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Handle This: Your Best Friend Flirts With Your Crush

Your friend has always been a little wild, but after a recent breakup with her long-term boyfriend, she’s gone totally boy crazy. Every time you go anywhere together, she finds the nearest guy and immediately starts to flirt with him in the most over-the-top way possible.

This alone is annoying enough, but you're disgusted when one night, while you're out with co-workers, she proceeds to lay the flirt on thick with the guy she knows you have feelings for. You understand that she’s just acting out some of her insecurities, but she’s breaking the friend code so how would you handle this?


Ashley15154296 Ashley15154296 3 years
I'm in a similar situation . She is my coworker and she has a boyfriend. I told her that I had this big crush on this guy that works in another shop by my work. She's never even noticeed him or who he was until I told her I liked him and I thought he was cute. Now she's trying to get all dressed up every time she works around his store. And she gets mad when she doesn't work in that store . And it pisses me off because she obviously thinks I'm stupid. I would love to smash her ugly trashy face into the concrete but I don't want to be fired or arrested over that. I just don't know what to do if I should confront here or not. I can tell he's not interested in her at all but it just makes me mad because she's suppose to be my friend and she has a boyfriend. Anyone with ideas about what I should do ?
suzyq1990 suzyq1990 8 years
Yeah, I am definately going through this right now. My best friend (also my cousin) is acting really weird when we hang out with my crush. They sometimes hang out alone, and when I call they always act different. I believe they are hooking up but can not be sure. But like my sister always told me "Even if she seems like a good friend if she is a hoe, she will get your man eventually." Or at least try. And yall wanna say well if the guy talks to her then he dont like you blahhh blah. I have not told my crush I like him yet, but she knows I do. Which is messed up in my opinion.
Jeny Jeny 9 years
Man I TOTALLY am dealing with this right now! And what sucks even more is that she's a coworker of mine. It's gone from competing with me for guys, to sleeping with my guys friends roommates/friends. It's become really creepy. I even took her out of state with me to visit some friends and she ended up sleeping with a guy friend and now she's 'totally in love' with him, putting me in a really awkward position because she's having one night stands with guys here in our city.. I've just distanced myself from her and am no longer taking her out with me when I go out.. I should probably write to dearsugar on this one lol
Lele777 Lele777 9 years
Amen aimeeb!!!
aimeeb aimeeb 9 years
If you are friends with someone that you can't introduce men to, for fear that she'll go after them, drop that friend like a hot potato. You are supposed to be able to trust your friends, and really, who can trust a floozy?
Silverlining10 Silverlining10 9 years
My friends have not only flirted with my crush, but hooked up with him and/or dated him. Thankfully, this kind of girl drama has stopped since high school, but here's what I would say, now: BACK OFF, HOE.
avettafawna avettafawna 9 years
I don't know, I think it is sort of a question about if he flirts back or not because I really don't consider flirting with some dude I'm not yet even dating to be "breaking the friend code", espically if it is a friend who is recently shattered by a breakup. I'd like to think that I know my friends well enough to know which ones would actually make a move on a guy I'm into, so if this friend was genuinely trustworthy, then I don't see why I'd want to get my panties in a wod over her desperate attempts to gain male attention. However, if this new guy I'm into falls for it and plays into it, then perhaps I know he isn't the right guy for me.
goesmyheart goesmyheart 9 years
It's not really a question of if he flirts back or not. Your friend should NOT flirt with your crush! And you should say something to her. If your friend doesnt respect you enough to keep her self in check, maybe the situation w/her should be reevaluated.
avettafawna avettafawna 9 years
I don't know, I kind of agree with Berlin. If it was a one time thing than perhaps it shouldn't be such a big deal, and if the dude in question flirts back then he is probably not worth crushing over anyway. I would think that maybe it was a good thing that I discovered he wasn't into me before I got too emotionally involved. As for the friend, like I said, if it was a one time thing I'd not say anything about it. If she kept doing it to every guy I was into, I'd probably realize she wasn't really the kind of friend I'm looking for and get a new best friend.
nakitabanana27 nakitabanana27 9 years
WOAH! This is oddly a current situation that I've been dealing with...One of my roommates got hurt badly in a relationship a while back and after a few weeks of intense sadness she picked herself back up and started going out a lot...with a few different guys...she's always been a flirt, but now its a constant factor in any and most situations. The worst is when I would tell her that I was starting to like someone or if I thought they were cute, she would start flirting with them like crazy! After the second time she did that I stopped talking to her about any prospects I had in mind, and when she would ask I'd just smile and say not to worry about it....While I realize that flirting is a way of life and can be extremely fun, I don't think its cool to flirt with your girlfriends crush...I think in future I'll confront her if she starts to bat her lashes at my man, but for now I just keep whatever boy I want to stick around away from her...
emalove emalove 9 years
I'd call on her on it too and let her know that I was annoyed.
jnnyvox jnnyvox 9 years
i think it's best to just avoid being good friends with skanky/flirty girls to begin with because eventually they'll screw you over. there are so many cool girls out there, why waste your time hanging out with the trampy ones?
jennifer76 jennifer76 9 years
I would probably pull her aside and remind her that I really like the guy and ask her to tone it down.
Berlin Berlin 9 years
Uh, be the mature one and let it go. If she has been drinking, then it's just crude drunk behavior that shouldn't be dealt with then anyhow. She's going through a rough time and just needs to feel desired, sad that she would need it but it's rooted in abandoment and paternal issues that are usually subconscious. He may be your crush, but you don't own him. If you wanted him, then you should be laying it on with the flirting is how I see it. We can't make claims to people, especially if we aren't even with them! If he wants her, then there's really nothing you can do, you can't force him to like you. Or he may just be trying to be nice since it's your friend and he's really trying to impress you (remember it's guys we're talking about here, they aren't the brightest when it comes to reasoning). Everyone wants to feel desired, and she's obviously taking the breakup hard and needs to get the craziness out of her system. I say definitely let it go and if you really are bothered by it, talk to her at another time, like the next day at lunch, but brining it up at a party or outing is just in bad taste all around. It will spark emotions, cause bitterness, and make you seem very dramatic. After all she could feel horrible about it the next day too! So give her a chance, take pity on her, grown up and realize it isn't the end of the world. But that's just how I'd handle the situation:)
MollyElizabeth MollyElizabeth 9 years
I'm the same. I'd definitely pull her aside and ask what's going on. I've done it before with one of my best friends and I wouldn't hesitate to ask the question again.
bchicgrl bchicgrl 9 years
Ok wow reading this was like reliving my life 4 years ago. one of my former best friends did just this to me, I tried like crazy to keep my crush and her from meeting but it didn't work too well. Long story short, they both disappeared for a week after they met and my other and still best friend was the one that called her out on it and found out the truth. I flipped and never spoke to her again after saying some not nice things before severing ties. Honestly if she would have owned up to it the first day we'd probably still be friends.
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