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Handle This: You Catch Him Kissing Someone Else

After a lot of back and forth on your part, you decide that you're not ready to be completely exclusive with the guy you've been seeing. Instead, you both decide to keep things how they are and continue to just date each other. Things are going well, until you’re both invited to a mutual friend’s engagement party.

As soon as you get to the party, both of you proceed to drink far too much and before you know it, you’ve lost track of your man. The next time you see him kissing a girl who you recognize as a friend of a friend. You want to scream at both of them, but you also feel like you don't have the right to, so how do you handle this?


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JaimeLeah526 JaimeLeah526 9 years
I wouldn't want to date a guy that was this rude to me. Even if you aren't exclusive he shouldn't make out with other girls when the two of you are out in the same location. I'd leave the party or completely ignore him for the rest of the night and talk to him about it later. If you're not ready to be with him exclusively I wouldn't be able to get past this stuff for someone who's not spectacular.
alexask alexask 9 years
onesong - you got it
Fallen85 Fallen85 9 years
"it's possible that he didn't know that, so I would wait until he was "free" and pull him aside to let him know that. Depending on the level of jerkiness of the response, I would either forgive or write him off." hahhahahaha seriously? Interrupt his makeout session and explain to him that it's impolite to make out with other girls when you're on a date??! What kind of guys do you date that this seems logical to you? So... let me get this straight... if your husband sleeps with you when your drunk it's rape... but if the guy you're on a date with makes out with another chick while you're on a date with him you forgive him based on the jerkiness of his excuse?? Wow... you have some interesting views.
sass317 sass317 9 years
I would ignore him for the rest of the night and if he came looking for me later (like for a a ride home or something) I would say, "Oh OUR date is over when I see you kissing someone else, find your own way home." Exclusive or not, it is NOT ok to make out with someone else when you are on a date with me. Seeing something like that would certainly make me not want to be serious with him, hell if he will do that when we are on a date, imagine being "exclusive" and him going to a party without me. No thanks
rabidmoon rabidmoon 9 years
To be honest, I never seem to get into the "dating but not exclusive thing." Maybe that is good luck, or bad luck depending on your viewpoint but I tend to be with em, or NOT with em. This stuff just gets too messy for me. But saying that, if I WAS in this situation then..depends on a couple of things: Scenario 1: We go to the party separate, and run into each other. He ends up kissing girl. I may feel a bit stung, or pissed off, but tough cookies, tbh. I was part of the reason the situation is like this, my choice was part of why this is happening. Most likely I would think "well that proves I had some right to be cautious". If I was to hold off on a real commitment to a guy, then there are a lot of reasons why he might be kissing that girl, feeling resentful of my decision being one of them. Either way, its a warning sign that he wasn't that into me, is too fickle, too insecure, and my desire to not be exclusive was totally justified so...well, good to know now, move on. Scenario 2: We go to the party together and he snogs someone else that same night. I might be less diplomatic if only because it shows him to be a complete arsepiece by acting this way. Think something along the lines of waltzing up to him, interrupting the kiss, and taking his arm in yours saying something like "Why honey, I didn't know it was a race.", with a sweetly sarcastic smile before pouring your drink over his head and sashaying off to find someone to play with for the evening. Seriously, if your instincts told you to hold off being exclusive, its probably for a good reason, so why bust your own chops over the cretin anyway? Better off without him, and you can't have it both ways so don't whine when you get what you asked for.
snowbunny11 snowbunny11 9 years
Yeah there is definitely a HUGE difference between not being exclusive and making out with someone else while you are on a date! That being said, it's possible that he didn't know that, so I would wait until he was "free" and pull him aside to let him know that. Depending on the level of jerkiness of the response, I would either forgive or write him off. Maybe you should wait until he is sober though! Also, if you want to be exclusive, it would help avoid things like this. Yeah, it was a totally jerky thing to do, but if you care sooo much then you should just tell him you don't want him kissing girls, ever.
lilxmissxmolly lilxmissxmolly 9 years
i believe that people are still just as responsible for their actions if they're drunk, if not more so because they knowingly make the decision to let themselves lose control. even though you weren't exclusive, you were out on a date, so i would ditch the guy for good.
Muirnea Muirnea 9 years
Ok, being exclusive has nothing to do with it if you are on a date at a party together! I would prob. run away and cry like brielleblonde said, lol, and not date/talk to him again. Because thats like being on any other date, like a lot of people have said already, and who on earth goes off kissing other people when they are on a date with someone?!
sldc sldc 9 years
