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Handle This: Your Date Is Buzzed!

If you were put in a situation like this, how would you handle it?

You finally met a guy that you were excited to go out with. A date was set and you were looking forward to it all week. He said he'd call you in the late afternoon to solidify your plans for the night, but when he called, you could tell that he was out someplace and it was pretty evident that he had been drinking. When you asked where he was, he told you that he stopped by the local pub to catch the football game with his buddies. He went on to say he was really excited to see you and asked when you'd be ready. Unfortunately you're instantly turned off — you weren't expecting to have to deal with a buzzed date, especially a buzzed first date!

Part of you wants to reschedule, but you're already in the going-out mindset, plus your calendar is almost completely booked up due to the holidays. You're torn, so how would you handle this?


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Glittersniffer Glittersniffer 8 years
This is tough for me...I need details! Like was he pissy-ass drunk, or just sounded tippy? Being the she-guy friend (All lady, but I get guy's logic), I've been around guy friends who have been hitting the sauce to calm pre-date jitters. Great guys, the lot of them, they were just all sorts of nervy and overdid it on the liquid courage. One was bad enough that I spent an hour convincing him to call her, apologize profusely, be honest, and ask for a reschedule. A little tippy is one thing, but he was scheet-howzed. She agreed to a rain check...thank heavens, they're stupidly perfect for one another. All told, I'd be honest about how I felt. If I was into the guy up to that point, it'd be a "I am really, REALLY looking forward to meeting you, but it sounds like you might've had a few too many. Can we try this again next weekend, and SHARE our nerve-calming cocktail hour?"
Jeny Jeny 8 years
I'm thinking about my current beau and I don't think I would have cared. I would have made myself a glass of wine while getting ready and caught up lol.. I definitely enjoy football and a good drink so I wouldn't be upset at all..
princess_eab princess_eab 8 years
Oh, God. I went on a blind date where he got stinking drunk - he was clearly an alcoholic. Even if this guy is cute and nice, it's a really bad sign, especially if he made no effort to conceal it. Getting drunk before a first date says either: a) he doesn't care what sort of impression he makes on you, or b) he's an alcoholic.
quitecontrary quitecontrary 8 years
Very funny situation. It's cool, because he had a normal afternoon with his friends and still wanted to see you (it's very easy for him to bail if he's having a guy's day) BUT he thought of you and wanted to meet. I'd handle it by saying- "I've been looking forward to seeing you, but if you're already into a night with the guys, I'd rather see you for brunch tomorrow". if it pisses you off that much, it means that you're probably not a good match anyways. Me? I'd do like bbkf said and just drop a nice cocktail while getting ready and hope that he doesn't continue hardcore through dinner. AND, if he's driving- ditch him and meet your girls.
jazzytummy jazzytummy 8 years
First impressions matter, and he should know that. He could've seen his buddies, had one beer, then met you sober. I think it is unbelievable that a guy would get drunk before a first date....doesn't he care about impressing you at all? Aren't first dates about getting to know each other? Well, now you know one thing, he picked getting drunk over making a good impression. Plus, is he driving? If so, hugely irresponsible. Red flags all around. Cancel the date. If he asks you why, be brutally honest with him. Maybe he'll try to make it up to you, or maybe he won't be such a dumb fuck the next time in a first date situation.
queenlizzie queenlizzie 8 years
What's the point of going out with someone once if you're going to be booked the rest of the month anyway? Skip it.
oohsexypenguin oohsexypenguin 8 years
If it was the first date, to be honest I'd probably call the whole thing off. Perhaps I'd feel differently if I hadn't already been through a similar situation - it was the 3rd date, my date and I went to a small get-together (I'd invited him because I wanted to introduce him to my friends), and for some reason he thought it was ok to get knock-down, full blown drunk to the point where he was falling all over me and begging for a kiss. Ugh. Needless to say that didn't work out, lol.
Stacey-Cakes Stacey-Cakes 8 years
Just down a couple cocktails while getting ready for the date and then both of you will be a little buzzed. I think a drink or two might help cut down on the first date jitters. Unless of course, you are not the type to drink/party, then this is a clear sign that you two probably aren't made for each other.
starangel82 starangel82 8 years
