about your relationship are you complaining to your friends about but not directly to your SO? It doesn't benefit either of you to withhold things, regardless of how small or petty you think they may be.