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This or That: Her Husband Confesses to Cheating or Having Feelings For You?

Your friend mentioned that she’s been having some issues with her husband lately, however you didn’t realize the extent of it until you head to their house for a dinner party. You watch his behavior turn from bad to worse with each drink. He’s continuing to pick fights with her and she’s obviously humiliated. When she heads into the kitchen, you pull him aside and ask him to stop his unreasonable behavior. Would it be worse if he responds by . . .

This: Confessing to seeing another woman on the side? He’s completely guilt ridden, which is why he's acting this way but he wants to make things right although your friend will be absolutely devastated to learn this news.

Or . . .

That: Revealing that he has deep feelings for you?. His lust and desire for you has made him realize that he can’t stay with your friend anymore.


ummyeaitsmarcie ummyeaitsmarcie 9 years
Uh, if he was leaving my friend because he had a crush on me that would be worse in my opinion. She would feel betrayed whether I had done something or not, so better just one relationship crashes.
My-Opinion My-Opinion 9 years
They're both bad. Guys or girls like that are just stupid and needy.
evenxstarx evenxstarx 9 years
This situation has actually happened to me before. My best friend's boyfriend of 2 years told me he was in love with me. I told him that NOTHING would ever happen between us, but I cared about him as a friend, and I cared about his relationship with my best friend. I also advised him to never mention his feelings again. His crush faded with time as I knew it would.
fab_domini fab_domini 9 years
yea i def prefer him to reveal he's cheated. it has nothing to do with me!! and she'll be devastated either or but it's alot easier to console a friend when you're not the cause of the problem.
Kristinh1012 Kristinh1012 9 years
Regardless of the fact that I would NEVER be interested in one of my friends husbands/BF, I would also NEVER want to be part of any pain and suffering she might be going through. No wrong doing on my part means nothing. I couldn't imagine finding out that my husband had feelings for someone else and then on top of that learning it's a close friend........that would SUCK.
kiwitwist kiwitwist 9 years
I think it would be worse if he said he wanted me. That would put me in a bad position and could ruin our friendship with the other girl.
vmruby vmruby 9 years
Which is worse.... Cheaters. I despise them and have absolutely zero tolerance for people who do.There's not an excuse in this universe good enough to justify cheating especially if that should ever happen to a close friend of mine.
Allyson-N-Jason Allyson-N-Jason 9 years
It's bad and I'd carry a burden either way but I think it would be worse if he revealed I was the object of his desire. If his partner is my best or good friend, how is she going to react once she finds out not only that he is cheating on some level, but that it involves me. Of course I would never indulge his desires or return any of his interest. I will NOT do that to a friend for anything even after they break up. But he'd still be cheating because he has fallen in love with me. He's emotionally detached nonetheless. I consider that a form of cheating...hence he has to hide his feelings from his partner. Anyway...when someone learns that they are being cheated on and their partner loves someone else, I can imagine them handling the situation irrationally and wildly because understandably they are in deep pain. So with the irrationality in context, I can see my friend taking out great anger on me just because I happen to be her partner's love interest and the reason her partner no longer wants to be with her. That's a pretty big mindf**k. What woman wants to hear this about her best friend and her man? Rationally, she should not blame me and see that I only haver her best interests at hand, but again emotions make people internalize a situation in so many unexpected ways. I would give my friend her space but openly and directly let her know I am there for her if she wants to talk. I would not follow up on any contact with her partner if he tried contacting me later especially if he was an associated friend. I can imagine that he'd try to get with me after they broke up thinking he had a chance. I think this situation will reveal how strong the friendship is between two women. If the friendship had any underlying catty, ego and jealousy issues, you'll certainly see them come to the surface in one way or another here...that's for sure.
Meike Meike 9 years
*This* is worst. *That* is easy to refused and to set him straight by clearly saying, "NO." I hate cheaters and I have too much self-respect to ever cheat on the husband I love or be the 'other woman'.
ninjastarlett ninjastarlett 9 years
ditto, Ims.
Marci Marci 9 years
Oh please; either is a nightmare. I'd tell him to get his s**t together and if he had even the slightest shred of caring towards my friend that he's not interested in being married anymore, then he needs to tell her that sooner than later.
missceego0711 missceego0711 9 years
That. I would just feel bad that he wanted to ruin his relationship with his wife because of a silly crush. With cheating I can console my friend, as with that she would probably hate me.
BeautyXRush BeautyXRush 9 years
THAT, I would never want my friends husband/boyfriend to cheat on them. If they did, id feel it was my duty to tell them though if the he doesn't do it himself.
ShePirate2010 ShePirate2010 9 years
THAT, most def.
duck-duck-goose duck-duck-goose 9 years
It would be worse. . . If he had already acted on a bad impulse and cheated. (I would have no interest in him and no inclination to become involved, so "that" would be irrelevant -- from my end.)
lms lms 9 years
I would rather that he had cheated than have feelings for me. That would make our friendship very strained and I would rather not be source of their problems.
JaimeLeah526 JaimeLeah526 9 years
I'd much rather have it be another woman even if he already cheated. I'd feel really bad if it were me and that would most definitely ruin our friendship as well as her relationship. I'm sure she'd feel that it was somehow your fault too.
Working Working 9 years
Knowing that i was part of the demise of my friend's relationship (knowingly or not) would be something i would feel so guilty of! Even if i didn't reciprocate anything i would feel just terrible!
mnp mnp 9 years
I can control myself so I picked "that". Once a cheater is always a cheater...and that's the end of that relationship.
moxierain moxierain 9 years
I don't know why anyone would want to make it work after cheating. I could never forgive a cheater. Its also not something that I would want to work through. No way.
Nitrobezene Nitrobezene 9 years
cheater cheater pumpkin eater
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