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He Hasn't Changed His Facebook Relationship Status

Group Therapy: He Hasn't Changed His Facebook Relationship Status

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I've been with my boyfriend for about two months. He has yet to change his Facebook relationship status from single to in a relationship. I have never had my relationship status up on my page. Should I bring it up to him?

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skigurl skigurl 6 years
this might be old news by now, but i'll give you my two cents: my fiance never goes on facebook, and i'm surprised he even still has it. he will go months at a time not going on it...he also told me the other day that he never even bothered to look through my pictures when we first started dating - he is NOT the active facebooker type and he doesn't feel it affects our relationship whatsoever...but he was the one who raised (about 10 days after we started dating) "are you going to change your facebook status?" (and i didn't have one at the time) and i thought it was so cute, so we put "in a relationship with..."...we were 25 at the time, mature, and knew our relationship was the real deal. we weren't doing it to show off. it's just a fact...if you're dating, you're dating. so why lie to your fb friends about that? i would bring it up too, and don't let people tell you you're being silly. if he changes it happily then he's legit. if he puts up a fuss or takes the status off, he's just not that into you and is trolling for ass
danakscully64 danakscully64 6 years
If it makes you feel any better, my ex still has his Facebook to "In a Relationship" because he doesn't use it. We broke up 4 months ago. I think just casually bring it up, it's not a huge deal.
theCatsPajamas theCatsPajamas 6 years
if you're dating him, it's probably ok to... you know, TALK to him.
kurniakasih kurniakasih 6 years
Mention it to him if this bothers you so much. He may not the type who's making that extra effort to keep things updated on hiS FB page. Speaking of which, I need to put 'married' in my facebook profile, I just didn't put 'married' because I assume ALL of my friends on that website already know I am (based on my different last name).
atraditionalist atraditionalist 6 years
If he's on facebook even semi-often taht would be one of the first things he would want to change to proclaim taht he was with you. The fact that he's not is a red flag. Put yours up as single and see what he has to say about that
looseseal looseseal 6 years
wildsngrny brings up a good point: have you even had "the talk" about making your relationship an exclusive one? Until you've expressly made it clear to each other that you want to only date each other, neither of you can really assume that's what's going on. If he doesn't think it's that serious yet, it's fair enough he's not putting that in his status. Don't assume the passage of time somehow magically makes it official. Don't try to guess at it by how he treats you (it would certainly give you important clues, but guessing doesn't make it so). Whether you're really in a relationship is something you have to talk about and agree on. Maybe this doesn't sound very romantic, but it sure does avoid a lot of misunderstandings compared to playing the guessing game.
TheBestRedDress TheBestRedDress 6 years
So there was this book and movie called "He's just not that into you"...
wildsngrny wildsngrny 6 years
Nah--it's only been two months. And you don't have your status posted at all, so... If you are still together after like, six months and are exclusive and serious? Then it might be time for "the talk." Until then, if he's only into you, I'd say it's not a big deal.
LittleMzFit LittleMzFit 6 years
It seems to me that if he was nuts about you, he'd change it on his own. Don't dwell on it & don't say anything to him. Just try to enjoy the relationship & see how it plays out. Just my 2 cents!
Pistil Pistil 6 years
I would suggest doing so in an email or text message. Fail proof communication.
BriannaLovesKaty BriannaLovesKaty 6 years
Relationship*
BriannaLovesKaty BriannaLovesKaty 6 years
I think you should just ask him 'Why is your relation status still on single?' maybe he didn't realize =]
looseseal looseseal 6 years
Hey, plenty of people past 35 are on Facebook. My mom, my mentor from a past job... The only age limit Facebook has is the "nobody under 13" one (which people are breaking with impunity). Not everyone on Facebook plays the games, collects 4320 "friends", post pictures of themselves drunk, and update people on every one of their bowel movements. A lot of social groups use it to update members on what's going on. Yeah, even social groups that are mostly made up of people over *gasp* 35. I can see a legitimate reason for her to be worried. It's one thing if his relationship status is hidden. But when it's publicly shown as "single", and especially if he also shows that he's "interested in women" and looking for "a date/a relationship", that's like hanging a huge sign that says "here ladies, come and get it". Like Skitterpuppy mentioned, there are people who treat Facebook like a dating service. Some married men go on it to find hook ups. Guys who are only dating using it to troll for more tail wouldn't exactly shock me. That said, no need to get too worried at this point. It is completely possible he just doesn't pay attention to these things. Do bring it up. His reaction might tell you a lot about whether he simply didn't notice or if he's purposefully keeping his FB profile that way.
