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The How-To Lounge: Turning Around a Blow-Out Fight

Sometimes a blow-out fight with your boyfriend can be a blessing in disguise. For some helpful tips on how to turn a fight into a learning experience, click here to

  • Fighting after you've been drinking is a sure fire way to have a blow out, so if you can, avoid pushing each other's buttons until the morning.
  • It's easy to talk in circles, especially when you're not seeing eye to eye on the issue at hand, so instead of debating until you're blue in the face, simply ask your boyfriend what it is you're missing or walk away to get some breathing room.
  • It's easy to get mad at someone, but getting to the deeper root of the problem is sometimes more difficult. If you have recurring arguments, get to the root of the issue once and for all. Knowing what the sore spot is will help you understand each other more and will help avoid future blow outs.
  • Admit when you're wrong. The power of a simple apology is extremely underrated so when you're in the wrong, own up to it; I guarantee he will appreciate it.
  • Although fighting is serious, breaking the tension if the timing is right is sometimes necessary. Don't mock or undermine the argument, but making a joke will prove that your relationship means more than simply winning an argument.
  • You really get to see someone's insecurities during a fight so talk about them with each other in order to get to know each other even better than you thought you did.
  • Try to avoid hitting below the belt and bringing up past fights. No matter how angry you are, it will behoove you to fight fairly.

I hope these tips help!


Join The Conversation
sparklestar sparklestar 9 years
Mine doesn't fight fair either. He'll bring up past fights or problems and always has to end with a "showstopper" and it'll be something REALLY horrible that'll really hit on an insecurity. He'll apologise a couple of hours later but it's really horrible at the time because I want to resolve it by talking and he wants to resolve it by pulling out a showstopper and shutting me up right in my tracks! Ah well. He does always apologise so that's OK!
MiyabiNa MiyabiNa 9 years
I don't fight often with my bf, and if I do it must be over something REALLY important cuz we're both usually very good at letting the little unimportant things go. So you KNOW when someone is mad and very serious about something if we're fighting about an issue.... I guess that's a good thing cuz fighting just sucks... But sometimes I'm just in a bad mood mostly from pms or something (or he is..male pms- they get it too! I SWEAR!)...and we're angry at eachother for random things or thoughts..then let it go. Apologize and make up..however you wanna call it. A prime example is on halloween my bf got angry cuz I didn't grab the camera when we were leaving- he got angry and got an attitude with me..but man, why couldn't he grab the camera? I was busy getting ready...he was sitting there...I mean, not my fault totally ya know? Something that isn't important either cuz other people had their cameras with them, ya know?!?! So he got all pissed and kinda mean and I just ignored him and tried to have a good time out with our friends (dressed up in halloween costumes!). Finally we get to the bar we wanted to, he ordered me a drink and apologized for being a jerk lol I told him yes he was a jerk and apology accepted! (in a joking way, which made him do his joking frowny face lol)....situation diffused and we enjoyed the rest of the night together. That's how our arguments are if it's nothing important.. now important arguments (which rarely happen)...that's bad. You don't wanna be there fo those >.> LOL
aimeeb aimeeb 9 years
Oh lord, I have a few friends who fight a lot after alcohol has been consumed-thank God I'm a lover and not a fighter.
nikodarling nikodarling 9 years
Very good advice. Except my arguments are always so one sided, he always puts all the blame on me, twists every single thing I say and has to win at all costs. What do you do if the other person won't fight fair?
i-am-elle i-am-elle 9 years
Haha that first one is sooo right. Alcohol never helps the situation!
jettagirl3 jettagirl3 9 years
My boyfriend of 9 months just got in out first big fight on Halloween. I wanted to fix it right away. But he didnt. He wanted to wait till after the weekend. Which is a really long time. We are meeting tonight to talk things out. I know I was in the wrong. I just hope he accepts my apology. Plus I made him his favorite bars. I dont know what I'd do if I lost him.
SummerBaby SummerBaby 9 years
ahhhh arguments!! lol.. everyone has them i think it just depends on how you handle them! i hate fighting with my boyfriend.. but i like to make up right away! and he likes to take time.. so that's one thing that i have had to learn.. but i think after a year and a half we pretty much have it down pat! i mean we still get into fights.. but not like we use to! which is awesome! we have learnt how to talk to one another and really figure things out, and try and change :) ...... ahhh just thinking about it.. makes me love my boyfriend even more.. cuz it just shows how we have grown together over the last year and a half! :)
candace117 candace117 9 years
Right Ash! And, I think more importantly , an I LOVE YOU :) Cause then that reminds each of you that is what is really important. not enough people say I love you during a fight...which is kind of understandable but we shouldn't forget!
Lovely_1 Lovely_1 9 years
And saying your sorry is a biggie too. Sometimes that's all we need form each other...a sorry.
Lovely_1 Lovely_1 9 years
My boyfriend and I RARELY fight. I dunno why, but neither of us pisses each other off enough to have a tiff. Plus, we kind overlook the small things so that fights don't start. Like if I say I'll be home in 10 minutes, and 20 minutes later I'm walking through the door my boyfriend won't say anything about me being late because, really, it's not worth it and we are just happy to see each other... And if we do end up in a fight, we try and make up of us will give the puppy eyes or a kiss and then it's all better :)
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