Skip Nav
I Never Thought I'd Allow Myself to Be in a Physically Abusive Relationship — Until I Was in One
9 Ways to Be Better in Bed
The Most Common Mistake Couples Make, According to a Relationship Coach

Handle This: You've Grown Attached to His Family

Handle This: You've Grown Attached to His Family

After dating your boyfriend for just under a year, you’ve realized that he’s not the one for you. You care about him deeply, but the connection you felt initially has vanished.

But as much as you know you should break up, you just can’t bring yourself to do it. You don't want to hurt him, but you really don't want to lose his family. You’re not close with your parents, and since dating your boyfriend, his parents have become your second family. You rely on them for everything and you can’t bear the thought of losing them, so how do you handle this?


Join The Conversation
lilxmissxmolly lilxmissxmolly 9 years
there was a sex & the city episode about this. in the end, you have to break it off
lickety-split lickety-split 9 years
i had this situation and it was very difficult. we had dated for 2 1/2 years and i adored his parents and sisters. i had a room at his parents house, his mom and i went to lunch, talked on the phone almost everyday. i loved his family! they were so wonderful that i think i didn't realize that my boyfriend and i had become more like brother snd sister than boyfriend and girlfriend. it took me a year and a half after that to break it off. i knew i would never find anyone else with a family like that (understatement of the year, lol). he was very hurt and angry when we broke up, and i found out from a friend that he was asking about me at his engagement party. a sad ending to a relationship that was an important part of my life, and i miss his family to this day.
txcowgrl077 txcowgrl077 9 years
So how many more stories are you going to write that depict my life to a t? I just went through this situation.. and I tend to find the ones with perfect families.. but they themselves are too far from perfect to handle. You just have to suck it up. They like you because you make their son happy. That's as far as that relationship can go unfortunately. You have to cut your ties and move on.
Hanna1117 Hanna1117 9 years
I went through this and I called his mom the day I broke up with him to tell her that I had moved out of his place. She told me that she could see it coming, and that she understood. I also apologized for not vaccuming cause she owned his place! :)
cjmara805 cjmara805 9 years
Date his brother jk
K-is-For-Kait K-is-For-Kait 9 years
I dealt with with situation. I had to disconnect with both the bf and his family out of respect for him. However, I do occasionally bump into his siblings and we catch up a little. Oddly enough, getting away from an ex's family is much like getting over an ex. It hurts at first, but it gets better over time.
JaimeLeah526 JaimeLeah526 9 years
I don't think it's fair to him if you blindside him with a breakup (since he doesn't seem to know) and then stay close with his family. By all means call them every once in a while or send letters but don't expect them to meet your new boyfriend or go to your wedding or anything like that. They might not even want anything to do with you if you're not their son's GF.
BeachyAthlete BeachyAthlete 9 years
As my own mother said when I was having problems with my boyfriend but made the excuse that I loved his family like they were my own -- "You're not marrying his family -- you're marrying HIM, and your problems are not going to disappear. Lots of other men also have great families that you can grow close to. Break up."
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 9 years
I would marry him. A nice extended family would definitely make up for a lifetime in a loveless marriage.
zabrow zabrow 9 years
you have to break up with him if you're not feeling it anymore, but you can still keep in contact with the family.
TidalWave TidalWave 9 years
I went through this. My bf and I broke up but even to this day I still communicate with his family, mainly his mother. I send her an e-card on her birthday and I gave his parents an anniversary gift. I haven't visited them or anything, but we do keep in touch. I knew that we had to break up though, and his family understood our situation completely and held no hard feelings toward me.
What Women Want to Hear From Their Partners
The Most Common Mistake Couples Make
Woman With Anxiety Writes Letter to Her Husband
Why You Should Take a Vacation With Your BFF
From Our Partners
Latest Love
All the Latest From Ryan Reynolds