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Handle This: Your Wedding Is Weeks Away, But You Have Doubts

You and your fiancé have been planning your nuptials for nine months. You've had your bridal shower, and everything is booked with all the details in place. But recent fights with your fiancé have led you to see your relationship more clearly than ever. Suddenly you're not sure if this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.

You love your fiancé dearly, but you feel like there are things you've ignored for a while that just aren't working for you. The idea of canceling your wedding is humiliating and terrifying — both sets of parents will be devastated — but you're also scared of making a mistake, so how would you handle this?


Join The Conversation
Lynette159 Lynette159 6 years
My wedding is in about 3 months and I'm having doubts ! My fiancee and I have been together for about 2 years and I feel I need more time before we tie the knot is this normal to have doubts about the huge commitment I know I love him and that he love me he respects me and always tries to make me a better person.... Because of these doubts should I cancel the wedding ???? I'm so confused !!!!!
melizzle melizzle 9 years
Call it off. Take some time apart. It's not worth screwing the rest of your life up because you're worried what other people will think.
emmebeth emmebeth 9 years
One of my friends got married and never told anyone about her massive doubts. 2 weeks after the honeymoon she was cheating on him and has made their lives miserable ever since. I would rather risk embarrassment, and the possibility of making a mistake than be stuck in a marriage I wasn't 100% sure about.
sass317 sass317 9 years
I personally wouldnt say yes to a proposal if I wasnt 100% sure I wanted to marry the guy. I was engaged for 11 months and I never had a microsecond of doubt that he was the man I wanted to marry
RaCheer RaCheer 9 years
When there is doubt, there is NO doubt! You need to listen to your gut/heart!
kayla74 kayla74 9 years
You need to step out of wedding mode and decide whether your recent fights are because you're stressed about the wedding or because you don't want to marry him. If you took away all the wedding junk and it were just the two of you and the officiant, would you still want to marry him?
SomethingWicked SomethingWicked 9 years
talk it would with your guy or with a close friend to see if this is something BIG or if you may be stressing over something quite small. Try writing out the Pro and Con list and if it out weighs on the Con side...then you have your answer. Just be off the wedding till you are and spend some time away from your guy to think things through. This is a big step you don't wanna take with your eyes closed.
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 9 years
Stage a fake kidnapping and run. Oh wait. Someone already tried that didn't they.
LuvLeoDiCaprio LuvLeoDiCaprio 9 years
Do what's best for me and get out of dodge if necessary. Ok I am wanderlusting but I would definitely how to get away for a little bit if I had to cancel my wedding. I am always about doing what's gonna make me happy.
Fallen85 Fallen85 9 years
I'd call my mom and run my issues by her and see what she has to say. She's the smartest woman I know and I guarantee she would support me whether I stayed or went. After speaking to her if I still wanted to run then I would talk to my fiancee and begin arrangements to postpone the wedding indefinitely before cancelling.
apma apma 9 years
If it's not something that can be easily rectified with a conversation or even counseling, I'd absolutely call off the wedding. Despite what people say, love is not all you need.
bransugar79 bransugar79 9 years
I would totally talk to my fiance about my feelings and if we needed to I'd postpone or cancel the wedding all together. I think it's better to be a little emberassed up front and avoid pain down the road. If you aren't sure, BEFORE the wedding is absolutely the best time to find out
jessie jessie 9 years
my sis called off her wedding 3 mos before. alot of the details had been taken care of...people had questions, including me, but all in all it worked out. she's the happiest i've seen her in a long time.
bluebellknoll bluebellknoll 9 years
I would pospone the wedding (or call it off for good) without hesitation. Who cares if it shocks your folks or you're embarrassed - this is the rest of your life! I actually called off my wedding 2 weeks prior and have absolutely no regrets doing so. Thankfully we did not get married and eventually broke up. 10+ years later he still has the same issues that he had back then. I'm positive we would have divorced by now.
cmd0610 cmd0610 9 years
i'm a very bad typer- i meant to say "cold-feet" excuse me for the silly error :D
zabrow zabrow 9 years
i had a friend who called off her wedding three days before & when she called all of her guests, most people were proud of her & told her how great it was that she called it off ahead of time instead of going through with it because of the momentum of the planning & everything. i guess more than a few of her little old lady guests said "GOOD FOR YOU!!" sooo, i'd call it off. it'd feel like a failure at the time, but it'd be soooo much better in the long run if i had any doubts.
Marni7 Marni7 9 years
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! well i've been in a relationship for 4 1/2 years and im prolly in the minority in saying I just dont want to get married anytime soon..too much..I guess the concept scares me a little..even though my parents are still together and all its still makes me crazy..i dont know what i would do if i was in that situation
cmd0610 cmd0610 9 years
Cold-feed is one thing but full on doubt is a whole other story. I would defi talk to me fiance, maybe both of us are just stressed and overwhelmed and of course a life changing even such as this warrants some unexpected feelings/behaviors. But if I were doubting the "for better or for worse" commitment it's better to pull out now then when there kids involved and all that 5, 10 yrs down the road. . .
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