I've been on a date like this before. It sucks. Well actually, the guy I went out with was hungover and then started knocking back drinks during our meal... which was a lunch date. I was so completely turned off. Part was because the more alcohol in him, the more he started asking me questions (like about my sex life!) that completely off limits (for me anyway) on the first date. I just made sure he got in a cab to go home and that was that. It made a really bad first impression on me. I'm fine with having a glass of wine or a cocktail on a first date, but not so much that you have to put your date in a cab. And if someone wants to go drinking with their buddies after the date, that's fine! Just don't show up to the date hung over or already drunk.
rellicDragon rellicDragon 8 years
As long as he sobers up by the evening its okay ... and I have actually had a cosmo too many during my first dates to calm my nerves ... So I dont' blame the guy ... he is out with his buddies havin a good time, but still remembers to call you and honor his commitment ... So give him benefit of doubt for the first date ... but if he is buzzed/drunk or even drinks too much for the next date, write him off ...
brookberrys brookberrys 8 years
I would bail on him. I don't drink anyway, and I don't enjoy being around drunks. If he's willing to do this on a first date, I think it would be best to get out now.
Muirnea Muirnea 8 years
No way. That's so disrespectful, especially on a first date. That would make me think he wasn't very serious about the date and he was just using me for a fun night out. I would call off that date and forget him.
missangelique999 missangelique999 8 years
No, not good. Something similar happened to me before.. I had a date planned with a guy I had just met and he said he wanted to pick me up from my house, which I thought was very considerate of him. He called a few minutes before he was supposed to be there to pick me up and said he was running late. Although I was disappointed , I figured hey, at least he called and let me know. He didn't show up until about 20 minutes later and when I got into his car it stank of alcohol. He was definitely drunk and DRIVING-to pick me up for a date!? I couldn't believe he had the nerve. The date ended very quickly.
Chrstne Chrstne 8 years
Well, on a first date, that is sorta weird. If I was really into the guy though, I'd go hang out, and we'd reschedule our "first date". Come on, a lot of people have been drunk the the afternoon...honestly, you can't label someone "ALCOHOLIC", "UNRELIABLE", etc. Stuff happens. You can't put off life and going out with friends for a date. If hanging out with friends means "oops, I drank a bit too much" -- no biggie. If it happens to me, and if I have been drunk in the afternoon, I can't criticize his actions.
omilawd omilawd 8 years
The first few dates are about making an impression and getting to know one another. If he's drunk (in the afternoon) before we go out, what kind of image am I getting about him?
KadBunny KadBunny 8 years
Um.. no way. I understand the guy love, but still. He knew ahead of time. There's no excuse; unless he got dragged out there. But even then I'd be like "sorry fellas but I've got a date after." If you're just getting to know the guy I'd find it highly unacceptable on ANY date. First or not. How can you get to know him and have a serious chat when he's out of it?
skigurl skigurl 8 years
mamasita - also a good call: he is still honouring his commitment to hang out with you, even though he's out with friends! it shows he's, at least, reliable, even when buzzed! give him a chance!
skigurl skigurl 8 years
it really depends on the guy and the way he handled the situation...he said he's really excited to see you, so i'd give him a shot to be a fun date. i'd also knock back a few, and see where the night takes us. but as soon as he did something else disrespectful or if i could tell he was just a rummy and not worth my time, i'd take off. but i definitely would go and see what happens!
A-Journey-To-Wellth A-Journey-To-Wellth 8 years
same here bbkf!! :)
mamasitamalita mamasitamalita 8 years
Exactly, bbkf. You know now that his friends matter to him, he's a sports fan, and regardless of these spur of the minute plans he made, he is still honoring a commitment he made to you. Plus, who hasn't had a glass of wine before a date to calm nerves (points to self)? If EVERY date you have he shows up buzzed or even drunk, then that is a red flag. But I think one time, especially when he is 100% ready to keep up his first date offer, you should be fine. Catch up, or suggest you guys go to a cafe where they don't serve alcohol so then you can eliminate that part of the evening to not make it worse! :)
bbkf bbkf 8 years
I wouldn't be turned off. I'd knock back a few to catch up!
Jessiebanana Jessiebanana 8 years
Nonononononono, this kind of behavior is very disrespectful. You guys had a date and he shouldn't be drinking before hand to the point where you can tell on the phone. If someone does this to you on the first date who knows where it will go from there. It could be a one off or fluke, but why waste your time. Call some friends, go out and tell him you've changed your mind.
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