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The How-To Lounge: Becoming More Than Friends

I know a lot of guys that complain that they always end up being friends with the girl that they like and nothing more. Unfortunately, this isn't just something that guys experience, women can find themselves in this situation, too. Often it's that you don't realize you want more from the relationship until the boundaries of your friendship have already been defined, but it is possible to move out of the friend zone. To learn some tips,


  • Do things you would do if you were dating. Instead of lounging at one of your houses, go to dinner and movie or for a hike and picnic lunch. Physically remove yourself from the friend zone.
  • Turn up the flirtations. It's the most subtle way to start directing his attention back to you as someone who could be a potential love interest. It's likely that he feels some kind of attraction, which is why he purposely doesn't follow through on since he thinks of you as friend. Changing the usual dynamic will open up new possibilities.
  • Try to keep the conversation off of other relationships or people who you guys might be dating. In fact, you can even make subtle comments like "I think we would have great chemistry." It seems silly, but sometimes it's all about planting the seeds!
  • Finally, once you can feel the vibe changing a bit, try to work up the courage to say something more directly. I think you'd be surprised at how positive the reaction will be.

Good luck!


Join The Conversation
Blackwood Blackwood 9 years
this.advice. sorry! it's midnight already! :P
Blackwood Blackwood 9 years
I.REALLY.needed this.advices. Thank you! ;)
LadyLiLa83 LadyLiLa83 9 years
It was so hard to get out of the "friend zone", but my husband and I did just that 8 years ago, and we've been married for 5. I couldn't agree more with this article!!
nancita nancita 9 years
Physically removing yourself from the friend zone is good advice. I have definitely taken friendships to the next level by hanging out one-on-one when we previously just hung out in groups.
cmd0610 cmd0610 9 years
Good advice! My fiance and I were just friends for a long time while we were with other people and during the post-breakup with our ex's sort of the "lingering" stage like you describe here. Actually talking about our relationships and ex's is part of what made us realize we should be together- we realized a lot of the things we were looking for in our ex's and things that we were frustrated by with them were all the things each of us had (or didn't have) . .then one day it clicked that we had all the qualities we were looking for in other people and voila we're getting married next year!
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