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Have You Ever Experienced a Post-Holiday Breakup?

If there's no great time for a breakup, right now would be a good time. The holidays are over, and there is still time before Valentine's Day. Parting ways now spares the unwilling partner from going through the lovey-dovey motions of Feb. 14. And while it might be hard for the dumpee to face the romantic holiday, who wants to celebrate Valentine's Day with someone who's not fully committed to the relationship?

Has this ever happened to you? Feel free to share your experience in the comments.

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robinlh912 robinlh912 7 years
First real boyfriend like 2 or 3 days before Valentine's Day. Luckily I had some great friends who took me out to lunch the next day to help keep my mind off things. Oh high school!
dexaholic dexaholic 7 years
Veka, that's the same thing that happened to me. He just shut down and wouldn't talk to me. He would barely look at me. I guess that's a warning to all you girls out there - if you boyfriend/fiance/husband starts to become distant and ignore you, look out!! And thanks Mix Tape. I'm surprising myself at how well I'm handling all this. Maybe it's because I have been anticipating the breakup for so long. I'm definitely excited for what is to come! Thankfully I'm only 30 and have my whole life ahead of me!!
Veka Veka 7 years
Yes, this happened to me 2 years ago. I was with my boyfriend for 16 months, and we ended up breaking up on the day AFTER Valentines Day. And it was the worst Valentines day I'd ever had. Things had been rocky in our relationship for a little over a month, but I had no idea why. It was so bad that he moved out and we were living separately for that last month. I was even going to counseling because I was becoming depressed. He had changed significantly but I couldnt figure him out. He had some emotional issues from a trauma before I met him and he carried his depression with him. Vday was a Thursday and he had class which was an hour and a half away from my house. He told me that he wasnt sure if he wanted to come over that night (he waited too long to make a dinner reservation so I offered to cook at my house) to which I insisted that he spend time with me, his girlfriend, on valentines day. I told him I could cook at his house, which he declined and said (with an attitude) that he would just come over. So he came over, slept on the couch the entire evening while I cooked. He woke up to eat, and went back to sleep. I practically had to beg an "I love you" out of him. Oh and he didn't get me anything - not a card, nothing. (This is also a big giveaway that something was amiss because he used to spend a LOT of money on me for holidays.) Next morning he was in the shower so I decided to go through his text messages (which I admit was wrong but I'm glad I did it because it was the final straw to convince me to end things with him) and found plenty of texts that I wish I had never read. It made my stomach turn into knots. I walked into the bathroom while he was still in the shower and told him to get the F out of my house. I haven't spoken to him since that day almost two years ago and have been happy ever since.
missyd missyd 7 years
My very first love (I lost my virginity to him, I was fairly young) and I had been together over a year. His family had to move away to another province; taking him with them. We swore we'd do the long distance thing - and we did, only for him to call me on CHRISTMAS DAY and brreak up with me. I cried so hard for days I thought I was going to die. I eventually got over it, that was many years ago, but it is still one of those things that will always linger with me. I still think about that from time to time and feel pain.
starbucks2 starbucks2 7 years
starbucks2 starbucks2 7 years
How do you make out with 3 girls? That sounds exhausting!! My relationship have always begun in late summer and ended in early summer. Don't ask me why!
mix-tape mix-tape 7 years
I'm sorry dexaholic! I think you are lucky- lucky to have loved at least once in your life (many people don't get to experience that type of passion) and lucky that you didn't dedicate the rest of your life to this selfish jerk! You sound very grounded in your thoughts so I trust that you will recover in due time. One day you will meet a man that will love you and eventually you will feel secure with that relationship. Stay strong.
mix-tape mix-tape 7 years
I broke up before the holidays. I'd prefer that rather than waiting til it's over and gifts have been exchanged.
dexaholic dexaholic 7 years
Some of you ladies might remember a post on the Group Therapy page back in October from a girl who was thinking of breaking up with her boyfriend of 14 years.  Well, that was me.   I did it, with the help of your awesome advice. I told him everything I had been thinking and feeling over the last couple years, and I gave him back the ring. It was a really, really tough week. Then he came to me and told me he loved me and that he really wanted to work together to make our relationship better. I agreed. He said a lot of things that I had wanted him to say for a long time.   So the next couple months were great. Or better. We talked a lot about everything, went out and did things together, started dating again.  Then New Years hit and he started to shut down on me again. He said he wasn't feeling good and went to bed while I went out with his cousins to celebrate.  The next day he was really quiet and kept to himself. Then he told me he wanted to talk to me. He said that he didn't think things were working out. That neither of us were really trying. (For the record, I was trying. I would put a lot of effort in to making plans only to have him turn down most of them.) Regardless, we agreed that we had fallen out of love, and decided it would be best if we broke up.  The next few days were awful. I went back to work after the holidays and was constantly asked "so how was your holiday!?", only to have to answer that my boyfriend and I weren't together anymore. Thankfully I am surrounded by strong, intelligent women who were willing to offer me support in whatever way I needed it.  Then, a few more days after that, he dropped the bomb: he had been cheating on me for over a year.  That changed everything. I started to question whether or not I had actually fallen out of love with him, or if it was just that he was doing everything in his power to push me away, anything for him to justify that his actions were ok in his mind. He can't tell my why he did it, or how he could do that to me. It's so weird for me to think that this man that I have known for 14 years was capable of something like this. I always thought he was better than that, but I guess I was wrong.  I know that none of this is my fault. And I know I certainly didn't deserve to be treated the way he treated me. Used me to cook his meals and do his laundry and clean, to have unlimited access to my car. I asked him why, after I gave him back the ring, he said he wanted to work on things. Why didn't he just let it end then? He said it was because he thought we really could  make it work. Ha, right.  It has only been just over a week since all this happened. I cried a heck of a lot. I was angry, sad and hurt. But I think I am mostly just disappointed. I mean, I knew somewhere in my mind that things wouldn't work out, but I never expected any of this. Sorry for the long post! Thanks for listening. 
xtinasf xtinasf 7 years
I haven't but I've seen a lot of couples having some trouble after the holidays or to the point of break up.. (wait now that I think about it. I broke up and moved out sometime after the holidays -it was a bad,unhealthy relationship- I just waited, cause well, we always "hope" that the situation (him) will change. It only took me a few weeks to get the courage to brake up and move out.. and the fact that it's very difficult to find a pet friendly within a short period of time in SF.
tarabara1229 tarabara1229 7 years
Yoga, I don't know if I should describe your story as horrible, funny, or awesome (or maybe all three?). At least you got some revenge!
Yogaforlife Yogaforlife 7 years
I think I got this one hands down. I was dating a guy (serbian soccer player with a very sexy accent). His birthday happened to be Valentine's Day. His roommates decided to have a big Valentine's Day party/birthday party. Of course I'm there, I mean it is VDay and his birthday and I am his girlfriend. I walk into the hallway heading back to the bathroom, and he's making out with 3 girls - WTF! 1-2-3 blonde girls! Do you think I flipped? Hell yeah! He told me he wanted to break up with me and didn't know how to do it. So he made out with 3 girls on valentine's day while I was in the next room, like that would make it easier? I passed on a warning to the girls about him having a small penis and don't bother thinking you'll get off because you won't feel a thing and it will be over before you know it.
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