I am going to move in with my boyfriend of four months. We both are really excited and often say how right this feels. He says that I am the love of his life. The problem is that during the first couple of weeks of dating, I found out that he made out with another girl. I know this as fact, but he won't admit it. After fighting for two straight weeks, I decided just to let it go.
But really, in my head I can't let it go. (I know this is bad) but I went onto his myspace page and read his e-mails. As it turns out, the same time that this girl was over, he was e-mailing a bunch of other girls as well. I also saw that he had e-mailed with his ex girlfriend and told her that he thought they were meant for each other.
When I saw this, I almost puked! I know that since this was very early on in the relationship there may be nothing to freak out about, but I still can't help it. I don't trust him 100% but I am in a bit of a pickle since I can't really admit that I hacked into his myspace account.
He is very sensitive and cries often about how I don't trust him. He says that he is so happy in our relationship and that he can't wait for us to move in together. I don't know what to do, everything is going really well, but the messages still haunt me. What should I do? Unsure Ulyssa
To see DEARSUGAR's answer read more
Dear Unsure Ulyssa
Trust is a deal breaker. If you don't have it you'll never be happy with him. One ugly day, these e-mails are going to come up and you are both going to get very angry, The unfortunate part for you is that your boyfriend now has his own point of contention. He may say something about why he can't trust you, knowing you've snuck onto his e-mail account and read his private messages.
You've got to lay all of your cards on the table and confront the situation head on if you ever want to move past it. Ask him about the e-mails that you read right after you admit to and apologize for what you've done.
If you can work through this and get past the lying and the anger, then you've got a chance. Ask yourself if you are capable of ever really forgiving and forgetting. But, if you don't think you can honestly trust him again, then I recommend terminating the relationship before you move in together and become more deeply involved.