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How Can You Tell If You Intimidate Men?

Group Therapy: Am I Intimidating?

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

Before I delve in, can I just be blunt here for a moment? I hope no one will find this off-putting and disgusting, and I figure this community would be understanding so I feel safe. I am a very attractive woman. I've been told so for years by families, friends, and strangers. It is only now in my 20s that I'm starting to realize this. I'm coming into my own and shedding some of my teenage angst and insecurities.

But as I accept this fact, I can't help but notice that it's a detriment. I seem to have feeble relationships with my girlfriends (with the exception of a few BFFs/soul mates), and my mother (who is also extremely attractive, smart and wise — sense a pattern?) likes to think it's jealousy. Looks aside (because why should that matter anyway?), I'm also a very good musician, have a very good job, and am really smart. And to put the topping on the cake, I am extremely shy, which means I come off as aloof and b*tchy. I'm not!


Sometimes these girlfriends of mine will say something (about a job, or my music) and I can't help but read into it. They say things like, "Man, I wish I had a talent," or "I want to have your job; how did you get it?" or "I wish I had your closet," and I'm just left sitting there trying to be as invisible as possible because I don't want these ladies to think that I think I'm better than them. I don't. So I just laugh it off.

Read how it affects her dating life here.

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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