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How Can a Stable Relationship and Passionate Sex Coexist?

How Can a Stable Relationship and Passionate Sex Coexist?

People have sex for all sorts of reasons — or exactly 237, according to WebMD. The top 10 range from pure attraction to mere opportunity. Which motivation do you think would result in better sex? Exactly.

The idea that sex is best when surprising and bad when predictable illuminates why stable relationships and hot sex do not always make the best bedfellows. In the New York Times Sunday Magazine's "Married (Happily) With Issues," author Elizabeth Weil quotes psychoanalyst Stephen A. Mitchell, who thinks predictable sex has less to do with a problematic marriage and more to do with fear of one. Boring sex, Mitchell says, is just an "elaborate fantasy" created out of a need to see a partner as someone you know and not a stranger capable of veering off into the unknown. If the sex wasn't boring, it might mean that the relationship was unstable.

If love thrives on comfort, stability, and reciprocity, what incentive do couples have to try new things? Still, I think a couple complaining of boring sex could probably benefit more from amping up their sex life rather than putting down their marriage.
Source: Flickr User pfv.

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