Pistil Pistil 6 years
Remember when your relationship status wasn't advertised to the world via social networking sites? I do. Those were the days.
Studio16 Studio16 6 years
*I clicked post before I was done. Anyway...that's just my opinion. If you love Facebook and your boyfriend's lack of a relationship status worries you, then yes, by all means you should bring it up to him. However, I wouldn't make a big deal out of it or keep pushing it.
Studio16 Studio16 6 years
I'm sorry, and I'm not trying to hurt any feelings here, but honestly, I think you need to grow up a little bit. It's Facebook. It's an online social tool. First of all, I don't even think that people past college age should still be on Facebook (there's just something about 35 year olds playing Farmville that rubs me the wrong way - not saying you're 35 or playing Farmville, just saying, it's weird). Second of all, who worries about making relationships public except for teenagers?
Skitterpuppy Skitterpuppy 6 years
Maybe I just assume the worst but my boyfriend ( now husband) was a total douchey player when we met ( yes sometimes people can change) and he always had FB but I didn't till bout 2ish months into the relationship. And he sent me messages like WTF now you got fb? But it took him forever to add me. His status was still single and his friends were alot of girls with inappropriate photos and they left rather inappropriate messages on his wall. So yea. He was keeping his options open. And it was a big deal. And we fought about it and I called him out on it. Needless to say, we don't have FB anymore. What I hate is that some people are like 'Dont let fb status define you' and sure. But I've experienced that sometimes guys do it for a reason. If it's ' not a big deal' then do it. If the girls are just 'friends', then it shouldn't be a problem. And you have a right to call him out on it. Mention it casually first but if he bulks there might be something up. Just sayin'. Good luck.
Helen-Danger Helen-Danger 6 years
Nothing to worry about. Just let him know FB is important to you and that eventually you'd like the both of you to calibrate your statuses to match up. Mention it in passing. Don't get into a big discussion about it because that will sound to him like you're pressuring him to get on the computer and change it NOW or else you're going to have a cow.
Epicdoodle Epicdoodle 6 years
Some people don't even know that people can see their relationship status, some people don't log on very often and even if your boyfriend does log on often maybe hes just on fb to catch up with his friends, hes probably not bothered or doesn't remember to change his personal info because really its not that important or big of a deal. FB relationship statues don't really mean anything. I haven't change my personal info on fb in like forever whether I'm in a relationship or not, its not that I'm not into the guy, its just not something I think is important. You know hes into you if he treats you right, likes spending time with you, takes you out in public and introduces you to his friends & family as his girlfriend not whether or not he changes his FB relationship status.
VioletBloom VioletBloom 6 years
You should wait and see. Don't try to push it. But I can I understand why you are a bit worried. See, if his status was hidden, then I wouldn't worry. But since it isn't and it says single then I can why it's bothering you. Like what some of the above posters said, it could be because he hasn't logged on or maybe he doesn't even realize his relationship status on fb if he's not really into fb. But if it's been a couple of months and you ask, and he doesn't change, you should be worried. It could mean he's not that into you. But like I said, just wait a little longer and see how it goes. Good luck!
Gdeeaz Gdeeaz 6 years
I agree with Rasberry. If he takes you out to meet his friends and family then it doesn't really matter what his facebook status is. Some people like to limit the information they put on the internet.
gamergal gamergal 6 years
Some guys don't even go on their Facebook pages in two months. And just because Facebook doesn't say "youre in a relationship with..." doesn't mean the relationship isn't real. I wouldn't make a big deal about it, but if it means a lot to you to have your status displayed, then you can always mention it to him. He won't know it bothers you if you don't say anything.
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