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The How-To Lounge: Starting Your Life as Husband and Wife

Starting a new life with your husband takes some getting used to, especially if you weren't living together before becoming husband and wife, so I am here with some tips to help the adjustment period run smoothly.

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  • If you weren't living together before you got married, it will take a few months to get settled, so don't be alarmed if the adjustment period is harder than expected -- you're not only getting used to living with him for the first time, but you're now also husband and wife
  • Be sure to discuss your new household responsibilities before you get too comfortable. Divvy up chores, create a budget, make sure you're on the same page when it comes to eating dinner together, cooking, nights out with friends, house guests, etc.
  • Decide if you want to change your name. If you choose to take on your husband's last name, be sure to change all your paperwork -- it will be a major headache if your credit cards don't match your driver's license, etc.
  • After you have decided who you are going to be, decide if you want to merge your bank accounts. If you do, I recommend keeping one account private, with your own money, just in case
  • Figure out whose health plan is more beneficial and change accordingly
  • Contact your financial adviser and find out if you have to change your withholdings and remember to file your taxes together
  • Just because you're married doesn't mean you won't argue, so be sure to fight fair
  • The first year of marriage isn't always a walk in the park, so communication is key

I hope these tips are helpful for you during this transition period. Congratulations on your wedding and good luck!


Join The Conversation
msmoney23 msmoney23 10 years
AWWW, all this stuff is really cute.
goofynewf goofynewf 10 years
At first you want things to be "perfect" and you try hard to do things a certain way. Then, you reach a comfort zone. I wanted my own bank account and my own things. It started to become a hassle. So, we share everything We are a team and work together on everything. Ok, that sounds silly, but it is true. Communication is key!
Pink_Lipstick Pink_Lipstick 10 years
I'm engaged and have lived with my fiance` for almost 2 years now...we're paying for the wedding ourselves, so it's taking us some time to save up money. I'm so glad we've lived together before getting married because it's going to make married life such an easy adjustment. We also already have the same bank account (but I did keep my own, for saving purposes). Also, I want to know who actually thinks you won't argue just because you're married!
sugar-n-spice sugar-n-spice 10 years
EW! No commitment for a while!
flyinggrip flyinggrip 10 years
When I went to change my name, I had to change my driver's license before I could change my Social Security card. They wanted "proof" that I planed on using the new name. This was in PA so it may be different in different states.
ManicMauritian ManicMauritian 10 years
Erm nah it's the opposite for me ... coupledom freaks me out!!!
melda melda 10 years
Oh I cant wait to get married we just have to wait for my bf's older brother lol i really like this pic
Msmarissa006 Msmarissa006 10 years
i cant wait to get married, hopefully i will be in a few years..
facin8me facin8me 10 years
In addition to keeping your own bank account, keep your credit cards that you had before you were married as well. You can add your husband as a cardholder if you'd like. If you use credit cards (because if you're like me you hate carrying cash), put half of your expenses on your card, and the other half on his card...that way you continue to build a credit history in your name and not just his name. Also, if you want to change your name, the first place to go is the social security office. Once you're changed your name with SSA, you can go about changing your driver's license, credit cards, bills, etc..
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