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Has a Male Pursuer Ever Left You Feeling Uncomfortable?

In case you missed it, Uma Thurman has been in court the past few weeks testifying against her stalker, Jack Jordan, who began harassing her in 2005. In an article in the New York Times announcing the guilty verdict, details of both Uma and Jordan's testimonies were revealed. The article writes:

Mr. Jordan testified in his own defense, describing his elaborate visions — which he called the daydreams of an artistic soul — that he was predestined to meet Ms. Thurman and live a happy life with her and her two children. . . . He said he was engaged “in a game of cat and mouse,” with Ms. Thurman, and that he sometimes thought of her as the cat, “courting” him.

I've never encountered someone as persistent and obsessive as this, but my heart goes out to Uma. As a woman, dealing with a man who's overly eager — even in a far more meager capacity — can be pretty terrifying. The men with obsessive and unrelenting behavior whom I've dealt with have always left me feeling violated in some way. Have you experienced something similar? Has a male pursuer ever left you feeling uncomfortable or scared?


michelle-c42934 michelle-c42934 9 years
My first job, there was a guy who wouldn't leave me alone and did some things that made me feel very uncomfortable around him. I resorted to eating my lunch in the toilets alone becuase I was so frightened. If I saw him coming I'd run a mile. Eventually I couldn't put up with it and quit. It was only a part time job anyway.
AujahAcorn AujahAcorn 9 years
i learned fast not to be overly nice to the quite guys. they get all crazy on you. I have had this stuff happen but i cant seem to remember details except that it happened. i tend to block out.
Marci Marci 9 years
I've had a few guys that really creeped me out by popping up a lot or knocking on my door when I never told them where I lived. Or the complete stranger who was able to rattle off my entire subway route to get to work. It's really unnerving and I felt violated and invaded by it.
ashleygaidhlig ashleygaidhlig 9 years
yes, I used to sing in a choir, and one of the ladies in my section brought her husband along to one of our competitions. I only briefly met him, but he somehow got my email address from her mobile, my telephone numbers, and began harassing me, saying he missed me and wanted to go out to dinner! It was so so scary, but luckily its over now. He would find out where I was going to be and when (again, I don't know how) and then ring me up offering to take me there and so on. I told his wife what was happening but that didn't stop him! Weirdo!
pink_magnetism pink_magnetism 9 years
There's been several freaks.
austerity austerity 9 years
No. I'm quite tall and I have a 'don't fuck with me' expression on my face most of the time, so creeps don't dare to come too close :P. However, the ogling I get on the street really sends a chill down my spine sometimes. Especially when it's dark, I try to get out of whichever place has a potential creep. You never know.
ladychaos ladychaos 9 years
lickety split, I definitely know what you mean on the police don't do anything... So Labor Day weekend May 2005, my family was out of town (I live with my parents), and I was house hopping for barbecues that Sunday. This is the same day I catch my then boyfriend in the act of cheating on me with his ex girl. Anyways, I'm leaving a friend's house at like 3 am headed home, on the phone complaining about how much of a tool my ex is, and I notice this car continuously following me. I stopped, pulled aside and turned around, and the car did the same thing. I started to panic, and called 911. They told me if I don't see his headlights anymore to just go home (even though I had just told them that he was definitely following me and that I didn't recognize the car). Just then, the headlights dissapear and the car pulls off to the side. I tell 911 to transfer me to the closest police department because I didn't feel safe enough to go home, and 30 seconds later, the car speeds up behind me riding my bumper. I finally get to the police station, which is at an intersection, where two cops are outside. All the while I'm talking to them, the stalker-guy was sitting at the intersection at a green light, for like 10 minutes. I had to point him out before they did anything. They never took action on the case. Luckily I now have a different car, different hair cut and color, and was in a different city for a couple years for school. That was the scariest night of my life...
