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He Stopped Calling

"I Can't Tell If He's Still Interested"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I met this guy at my roommate Alice's party. We flirted, chatted back and forth, and it was cute. He said he had to leave, so I gave him a hug, and he walked out of my apartment. Literally 30 seconds later, he came back inside and asked me to walk him downstairs to where he'd parked his motorbike. We walked and talked a little more, and he offered me a ride around the block on his bike — which I took, holding him a little tighter than normal. Afterward, he dropped me off at my apartment and asked me for my number, then kissed me on the cheek.

The next day, my other roommate, Becca, told me that Alice had been super into this guy. So I decided to send him a text, saying that I thought he was great, but a friend of mine was really into him so it wouldn't be right to see him again. He was OK with it, but said that he'd still like to see me again.


In the meantime, Alice and I talked, and she told me that she was over this guy, that she thought he'd be perfect for me, and then gave me the go-ahead. I texted him back, we flirted back and forth, and he asked if he could take me out on a date. I kind of hesitated because I still wasn't 100 percent sure that I wanted to go on a date with my best friend's old crush, even if she said she was cool with it. I told him he could take me on another motorbike ride and we'd go from there. He said deal, and that was that.

Three days later, I hadn't heard from him, so I shot him a text just saying hi and he almost immediately, within two texts, asked me if I'm busy tomorrow. I replied saying that I haven't got plans yet and then I didn't hear anything from him at all. Tonight I got a text from him, saying that he's sorry about the cliff-hanger and that he's been under the weather with a cold for a few days. I tried to be kind but a little aloof, just saying, "Aw, take care of yourself," and he said thanks and that he wanted to take me out to dinner to a restaurant he'd been dying to go to, but that he probably wouldn't be good company because he's sick.

I wanted to give him an out, because I felt like he was trying to apologize for leaving me hanging while simultaneously making an excuse to not see me again. So I replied that I had plans later Friday night (true), and if he's sick, it's probably better that we postpone anyway. I ended it by saying that if he felt up to it, I'd definitely be up for that ride and left it at that.

I would love to see this guy again. We had good chemistry, the conversation was easy, and he seemed like he was really interested in me. At one point, he told me that he felt instantly attracted to me, although in hindsight, it was probably just a pickup line. I wish I could believe that he wants to see me, that he's not just making excuses, but I don't want to get my hopes up. I feel embarrassed for being so excited about him when he doesn't seem to feel the same. My ego is a little bruised. What do you think?

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously in Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

Image Source: Shutterstock
websecretary websecretary 5 years
Thanks for sharing your dilenma. I dont know what's wrong with guys these days, why can't they be straight and truthful and just be a genteman and give a girl the courtesy she has bestowed him. Sometimes men make excuses like being sick as a way of saying I am not ready to date exclusively right now or be in a relationship, which they consider to be after three dates. I would do what the above girls said though and see if he calls you or texts you back and if after he does and he still kinda brushes you off you will then know he is immature, not ready to date just you, and likes to play games instead of being a gentleman and telling you straight up how he feels. I hate that. You deserve better so it will be best if after the 2nd chance you just let him go and move on to the next one.
vevetta vevetta 5 years
I agree with missmaryb, you've done you're part - you made yourself available for a reschedule and you haven't exactly been shut down - if he's truly sick then he'll look for you once he feels better and ready. Give it some time and wait to see if he texts you again. Good Luck!
missmaryb missmaryb 5 years
I think you should give him the benefit of the doubt. At this point I don't see any reason to not believe he has truly been sick. Just lay back, see what he does. I wouldn't go chasing him down, but see if he gets in touch over the next few days to ask you out to that restaurant. I bet he will. And if he doesn't, just write it off as his loss. Good luck!
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