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Handle This: He Doesn't Return Your Feelings

Handle This: He Doesn't Return Your Feelings

You’re not the kind of girl who rushes into something, but the new guy you’re with has you absolutely crazy in love. Things have been going really well between the two of you and you’re thrilled because you can tell he’s serious about you, too. He was excited for you to meet his friends, he’s nervous but eager for you to meet his parents, and he looks at you so intensely you feel like you might just faint.

After a great date night together you decide to tell him that you love him. You whisper those three little words to him but he's radio silent. The moment lasts for what feels like forever before he gives you a kiss, and nothing else. There’s no easy way to deal with this moment, so how would you handle this?


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petite42 petite42 9 years
If you must say it first, then do what my hubby did to me, only a few weeks into our relationship (on valentine's day, actually): First he said he was dying to tell me something that he probably shouldn't, so he was going to cover my ears so he could say it to me but I wouldn't hear it. Then, after covering my ears, he said, "I think I may be falling in love with you." Of course, I could read his lips and knew exactly what he said. This wording is perfect, because it's noncommittal! Then when I started to respond (I was going to say "me too"), he put his finger to my lips and said "shhh... don't say anything."
Marci Marci 9 years
Funny, sugarsister. :D :D I never, ever, ever have said it first. Ever.
sparklestar sparklestar 9 years
I had never said it first until my current boyfriend! He had been jostling around with "does Helen love x"? all day and asking me how I was feeling and stuff so I KNEW I'd get it back if I said it. ;) Lucky for him I felt it and ready so... =) If he hadn't said it back then I would have probably been hurt.
JessiShaye JessiShaye 9 years
never ever ever ever say it first. if you feel it good for you. if they feel it good for them. there is no way you can go back to normal after saying this and getting silence from the other party. even the most secure person will be hurt by akward silence and just a kiss.
Asia84 Asia84 9 years
it's not in my nature. so this doesn't apply to me.
Sun_Sun Sun_Sun 9 years
thats y i never, ever say it first =)
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 9 years
In this situation, there isn't much you can do other than accept what just happened and move on. I certainly wouldn't make an issue of it.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 9 years
Like some people here, I never said it first. My past loves always said it to me first, or they wrote it first.
thegiraffe thegiraffe 9 years
Guys think it is sissy to say I Love You, so that might be the reason too.
tomatoshirt tomatoshirt 9 years
lizrocks said it all
Kalle11 Kalle11 9 years
Lol, been there, done that as well. But I waited half a year for the same reply! We are still going strong three years later (we were young at the time), I'm determined not to say it so soon next and not wait as long for a reply. But this worked out great though and I'm glad for my patients.
tulipsaki tulipsaki 9 years
Maybe wait for him to say those words first?
j2e1n9 j2e1n9 9 years
Hahahaha! Seriously, has this ever happened to anyone? I've never been the 1st person to say it ever in my entire life. Its more fun to make them say it! Heehehehehehe :)
erratic-assassin erratic-assassin 9 years
always ALWAYS be prepared to not hear it said back to you. I'd continue on with the relationship...and only time would tell if he'd ever get the nerve to say it back to me. what a weenie! if it was ME, I would've kept those feelings to myself until he was comfortable enough to tell me he felt the same way. then that way NO ONE gets hurt and we all get what we want.
iRose iRose 9 years
Well I've had a guy say it to me and I didn't say it back to him because I didn't feel that way about him. I rather not say that I love you when I know that I don't mean it. You're lying to yourself and to that person you said it too. Yes you know you're hurting the person by not saying it back but consider this, do you want to be with someone who just says things they don't mean to make you happy, or someone who's going to be truthful even though the truth is going to hurt sometimes?
cvandoorn cvandoorn 9 years
No big deal, I would just brush it off. He'll say it back eventually, and if he doesn't, then he's not for me!
TidalWave TidalWave 9 years
meh, it's happened to me before. the guy knew it anyway, so it didn't scare him off but he just didn't say anything other than "i know." and i figured he wasn't going to say it so it really wasnt a big deal for me, i just wanted to get it out there.
MarinerMandy MarinerMandy 9 years
Been there, done that. About a month and a half later he said it. It did suck for me and I felt horrible, BUT you're not always going to be at the same point in a relationship at the same time. I'd much rather a guy wait until he really felt it and was ready to say it, than to have him say it prematurely.
sugarsister sugarsister 9 years
let's see, how have i handled it in the past? if memory serves, with a lot of regret. i'll just never do it again
lizrocks lizrocks 9 years
I'd like to think I'm comfortable enough with my feelings to tell someone I loved them and not immediately expect it said back. If I told a man I loved that I loved him and he didn't reply, I'd let him know that those were my feelings and there was no need to reciprocate. When it comes down to it, there are two reasons he wouldn't say it back: a) he's just not ready yet b) he's just not that into me and doesn't want to be. I'd tell him that I'd like for us to be going in a direction where he'd be comfortable saying it to me and if he doesn't want to go in that direction we should take a step back and compare our relationship goals. If he wants to but isn't ready, that's more than fine and it's in no way a deal breaker. Sometimes people just aren't ready to say those words out loud- even if they feel them.
Lovely_1 Lovely_1 9 years
I never say it first hahaha! Never have an hopefully never will!
mnp mnp 9 years
I think if it was a couple months into the relationship, I'll be slightly upset but I'd brush it off and just pretend it never happened. If it was a year into the relationship, I'll just go along with the flow and try not to ruin the moment but I'll bring it up later.
mnp mnp 9 years
How long have we been dating?
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