Wild-Magelet Wild-Magelet 9 years
"Libraries are hotbeds of psycho stalkers." For sure. I have and have had in the past several student jobs working for the university libraries and it's not uncommon to get the odd nutjob who comes in. I've heard it's the worst in public libraries. I'm so bad at handling it. I end up with the shakes afterwards. :S
emmebeth emmebeth 9 years
I worked at the public library in my town all through high school. There were a few incidents involving stalkers. One guy (a large, mentally ill homeless man) would follow one of my co-workers to a really remote area of the stacks and try to hit on her/kiss her, etc. That same guy would look at porn on the library computers, and leave it up when one of us walked by to monitor computer action. Libraries are hotbeds of psycho stalkers.
emalove emalove 9 years
Oh yeah, I have some stories....I try to leave them all in the past though.
nina24 nina24 9 years
Yes, i met a friendly guy which seemed innocent enough, but the next thing i know he's calling me constantly and the the second time i ran into him he game me a weird love poem that he wrote. It weirded me out and i started ignoring his calls and he left really odd messages. It kept up for months. Whats even weirder is that a year later he became my bf's next door neighbor and now i see him every once in a while and its real awkward since he looks pissed every time he looks at me. what are the odds?
LuxuryAddict LuxuryAddict 9 years
lickety split, wow I'm so sorry to hear that that happened to you :(
LuxuryAddict LuxuryAddict 9 years
There was this one time that I was walking home from school and this guy started walking with me. It was pretty scary cuz at the end of our conversation he started resiting erotic poetry to me... I was only 15 at the time! I bolted quick!
Lyv Lyv 9 years
I never got actually stalked, but there were a couple of guy who were so creepy when hitting on me, I have actual nightmares when I come home, if I run into them.
Bearwoman Bearwoman 9 years
Oh, I forgot the funny part: I got so used to him calling in the night that one night someone called with hidden caller i.d. and breathed heavily, I was so sleepy and out of it that I just said: "Is this the same guy that always calls or is this a new one?" Haw! That shut him up! Also: Once I got a breather and I just breathed right back in a fast, mocking, kind of way. That put a cork in that panting doggy too. Feel free to use ether line to get rid of pesky phone pervs, ladies.
Bearwoman Bearwoman 9 years
Ugh. Tomatoelady: That one wins. Hands down. Although "LuckyMe" doesn't have a nickname to match her story. Haw! I met a guy at a bar when I was twenty. He knew my name, my friends' names, my favorite books, movies, music... (This is pre-Myspace, for me at least). He kept insisting that he had met me at my favorite bar an that I had told him all of those things. I didn't remember any of that, let alone seeing him before, but I just chalked it up to a night of too much Stella. He said he wanted my number and I reluctantly gave it to him after making it VERY clear that I was not looking for anything except friendship. Anyway, he starts sending me all these sappy messages until I ask him politely to back-off a bit. He goes into total defense mode. Accuses me of being a "tease" and is generally unpleasant when I meet him. Ok, long story short: He calls me with hidden caller i.d. for three years! At first it was every other weekend until at the end it was just every couple of months. Usually I didn't answer, but when I did (to tell him to fuck off and get a life) he wouldn't say anything, so as not to incriminate himself if I tried to report him to the cops. I know it was him. He still gives me creepy looks and the occasional aggressive comment when I see him.
lickety-split lickety-split 9 years
yes. he broke into my car and jacked off twice, called and left perverted messages, sent flowers to my office, followed me everywhere, i'd be on a date and he's be there "oh hello! can i join you? how do you 2 know each other", it was horrible. the final straw was when he came to my condo late at night. we lived in a security building and my room mate had just gone to the atm, so when there was a knock at the door i thought it was her. but it was the stalker. he had on those nylon shorts and no underware and was telling me how we were meant to be together. lucky for me my roommate saw his car (it was like a 1950 classic, very easy to spot) and she came back up. she started screaming at him and i picked up the phone to call the police and he left. the police did nothing. so my dad, a very patient and non-violent man, paid him a visit and that was the end of it. not sure what was said. he was so weird. i'm sure he just moved on to stalk someone else. people like that don't change.
imLissy imLissy 9 years
I had an online stalker my second year of college. I put my school mailing address on my website so my friends could send me christmas cards. I got an e-mail one day telling me to check my box. I was expecting like a card or stickers or something. No, it was a box of presents, for Elissa "Cooper" which was my made up last name. After trying to explain to the guy at the post office that I was the same person, I got the box and opened it. $50 worth of stuff and a long letter from some guy I didn't know, basically telling me his life story and how he thought I was so great. I e-mailed him and told him this was creepy as hell and he apologized. I agreed to be friends b/c my roommate/best friend left school that semester and I was very lonely. He sent me another present for valentines day and I yelled at him for that too. For the most part, he was pretty harmless though. Aside from telling me he loved me when we never actually even spoke before. I finally cut him off the summer after when he sent a birthday present to my home address that I had never given him. And his dad was a psychologist who told him that I was the nut!
