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The How-To Lounge: Dealing with your Boyfriends Past Relationships

No one likes feeling jealous, it's a horrible quality to possess, but unfortunately, sometimes it's just part of human nature. But what about being jealous of people you don't even know? Like when you first start dating someone new and you find yourself being jealous of the mere thought that he once dated someone else besides you? Those feelings are a sure fire way to create distance between you and your partner so here are some tips to help combat your jealous thoughts when it comes to your boyfriends past relationships.

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  • Ask yourself why you are feeling this way: is your boyfriend making you feel insecure, does he have a history of cheating, does he constantly talk about his ex, etc.? If so, those might be red flags that this relationship isn't right for you, but if you are making false accusations, hopefully you can work together in order to get a grasp on your insecurities
  • Keep the lines of communication open -- honesty is always the best policy if you want to build a trusting relationship
  • It's inevitable that your boyfriend has a sexual past, just like you did, so try to keep it all relative. He chose to be with you so leave his past where it belongs -- in the past
  • Be aware that constantly bringing up his past will inevitably irritate him, causing nothing but harm to your relationship
  • Instead of factoring in his past, look at yours. Get to the bottom of your insecurities so you can move beyond his ex girlfriends
  • Trust is crucial in every relationship so if you are struggling to maintain a trustworthy connection, you might want to re-considering the relationship
  • Many couples stir the pot just to make up, so don't confusing playful jealousy for possessive jealousy. Also, if you are rocking the boat merely for reassurance, talking about your feelings is a much better route to take

The most important thing to remember is that your boyfriend has made a conscience decision to be with you, so keep your focus on the future and live in the moment. Good luck!


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