To quote Fallen85, "OH HELL NO..." Sure you were not "exclusive," but that is just tacky and very revealing of his personality. There are plenty of men out there. If you did not want to be exclusive and this is how he acts, then you know you need to focus your energies elsewhere.
silly_pickle silly_pickle 9 years
While they're not exclusively dating each other, he should at least be exclusive to her on a date! As in, not making out with other girls while out on a date, that's just trashy.
Fallen85 Fallen85 9 years
thats true... alize is expensive... and yummy. He's not worth my alize and cranberry! Maybe I would just huck the lemon at him. Asia, I like how you think. We could definitely do some damage. hehehe
mlen mlen 9 years
i agree that if you went to this party as a date to your guy then its a different story- i would call him out on being totally rude. if it were a scenerio where i saw him out somewhere random, if he didn't know i saw, i'd wait a day or two to see if he was honest about it and then take it from there, and maybe revist the discussion on exclusivity. if he knew i saw then i'd bring it up next time i talk to him and admit it bothered me and that i wanted to re think my decision. i have the feeling the semi-relationship i am in right now will come down to a similar situation to this!
Asia84 Asia84 9 years
Fallen: i think that if the guy and myself arrived separately it would be a different story too. he knew it was a good chance i was coming. For him to do that still shows his a*s like that makes me wonder if he is really that stupid to think i'm gonna watch him hook up with other chicks only for him to call later for a pony ride. As much as I love the legitimate opportunity to throw a drink on someone, I hate to waste liquor. We'd (you and I) would have to brainstorm on something to do him. Something clever . . .he has to modify his stupidity. Let him think he's slick . . .and then BOOM!
Asia84 Asia84 9 years
This guy is a jerk! Who the hell goes to a party with someone and then makes out with another girl!? The classy thing to do: walk away, and be glad you followed your gut by not becoming exclusive with a guy that disrespects you. The HOOD thing to do: Front his a*s in front of EVERYONE. Make a scene, make him and ol' girl (if she knows you and him have been hooking up) feel like hot horse sh*t. Then strut out of the party and get in your nice little car and head to a nice upscale lounge where you can be appreciated by the other millions of good-looking, disposable men in the city.
Fallen85 Fallen85 9 years
lol much appreciated bellaressa!
bellaressa bellaressa 9 years
:lol: Fallen, I look forward to your comments.
Fallen85 Fallen85 9 years
Oh, if we both happened to be invited to the same party but didnt come together and just happened to see it, way different story. If seeing it bothered me then I would talk to him about it but if he was there with me.. again with the drink in his face. Preferably something that would burn his eyes and be really sticky on him all night... like Alize and cranberry juice with a lemoin that hits him right in the eye... perfect.
Fallen85 Fallen85 9 years
See Ster, I was totally agreeing with you up until what you said you would do. You're on a date with a guy, you go to a party together, he gets a little tipsy and ends up making out with some other bitch? Oh Hell No. Theres a BIG difference between not being exclusive and making out with other girls when you're at a party together! What would I do? I would throw a f*cking drink in his face call him a low down dirty disgusting dog (alliteration, yay!) and dump him on the spot. I'm cool with you keeping your options open if I'm not sure about you but making out with someone else when you're with me? Uh uh.
Witchy-Ways Witchy-Ways 9 years
I'd totally leave, it would be a somewhat humiliating situation for me, especially if it was a "sort of date" with the guy.
zabrow zabrow 9 years
if a guy i was dating was out with me & making out with another girl, that would be a sign that maybe he's not the type of guy i'd even WANT to be exclusive with eventually. so i'd probably avoid him for the rest of the night & then avoid his calls. if i just ran into him somewhere randomly & he was making out with another girl, that'd be a whole different situation.
Ster Ster 9 years
Oh just realised I didn't answer the question at all :-) So what would I do ... probably leave. I'd feel utterly embarrassed and probably teary and wouldn't be in the mood to talk to him, or anybody else for that matter.
Ster Ster 9 years
I think there's a difference between not being exclusive and making out with someone while being on a date with you. That's just rude. Imagine if it's your first date, you're obviously not exclusive, and suddenly he jets off and you catch him with another girl? Not done. It would be a different story if you accidentally bumped into him somewhere ... But I never got the whole "we're not exclusive" thing. You're either interested in eachother or you aren't. And if you're not interested enough to make it exclusive, than it's probably a lost cause anyway.
onesong onesong 9 years
um not decide to be "non exclusive" with a guy i like that much in the first place.
yadiet yadiet 9 years
Just to be funny, walk over and say glad you met.. haha But you really can not say much because you decided not to take the relationship serious.
7kimba7 7kimba7 9 years
I realize that in the first sentence of the first paragraph, I said that I wasn't ready to be completely exclusive. I would in the future be careful what I wish for. I don't think you can scream at someone for kissing someone else when you weren't exclusive. I think manners dictate that he shouldn't have kissed someone else at the same party, but whatev.
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