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The How-To Lounge: Being Confident When You Don't Feel It

The How-To Lounge: Being Confident When You Don't Feel It

We've all felt nervous or shy in situations that we'd give anything to be confident in — first dates, job interviews, meeting your significant other's parents, and the list goes on. Unfortunately, the nerves we're feeling inside can end up on display for everyone else to see in the way we hold ourselves, make eye contact, speak, and smile. Fortunately, there are certain ways you can give the illusion of confidence even when all you feel like doing is hiding in the corner. To learn things you can do to fake a little confidence,

  • It's been said before, but I'll say it again, maintain eye contact. Don't look at your toes or behind the person's head — you'll only seem scared or disinterested.
  • While not applicable in a more serious or somber setting, you can usually get a lot out of smiling often and laughing easily. A little lightheartedness will make you seem comfortable.
  • Speak up! I don't mean speak louder; I mean just talk. Answer questions in full sentences, not just with a word or two. Come up with your own questions too. You may think it's better to keep quiet than to say something silly, but most people assume wallflowers think they're better than everyone else, where as most people won't notice if you say the wrong thing.
  • Keep your chin up, literally, and stand up straight. Not only is it good for your posture, but also it immediately makes your entire stature look more striking, and having a presence will give you the appearance of having more confidence.

The best part of all these tips is that once you start following them you'll definitely start to feel more confident!


Join The Conversation
Asia84 Asia84 9 years
Believe it or not, i'm SHY ! i have no problem looking ppl in the eye, or using full sentences. but what about in a setting when you aren't really put on the spot. alot of people say that i come off as quiet. which is true when i first meet you. but any of my friends know that i really talk too d*mn much. i think when i'm around those i do not know, i tend to just observe and see who is who, and figure them out. in the meantime, people think i don't want to be bothered. but if i just start talking about random things, then i feel like a 'tardo. luckily in the fashion industry, you're just expected to walk the walk versus talk. you see it all the time with new girls, they run their mouths and ppl are like , "shut up and work. show me that you can actually create a collection by wednesday . . .".
melizzle melizzle 9 years
Good advice... I also like think preparing things to say or questions to ask helps.
robins robins 9 years
i agree with pink_elephant... people tend to think i'm rude or that i just think i'm better then everyone else it's just that i can be very shy sometimes... :)
honeysugar28 honeysugar28 9 years
I'm really shy too and I could seem more confident. I'll keep these tips in mind.
LaLaLaurie06 LaLaLaurie06 9 years
almost famous - i get that a lot too!
pink-elephant pink-elephant 9 years
I've had to fake confidence on many occasions, I'm shy a lot so it helps a lot when I don't feel like talking. No. 3 is true though...sometimes people really do think you're rude when actually you're just shy. I hate that!
Spirit22 Spirit22 9 years
man, i start to blush when i get shy, i become red all over !it gets ridiculous at times :( can't control it !anyone know how to fix me?!
CoMMember13630786602261 CoMMember13630786602261 9 years
I think I have mastered the art of faking confidence. I am TERRIBLY shy, Ive gotten better as Ive gotten older,but when I was younger I was painfully shy. I basically wouldnt talk to anyone that I didnt know. I can still get really shy from time to time, but for the most Ive either expelled it, or just become really good at faking it.
aimeeb aimeeb 9 years
Great tips!
k8-rckstr k8-rckstr 9 years
Excellent...I'll have to keep these in mind
almost-famous almost-famous 9 years
lol everytime I try to say full sentences, most people cut me off... I actually hate that...
swt-strwbrry-sgr swt-strwbrry-sgr 9 years
good points, I do have a bad habit of staring behind someone and focussing in on something else. But I am really listening to what he or she has to say, I just tend to focus on other focal points while listening.
jspeed jspeed 9 years
great tips, thanks!
Lovely_1 Lovely_1 9 years
I always try and prctice these! There are many times when i am scared shitless of something or metting someone, but I just act like I'm not and usually it goes alot smoother!
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