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The How-To Lounge: Choosing Your Wedding Party

There’s something really special about having your closest friends and family members stand by your side as you take your wedding vows, but oftentimes the task of picking who can be downright draining. To get some quick tips on making this particular wedding task less stressful,


  • Sit down with your fiancé and decide how many each of you would like to have in your party — consider the practicals like standing room and whether or not you intend to compensate their wedding outfits. Keep in mind that it’s very common to have a mismatched number of bridesmaids and groomsmen, but if you want things to be symmetrical, decide now.
  • It may sound cheesy, but you truly are supposed to be choosing the people you want nearest to you while you take this next step, so choose people you really care about. Don’t feel obligated to ask someone just because they asked you or because your parents are pressuring you.
  • When it comes to choosing the lucky few, think about your expectations for your bridal party, and if the people you have in mind are up to the challenge. For example, if one of your closest friends lives across the country, she won’t be able to do as much as one of your friends who lives in the same city. Also, if your best friend is completely unorganized and unfocused, it might be best to ask your sister to help with the maid of honor duties instead.
  • Since you're asking the people in your life who are nearest to your heart, it’s likely that they’ll be thrilled at the occasion, but don’t make that your assumption. You’re asking them to do this as a favor to you, not them, so don’t be upset if they say no. Keep in mind that people have busy lives — some might not have the time or money to participate. Give your friends the out, so when they say yes you’ll know that they are 100 percent committed.

Remember, if you’re worried about leaving someone out or hurting feelings, there are plenty of other ways they can be involved in your wedding — you can even note them in the program or on your engagement website.

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