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Handle This: Your Ex Wants You Back

When things ended with your ex a few months back, you were devastated. He was the one who wanted to break up because he said he was feeling uncertain about the future. Prior to his confession, things had been great, and you thought you might end up with him in the long run.

You’ve done some healing and finally started putting yourself out there again, only to get a phone call from your ex. He wants to take you on a date and see if you can rebuild the relationship. You love him, but he broke your heart, so how do you handle this?

Source

JaimeLeah526 JaimeLeah526 9 years
I'd be really honest with him and I wouldn't let myself fall for him right away. I'd also tell him that if he breaks up with me again I will definitely not go back with him again. I'd give it a try because I believe that love is really mysterious and weird.
DDL DDL 9 years
I'm a guy and after my ex broke up with me I didn't do any partying. None of my guy friends have ever gone sleeping around after breaking up or getting dumped. To Fallen85- I find your comment to be sexist and overly generalized. Just because all of your exes celebrated after losing you doesn't mean all guys do. As for my answer: my ex broke my heart. And as much as I'd love for things to go back to the way they were, you can't turn back time and undo all the things that went wrong. Even now, I wish she'd call me and apologize for hurting me and try to get back with me but its never gonna happen. And if it does happen, it's not the best thing for me to do. I need to move on because there's no telling whether or not she'll hurt me again. Ladies, guys can't forgive a heart-breaker.
alltherage alltherage 9 years
Fallen's comment is so true. though the ex didnt necessarily ask me back. it was about six months i got a msg from him saying he missed takling to me blah blah and by then though i had a lot of emotional work to do i was determined to move on and had no interest in going back. totally a case of not knowign what u had.
talanted08 talanted08 9 years
It comes a point and time when you know something just isn't right! Men seem to have this feeling all the time b/c for one they may feel like your getting to mushy to fast, the timing just isn't right or I'm just not feeling it! Come on now..... why can't they just inform us of the truth and let it go. I think we could handle it better if the truth was to be told! I wouldn't jump the ship to fast b/c he may just be bored and need someone to talk to. Then the ship will sail off one day with out you if you went back with out a good reason. Either way it goes...... just play hard to get!
Martini-Rossi Martini-Rossi 9 years
hes a ex for reason never go back, move on.
le-romantique le-romantique 9 years
wow this just happened to me 3 days ago. . . he broke up with me over a month ago because his job was stressing him (audio engineer, you work 48 hours straight then go home and sleep for like 10 hours) and i understand because im in the same field, but in television so we ended it (it was already long distance) and now were tryin to work things out cuz we both realized how much happier we were when we where together and how much we love each other... idk
Leanne1078 Leanne1078 9 years
That's happening to me right now actually. At the time, I predicted it would and he was adamant that it would not but lo and behold--he actually said "You were right"! Problem is, I have a new man now. It's all very confusing but I decided I'm going to give this new relationship a true chance and if life brings me back to the ex, then I'll go with it. If not, he learned a really good lesson and we'll stay friends regardless.
whatthew00t whatthew00t 9 years
Within the context of this question I agree with Melo D that it just depends on the relationship. I'd have to think about how the break-up come about and should I enter this relationship again. My ex and I were both young and inexperienced with our relationship, but I was just unhappy with how he treated me during our brief relationship. He did that to me last year in July. Ugh, he was so desperate lol.
Melo-D Melo-D 9 years
It's an epidemic right now b/c once spring hits it's the "time to feel free" season and summer is coming so we've got to get ready to just smash anything possible. Now, the weather is starting to cool down and well, time to find that someone special to cuddle with before it gets too cold and I'm lonely. Yeah, this situation depends on the terms of the break up. But if the reason we broke up were to be fixed then I could see a possibility. But, I would not dive right back into a serious relationship.
Deidre Deidre 9 years
Too little, too late...hopefully you've already started to move on, and he didn't realize what he had when he had it. Why would he appreciate you in the long run the second time around? Then again, I'm sort of a bridge-burner and tend not to look back on that kind of thing.
ilanac13 ilanac13 9 years
i think that this is a tricky one. if it were me, i wouldn't go to dinner unless i was SURE that i wanted to get back with him. it's hard when you know that you had loved the guy but when you got hurt, it puts your defenses up. for myself - in the past i would have gone to dinner, gotten my hopes up, and tried to see where things shook out, but now i know better and i've realized that unless i'm 100% sure that he's the one, i won't get back into things.
