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Have You Ever Eased Out of a Relationship?

Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel dated for five years so there's no doubt in my mind that their breakup has been extremely tough on both of them. Although their reps say that they remain good friends, they were caught holding hands over the weekend. But since they were not only lovers, but also each other's best friend, I can only imagine how hard it must be to suddenly have that person out of your life. It makes it perfectly reasonable that they would want to spend time together post-breakup. They are denying a reconciliation but it's pretty obvious that they aren't ready to completely let go of one another. So have you ever eased out of a relationship like this? Have you ever desired to spend time with your ex simply out of comfort or familiarity?


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haelmore haelmore 8 years
I dated my best friend from high school through college, then we broke up 6 weeks before graduation. We continued to hang out a lot until we graduated, then over the summer I became really bitter and didn't say a nice word to him for a year and a half. We talk occasionally now (and I'm nice to him again), and even though I know objectively that we can't be together, the loss of his friendship still hurts me everyday. That said, I don't regret dating him because if I hadn't, I think there always would have been that "what if..." nagging me.
Advah Advah 8 years
Yes - biggest mistake I've ever made. Actually delete that, the biggest mistake I've ever made was dating him in the first place, I lost one of my best friends and my respect for him. :(
herjoiedevivre herjoiedevivre 8 years
I'm doing that right now. I dated a guy for three years, and we're best friends, even though being together, we brought out the worst in each other. but we're still hanging out. it's so hard to change your way of life when your way of life was THEM, and if you're both decent ppl and have no reason to hate each other, you still want to see each other. He does bring me comfort and familiarity but most of all when I broke up with him, I was afraid I'd lose a best friend. And what I miss is HIM. So when I hang out with him, I'm just with him, not to pretend like something's what it's not. lol, do I sound defensive? I don't mean to.
sparklestar sparklestar 8 years
My last long term breakup we didn't speak for about 3 months afterwards, now we're friends again. I had one boyfriend for 2.5 yrs and we did ease out of it. We carried on behaving like girlf/boyf for another 9 or so months after the initial breakup. It was an emotional hell!
whatthew00t whatthew00t 8 years
It's weird for me and my ex. After we broke up, we talked on and off. It took me a while to get over the break up. I began to focus on my self-esteem by working hard in my studies and making friends. I also managed to get into another relationship. However, I think it's still hard on him to ease out of our romantic relationship. I try to not talk to him unless he IMs me online. But in a recent conversation, I asked him what did he think of our relationship. He said that he still misses it sometimes. He has trouble finding a girl yet he doesn't really want to be in a relationship. I feel like he's still a little stuck in the post-break phase. All I could really do is just avoid talking to him for now.
pippins_halfling pippins_halfling 8 years
Yeah, I'm sort of doing that now. We don't hang out as often, and when we talk, our conversations aren't as personal anymore... It's hard because he was my best friend for years before we got involved. He is/was my best friend.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 8 years
No. However, I've eased out of FRIENDSHIPS, but not a romantic relationship.
tlsgirl tlsgirl 8 years
I have before, which makes me even more sure that a clean break is best.
moonwater moonwater 8 years
I say a clean break is the best. Friendship with an ex only works if both parties have moved on, really moved on.
ilanac13 ilanac13 8 years
well i usually do the cold turkey thing for a while so that i can get distance, but for the most part, i think that i'm able to be friendly with exes after things end. i kind of hope that this couple gets back together though - when you've heard about their relationship for so long - you just want a happy ending for them, and it doesn't seem like they will be as happy if they aren't together. (but i'm just an outsider so i can't really say anything)
cfp cfp 8 years
I did the drawn-out thing with one boyfriend who I had known since childhood. He had a lot of problems (eg- cheating on me and dealing with alcoholism) and so it was too hard for me at first to completely break with someone that I knew needed my help. But eventually it got to the point where I couldn't live my life (I had moved to a new city) because he called me so often because he "needed my help" so I had to go my own way. Sad, but I am so much happier this way.
