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His Parents Don't Approve of Pregnancy

"I'm Pregnant and His Parents Don't Approve"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

My boyfriend and I have been together for eight months. We'd been talking about moving in together eventually, and we're in love. He's 27, I'm 26. I went away for a month, and he was writing me letters about his hopes and dreams for the future with me, which included having kids and getting married one day. It was not in the immediate plans, but something we were both dreaming about. Everything changed in July when I unexpectedly found myself pregnant while on the pill. He was not happy about it, and we didn't talk for a few days. When I did talk to him again, he told me he was going to help me and be with me, and we were going to do this together. He decided to open a savings account — which he added to immediately — and asked me to move in with him.

We told my parents, who were concerned, but they were generally supportive of the idea. He was going to tell his parents, and eventually he did, three weeks after we told my parents. They reacted very differently from my family, saying it will never work between us, that we shouldn't even try, that I should have an abortion. They said it would be the responsible thing to do, that I had done it in the past, so it shouldn't be a big deal. After hearing his parents' strong views, he was flip-flopping again. I sat down with his family and told them that I was not getting another one. They said I would get over it. Bottom line: he said he was supporting me and we were going to do it, they appeared to accept it, and that was the end of it.


Or so I thought! A week and a half ago, I moved in with him — into the basement suite he rents from his dad to help with the mortgage — and everything was great. He was taking me on little dates, making me dinner, being very attentive. But when he came home from work three days ago, his dad stopped him outside and was telling him how terrible his life will be with me and a baby, that we are all wrong for each other, that we are going to fail as parents. He told him that we shouldn't be together and I should have an abortion and everything will be roses and rainbows forever. He was pinpointing all the negative things, and really freaked my boyfriend out. When my boyfriend finally came inside, he said he needed to really think about what he wanted, and I left.

We worked things out yesterday, but I really can't handle his dad being so nosy and involved. We had a plan in place, and we were happy together until his dad started freaking him out. How do I calm my boyfriend's fears and get his dad to butt out?

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously in Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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