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Highlight From The Real Housewives of New Jersey June 7

Do You Call Out People When They Use Slurs?

Last night on The Real Housewives of New Jersey, otherwise out-of-touch characters had a relatively relatable moment. When outcast Danielle failed to rebuke her friend for using the slur "faggot," the rest of the housewives became very upset. The level of outrage was especially high, considering last season Danielle took issue with Teresa's husband's use of the term "gaylord," but now seemed to give derogatory language a pass.

I'm pretty sure the housewives care more about having an excuse to hate Danielle than gay slurs, but it does present a common dilemma: when you hear someone use language that offends you, do you speak up?

Photo courtesy of Bravo

snarkypants snarkypants 7 years
some people just don't know what they're saying is offensive (depending on the slur). i actually just called one of my friends out on a commonly used term that she didn't know wasn't appropriate. she felt really bad that she used it for so long without ever knowing what it meant!
Lyv Lyv 7 years
It's kind of useless! You could just give them a "Seriously?" look and act awkward, they'll know they said something stupid. And then you can just start avoiding them. Because it's not like they'll just change their mind because you called them on it.
socalbeachgal socalbeachgal 7 years
I totally call out people close to me on their racial slurs and have even been known to ask people I don't know well not to use "that" kind of language around me. The lectures aren't going to work but I don't have to listen to words I don't like,
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 7 years
It depends. If it's someone I'm close to (those in my inner circle), I would call them out on it. I've called them out on minor remarks that bear a SLIGHT resemblance to slurs, much less real slurs. :) For those OUTSIDE of my inner circle, I would probably remain silent, but behaviorally, I would shy away from them.
lifeloveandlattes lifeloveandlattes 7 years
spacekatgal - Way to come off as totally prejudice while trying to argue that everyone else is. To say that people who don't believe in gay marriage are homophobes is prejudice AND ignorant.
snarkypants snarkypants 7 years
i correct people. like honeybrown said, silence is part of the reason racism remains.
marcied23 marcied23 7 years
oh no, i correct my family members when they use any type of derogatory terms, even if they're "just kidding." i don't have to many friends who use derogatory terms around me, but if they did i wouldn't have a problem correcting them.
lilkimbo lilkimbo 7 years
I definitely do, particularly with close friends and family members. And, while you're not going to change anyone's deep-seated prejudices, you may change their mind about a certain word. (I know it's a silly tv show, but, take Finn on Glee, for example.) One thing that I notice people being called out on much more rarely than others is slurs against women. For some reason, some people still think they're OK to use.
skigurl skigurl 7 years
I do if it offends me (like faggot would get me riled up) but only if it's like my boyfriend or someone in my family or good friend...not like strangers
Rosay77 Rosay77 7 years
@ #4 You left out Asian-Americans and Latinos. Way to be non-racist.
HoneyBrown1976 HoneyBrown1976 7 years
Wonder why racism is still prevalent? Yeah, silence. Wonder why homophobia's still prevalent? Yeah, silence. Thanks for keeping these spinning wheels going people.
nikkisoda nikkisoda 7 years
I always call people out on it.
Beauty Beauty 7 years
Yeah, I call people out on it. I am also like others here -- "I don't like that language" or "It isn't cool to use those words" or "I don't like those slurs" is usually how I go about it. I don't think it's impossible to change someone's point of view, though. Sometimes I'll ask people who use "gay" as a derogatory term why they are saying something is gay. People can and do change.
totygoliguez totygoliguez 7 years
I agree with girl jen.I let them know that it makes me uncomfortable and to please don't use derogatory words in my presence. You can't change people's mind, but at least you can tell them not to say certain things in front of you.
inlove23 inlove23 7 years
The kids I babysit use words like "fag" "gay" "retard", etc. I always call them on it. I try not to use any of those words.
Girl-Jen Girl-Jen 7 years
I agree that it's impossible to change someone's point of view. But I call people out and tell them to stop using slurs anyway, because I don't want to hear them. I save the lecture, don't try to change their attitude, but I can't let a slur slip out without saying, "Hey, I don't want to hear that word. Tone it down, please."
cirrus1701 cirrus1701 7 years
So Elton John is a homophobe?
chillchic chillchic 7 years
I agee that 't's really hard to change someone's point of view. Even stopping them from saying things around you isn't all that easy. I have several friends/family members who are homophobic or who have issues with certain racial/ethnic groups. Of course I try at first but it is really beating a dead horse. Most people who are that ignorant by the time they are adults really won't change. Sad reality.
Ac2366 Ac2366 7 years
I don't say anything. It often leads to a useless conversation and no one ever changes their opinion in the end.
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