lauraxtc lauraxtc 8 years
Yes I dated my ex for 6 years. we lived together he was my best friend. my everything to be more exact. we would break up to make up and during the break up, we would hang out and try to pretend but we couldn't help ourselves. Eventually all that got old and we ran out of love :( its hard because they have seen you grow up and they were the ones you trusted the most, the ones you could be yourself with. The ones that would complete you. To have that taken away was like killing me and still living without any emotions. I miss him but I know its for the best. We broke up 2 months ago. =( I changed my number and made a pact to myself to not contact him. I would only be hurting myself. I have been strong so far. He did contact me for my bday and just to hear it from my friend that he contacted her to wish me a happy birthday made me feel so happy to know that he cared. But still, I refuse to go back. i will always love him though. :'(
Deidre Deidre 8 years
Did the slow let go with my college boyfriend, we hung out a lot senior year due to a big group of shared friends. I learned my lesson on this, and made a clean break with subsequent exes. Trying to be friends immeditately afterward is just not a good idea -- one party is bound to want to fall back into the relationship, while the other one thinks the friendship is moving along perfectly. It really just prolongs hurt feelings. I wouldn't recommend this route to anyone (from my own experience and that of many of my friends). You can be civil/courteous in group situations, but you really both need time to get over a break up. Can you be friends again eventually? Sure, but only after some time apart.
yadiet yadiet 8 years
It sucks when you have moved in with this person and have no where else to go because of $$ situations. But growing apart is what is currently happening to me. And its so hard just to pack my things and walk out never turning around. ::signs::really hard.. I wish life came with a cheat book. To show you how to avoid situations like these. When you feel useless to the world..
psterling psterling 8 years
I believe in a clean break. I once dating a guy who broke up with me but we had to continue to see each other socially for about a month afterwards because his best friend was dating my sister. I think that made it harder to let go. I think people should just rip the band-aid! You have plenty of other friends to lean on!
Mesayme Mesayme 8 years
I only ease out when they threaten suicide. *sigh* they all do. Won't live for me but die...will do. :OY: Now, I know. Just walk away. It sounds cold but after what I've been through, I'd probably see him at my door and say 'aren't you dead yet?' They try to control you with it and it's gets VERY old. One guy was even living with a girlfriend he cheated on me with...still calling me. :o YES!(that's MUCH better!):IRK:
rossinaross rossinaross 8 years
Yes it happened to me before, and it's happening to my best friend right now. It's SO hard to let go after years of relationship because youre so used to them, and your life includes them on it, so after every break up you have to change the way of life. I've done the stupid post-break-up thing, and it's not good, it just confusses you even more. You start thinking 'Why did I even break up with him?' when you know why you did it. It's even worse I think if the guy broke up with you. I say don't do it.
nheart nheart 8 years
Yup. Still am doing it. It's sooooo hard to completely let go to someone you still have such strong respect and love for. We're not a couple, but we both still love each other and don't want to completely let go. Luckily, it's not stopping me from living my own life.
Lele777 Lele777 8 years
It's never a good idea!
bluestar bluestar 8 years
Yep, we started hanging out again, out of comfort. Then I started wanting more again and broke it off. It's NOT a good idea!
platinum89 platinum89 8 years
my ex and i dated for 4 years... about at 3 1/2 years i found out he cheated on me.. and after 3 1/2 years the phrase "you made me do it" doesn't quite cut it.. and neither did not wanted to talk about it and to forget that the "mistake" ever happened. I ended up staying with him for 6 more months, not because i thought he would change (in fact, it got worse; accusing me of finding him unattractive, asking why i didn't call earlier on in the day... very insecure things), but to ease myself out of it. The worse it got the more it gave me fire to end it. After i ended it i wanted to just talk about everything, he didn't. then one day at school he came up and hugged me, 3 months after we broke up with no contact what so ever; got mad at why i refused to hug back... haven't talked ever since... and i'm quite happy with everything right now, and i dont think i can ever talk to him again.
bbkf bbkf 8 years
My ex-boyfriend and I dated for 4 years, but just kind of grew apart. We remained friends after we decided to start dating other people.
princess_eab princess_eab 8 years
No, it's worked out better for us to hate each other, apparently.
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