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Handle This: Your Friend Surpasses You

A few months ago, you and a girlfriend decided to finally lose some weight that you've both been complaining about. Since you were both looking to lose pounds within the same range and starting at the same physical activity level, doing it together seems like a great idea.

But now she’s completely surpassed you weight-loss wise, and she's looking amazing. She remains a diligent and motivating partner, but the problem is that every time you guys work out or go to dinner together, you just end up wondering what’s wrong with you. You’re starting to feel more and more jealous and down on yourself so how do you handle this?


Join The Conversation
JaimeLeah526 JaimeLeah526 8 years
I'd probably talk to her about it and tell her how you feel. Maybe you just need some more positive support or maybe she's doing more work outside of what you do together. Don't get upset about it though just keep doing what you're doing and you'll get there eventually.
austerity austerity 8 years
Take it in a healthy competitive spirit! Be happy for her, but girl get back into that gym!
apothecary06 apothecary06 8 years
I personally don't find it as motivating to go on a regimen with a friend - I find it more motivating to take complete ownership of my own efforts, whatever they may be. I know that there are some who do find it motivating to have a partner, but for me it is just a setup for a situation exactly like this.
sparklestar sparklestar 8 years
itsme3683 itsme3683 8 years
Sun-sun, I'm with you there!! Maybe not the most mature thing I could do, but hey, I'm workin' with the motivation thing!
julieulie julieulie 8 years
Ha, ha sounds familiar. At one point back when we were still dating, my husband decided that we should both try to lose some weight, so he decided we should try South Beach. I stuck with it for six weeks -- the first two hardcore weeks, and then slowly introducing things back in -- and worked out six days a week -- and never ever cheated with what I ate. Meanwhile, my husband cheated ALL the time and worked out maybe twice a week. At the end of six weeks, he had lost 18 pounds. I GAINED three. I was not amused.
Frenched Frenched 8 years
That's happened to me before, but with my younger sister. We worked out with the same DVD and I think I even put more effort into it but she ended up losing TWICE as much weight as I did--a lot faster! I still attribute that to the fact that she's 3 years younger than me, therefore her metabolism is probably faster--that and everybody's different and everyone loses weight at a different pace. I didn't keep it from sucking, though ;) I was still happy for her--albeit a bit jealous!
ajennilynrushhh ajennilynrushhh 8 years
everybody's body is different. but for me, instead of feeling jealous it would inspire me to work harder though.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 8 years
I would be happy for her, plain and simple.
princess_eab princess_eab 8 years
ha ha, knowing me, I'd probably stop eating, but that's why I would NEVER get into this situation in the first place because I tend to go much too far...
Seka21 Seka21 8 years
Lol i dont care about others. I am what i am and others progress just makes me inspired to work harder in general. Usually im happy for my friends to achieve their goals. Plus Im not so into this whole losing weight stuff. Im naturally thin and personally hate the thin look. Men like curves. Women look like WOMEN with curves, I feel better when i have more weight.. and as long as your weight is not putting your health in danger.. dont change it. Love it!
CYL CYL 8 years
everyone's body and metabolism is differnet....just love what nature gave you ;)
Kelliegrl Kelliegrl 8 years
I agree puddlesworth. Just try a bit harder. I would also add to stop comparing yourself to someone else.
gemsera gemsera 8 years
it would be inspiring to work harder. I wish I had a workout partner! I would just be grateful for that :)
Sun_Sun Sun_Sun 8 years
i would think its unfair i would probably pout about it and id probably diet and workout harder behind her back :P
elizabethsosewn elizabethsosewn 8 years
i thinkit would just reinforce the midset i have that everybody's body is different and has a different "set weight" it's hard for me to lose or gain weight where I am. gaining is of course easier, but my sister loses eight easily and her weight plateaus around 15 to 20 pounds less than mine. it's just biology and different genetics.
yadiet yadiet 8 years
haha puddlesworth...Harsh. haha
yadiet yadiet 8 years
I dont think you should be jealous of you friend. What you should do is consult your physician. Remember even if you both started together that doesn't mean you have the same body type. Good luck.
puddlesworth puddlesworth 8 years
quit whining and try harder
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