karlotta karlotta 9 years
My first love became schizophrenic a couple of years after breaking up with me, and started calling me when he was off his meds, convinced we were getting married. 15 years later, he's still calling. And it's always the same thing, when I ask him to stop calling and explain that I live with someone else: "but you told me you would ALWAYS love me!!!" - really self-righteous and indignant. Dude, I was 16 years old. OF COURSE I told you I would always love you!
killertomato killertomato 9 years
Ok, this is going to sound like I made it up, except for it is basically too crazy to make up. Around fifteen years ago, when I was in my early twenties, I had a job as a waitress at an IHOP in Atlanta. We had to wear the blue dress with the puffy sleeves and apron, etc. When I first started at this place, I worked the 3-11 pm shift. Around once a week, a guy would come in and have steak and eggs. He was a normal looking guy, mid thirties, no creepy vibe whatsoever. In fact, although we had a few conversations, he never really seemed to flirt with me, and I assumed he was gay or married. One of the conversations we had, I told him how I had moved to Atlanta from MA after graduating from college. Then this guy doesn't come in for, I don't know, several months. In the mean time, I move to the day shift. One Sunday morning, which is obviously the busiest possible time at an IHOP, he shows up. He waits over an hour to sit in my section, even though other tables become available. When he sits down, he wants to chat, which I really can't do, because I am completely in the weeds, but I ask where he has been, out of politeness. Well. He proceeds to tell me that he "took my advice" (I never gave him any!) and drove to Montana, randomly, and slept in his truck for four months. He goes on to say that while he was out there, he had a lot of time to think (because he was basically homeless, I guess) and he is forty years old and wants a son to carry on his name, but he needs a woman to bear this child, and he thinks I would be the ideal candidate. He has a plan where he would get a job as a caretaker in a campground or something and we could live in a trailer on the campground. I could not process this. At all. It was so bizarre and out of context. I told him to meet me after my shift was over and we could talk. This was stupid, but I young and naive and confused. When my shift was over, there he was in the parking lot. He basically retold me this insane story, and I told him I wasn't interested and he left and I never saw him again. I seriously wonder what ever happened to that guy, and if he ever did end up fathering a child. What a nut!
runnergeek runnergeek 9 years
geez luckyme..that's gross and scary!
kikidawn kikidawn 9 years
Yeah I had this guy I 'dated' in middle school (5th grade) well he thought we were 'destined' to be. Well, he changed schools and I never thought about him again. Then when I was in 10th grade or so he sent me a letter. He had joined the military and decided to send me some of his patches he had earned. He told me he still thought about me and loved me! :OY: I never talked to him again or wrote him or anything. Then about 6 months ago (I'm in my 2nd year of college now and in a 5 year relationship) there is a car that pulls up at my parents' house ... only my mom and sister are home (it was late at night). The car pulls through our circle drive several times. Then it pulled through our other drive that goes to the back at the house where there are no lights on. Scared my mom and sister so they called the police. Well, his car then pulls out and leaves ...the police see him and pull him over and it's my 5th grade bf home on leave... and smashed! Not even close to being legal enough to drive. He had on his uniform and came to my house (only I didn't live there anymore) to show off to me and try to get me to date him again I guess. Boy that was scary!!!
Shopaholichunny Shopaholichunny 9 years
Gawd that's gross luckyme! EWWWW
luckyme luckyme 9 years
Runnergeek, you reminded me of another one. When I was in high school my best friend and I used to sit behind this very odd guy in one of our classes. We were always pretty nice to him (unlike everyone else) and apparently that was misconstrued. She was walking by his locker one day and he had a picture up of the two of us, one that we did not know that he took. We still sat behind him in class, that is until he started to masturbate in front of us. Yeah, say it with me "EWWWWWWWW."
MissMeow MissMeow 9 years
I once got involved with a much older man. It was stupid, and I regretted it soon after it started. When we ended things, he kept calling me, telling me that he would think about what it would be like to be with me. He still does this every couple months or so, but since I haven't seen him in years, I just ignore him or cut the conversation short. Its just creepy.
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