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This or That: He's Hating or He's Crushing?

This or That: He's Hating or He's Crushing?

Things have been going extremely well with your new beau. In fact, you've been spending four nights a week at his apartment, and it's been as easy as can be. The only negative is that his roommate kind of gives you a strange vibe that you just can't put your finger on. You've mentioned it to your boyfriend, but of course, he doesn't notice anything; it doesn't help that his roommate is one of his oldest and dearest friends. Would it be worse if . . .

One day you come over to find your boyfriend upset because his roommate is making him choose between you and him? He won't reveal the specifics of what his roommate complained about, but he said he's moving out if you don't stop coming over.

Or . . .

You receive an unexpected email from his roommate telling you that he's in love with you? He asks you not to tell your boyfriend because he doesn't want to create a problem, but he feels like he'd always regret not telling you how he really feels.


Join The Conversation
senojoy senojoy 9 years
To me it would be worse if he had a crush on me. People are saying that crushes fade and they're easily dealt with, but that's not always the case. When I was in high school I had a crush on this guy from freshman year all the way through til I graduated. I think I saw him like a year later and I was like damn he is still fine. You saying something to the roommate isn't going to make his feelings go away just like that. The guy that I had a crush on had a girlfriend and instead of me not liking him anymore, I began to dislike her just because she was with him. Thank goodness I've grown up since then, but anyway, dislike is something that can be managed especially if he's a good friend to my bf. We would just have to all sit down and have a conversation. We could make some sort of compromise to where I wouldn't be over there so much. Maybe my bf and I could go to my house or actually go do something instead of just sitting over at his house every other night. And if he's unwilling to come to a compromise or rationally explain his disdain, then I would have to tell my bf that he might want to rethink who he calls a friend if this guy can't at least put aside some of his dislike for the sake of his best friend's happiness.
Matdredalia Matdredalia 9 years
I could deal with him crushing. Making my boyfriend choose would be godawful, though. If he had feelings for me, we could work with that and deal with it.
geebers geebers 9 years
Oops I chose wrong- I chose that it would be worse if he was crushing but I MEANT it would be worse if he was hating. That must be what the others did too because I see that has more votes.
gigill gigill 9 years
Urgh, for me it would be worse if he was crushing. I'm awful at dealing with awkwardness and knowing that the relationship would probably crumble because of it.
Le-Luxe Le-Luxe 9 years
I picked hating, it would be worse if he hated you. If he had a crush on you, you could obviously thwart that.
kgtg1 kgtg1 9 years
The question is "Which is worse?" not "Which would you prefer?"
mlen mlen 9 years
i agree- crushing is something that can fade- the whole choosing thing would become a sticky situation that i could be on the losing end of!
pink-elephant pink-elephant 9 years
what's that old saying guys have? "Bros before hos?" I don't think I could handle him having to choose between his best friend or me. that's why I chose crushing.
iRose iRose 9 years
The question asked which would be worse, it would definately be making the bf choose. A crush is something that can be easily taken cae of.
RockAndRepublic RockAndRepublic 9 years
He's probably annoyed that you wont get the hell out of the apartment that isn't even yours. Hell, i would be too.
Meike Meike 9 years
Definitely the latter. In fact there won't be any awkwardness because I would simply and clearly communicate this message to his best friend, "Sorry, I'm not interested. I love my boyfriend and you need to be a better friend to him."
Lambsauce Lambsauce 9 years
Definitely crushing... I would never wish my boyfriend choose between his best friend and me.
jennifer76 jennifer76 9 years
Definitely crushing. Crushes fade, when someone doesn't like you they usually just don't like you.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 9 years
He's crushing, only because I would know the real reason for his behavior. That way, we could work on it constructively. In the other scenario, he wouldn't reveal his reason, and my boyfriend and I would be kept in the dark. I hate being kept in the dark. JMHO.
pippins_halfling pippins_halfling 9 years
I would rather have things be awkward than have him choose between us. Best friend or girlfriend? Hard choice. It wouldn't be something anyone should have to choose between, anyway.
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