Muirnea Muirnea 9 years
LOL, bluestar :D I agree with you mostly, it would be extremely rare for me to give a guy another chance after that.
Muirnea Muirnea 9 years
Fallen: SO SO SO SO SO SO SO TRUE!!! That is exactly right!!! I really don't think I would get back with the guy. It does depends on the situation though. But, he obviously left for some reason, I would have to know for sure that whatever his issue was, was resolved. It would have to be a pretty good reason too. If it was just an issue of him wanting to see what's out there (greener pastures), or something stupid and immature like that, then no way would he have a second chance. If he can't see what he has until he loses it, I deserve better. If I finally did decide to give a guy another chance, then he is going to have to beg and plead for months, and that will just to be able to talk to me again. I would take a super long time to make sure he is serious about it and isn't going to just run off and change his mind again. I mean really? Does he think I was just laying around crying my eyes out waiting for him to come back the whole time? I would be out there dating!!! lol! And when he came crawling back...I would still be out there dating and he would just be another guy that might get a chance, except he would have a worse chance than new guys, ha.
bluestar bluestar 9 years
Nah, I wouldn't take him back...only because I've learned the hard way that it doesn't work. I'm really sorry that he couldn't find someone as fucking cool as me after we broke up, but he's gonna have to try! :)
princess_eab princess_eab 9 years
ha ha! this just happened to me, I wonder if this is an epidemic lately... um, I would say yes only if things truly were amazing before the breakup and there weren't major problems. Also, he'd have to beg on his hands and knees and really convince me he's for real. If there were any problems at all that I feel couldn't be solved, I'd have moved on. In that instance, he'd get the third degree about how he would work with me to solve those problems. And he would have to work 3 times as hard to win me back. If he treated me like crap at any stage during the breakup, nope. He doesn't get another chance.
MissJules5x MissJules5x 9 years
i 100% agree with fallen and that is how most guys handle breakups. However, i don't know your ex so i don't know if he was one of those people. You finally got over him. you owe it to yourself to not get involved iwth him again. he broke your heart and it took you a long time to heal and then he thinks he can just crawl right back in. dont give him the control to have things on his terms. you tell him you've been getting back out there and that you don't trust him and it will take time to establish a friendship with him before you could ever consider getting into a relationship with him (if thats what you ulimately want) but definitel don't go running back to him cuz he will only keep doing the same things because he knows he can. KEEP THINGS ON YOUR TERMS. he fucked up so he no longer has any say.
geebers geebers 9 years
Fallen -YES YES YES! So true...and sad isn't it? I would not take him back unless we fully discussed our issues- I had this happen to me and it took him 1 week to realize he made a mistake and it took ME a few months to fully commit in the relationship mentally while we worked it out together after that one awful week- once I had that trust that he would not cut and run again. I mean it was just one week for me and I made a huge big deal about the break-up so I can't imagine 3 or 6 months of it! It really depends on why we broke-up and how he behaved after the break-up with me. That would be my deciding factor to take him back.
Fallen85 Fallen85 9 years
I've found that for break ups, men and women work very differently. For women, after we break up with a guy or after we get dumped we get upset about it right away and we fight a little to get them back and we cry and basically mourn the relationship. After about 3-6 months we start moving on, getting over it and searching for someone new. Men, on the other hand, after they get dumped or break up go and celebrate! They get trashed with their boys and start sleeping with everything with tits and a heartbeat. They celebrate losing the ball and chain and enjoy their freedom... but, after about 3 - 6 months they start realizing what they've lost. They realize that their woman is gone... for good... and they start to freak. They've just had what they wanted, tasted that freedom and now they miss the woman so they go crawling back, full force get-back-together-mode. But by this time, the woman has moved on... Think back to your past relationship ladies, the guys we break up with always come back at least one more time after about 3 - 6 months. It's bizaar.. isnt it?
Marni7 Marni7 9 years
"You’ve done some healing and finally started putting yourself out there again, only to get a phone call from your ex" wow..isnt the story of most of our lives..its like they can detect when we are just starting to do ok again! arrggg!
austerity austerity 9 years
Well, definitely not jump right back in! Play hard to get a little in the beginning ;) then, after that I'll assess how truly he wants me back, what were the reasons for breaking up with me back then...it'd have to be a REALLY good story to convince me though.
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