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How to Deal With Girl Crushing on My Boyfriend

Group Therapy: How Do I Deal With Girl Crushing on My Boyfriend?

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

So I recently found out that some girl at his school has a crush on him. I saw her text him when he was checking his messages in front of me, and they were laced with cutesy smiley faces and what not. I was obviously upset that he never mentioned this to me, and his reason was that it was because it's not important and that there was nothing to worry about. I have never met his friends either, and when I ask why he never asks me to hang out with them, his reason is that all they do is drink and talk about school. This really pissed me off. And now all I am seeing are red flags. I feel like he never voluntarily shares information about school unless I ask him a bunch of questions. Are there certain expectations that we should communicate to our significant others if they know someone has a crush on them? What should I do?

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ChrissyLee ChrissyLee 5 years
There definitely is something weird going on here, he may not have cheated yet but he is enjoying the attention from her. He is either trying to pull one over on you, or he just doesn't care enough about you to let you into all aspects of his life. Either way you need to figure out a way to find out what's up. Try to get in with his group of friends, if he still keeps you apart then tell him you can't see someone who won't let you meet their friends. If he cares about you he will make it happen and then you can see what this girl is all about.
jenjen82 jenjen82 5 years
I'm going to give you advice that sounds psycho. You should spy on him when he's hanging out with this mystery girl. Go all covert. Or plant a friend nearby to spy on them. That's a good way to get to the bottom of this. Also it would be really kinda fun.
GTCB GTCB 5 years
As a guy, I will tell you what is happening - he is trying to get as much female attention as he can and is controlling you in order to do so. Why do you think he never volunteers information? Control. You can be sure he'll be careful about checking his text when you're around from now on. Again, control. It sounds like this relationship is not working out. Perhaps you should get out and move on?
photonerd photonerd 5 years
Actually i disagree with crox. There is a difference between guys checking you out and messaging you and not telling your boyfriend. I think you need to confront either him or the girl ask whats going on. and as for his friends ask why he doesn't bring you around. Be strong, i;ve been through this before. Don't be made a fool. either sit and wonder or take action.
missmaryb missmaryb 6 years
I see red flags too. It makes me wonder what he's up to with his friends if you're not allowed to meet them and if you have to pull teeth to get him to share anything with you. And it's disrespectful to willingly accept cutesy, flirty texts from another girl if you're attached. You guys need to have a little talk and find out exactly what's going on. Good luck.
lcrox07 lcrox07 6 years
I don't think you should worry about it. I'm sure there are a lot of dudes that check you out. Do you find it necessary to tell him about every single one if you are genuinely not interested? You shouldn't stress over it.
NYC10023 NYC10023 6 years
I had the exact same situation with my girlfriend and at the end of the day, she was seeing the guy at school and kept me away from all of her school friends because all of them knew not only about the relationship between the two of them, but that she was cheating on me. My advice -- tell him to call her while you are there in the room and ask her to stop sending flirty text messages -- that it is disrespectful to you. Then you need to make an issue out of not meeting his friends. Demand that he take you to meet them. If he won't do it, something is wrong. I should have done this and let it go on way too long. I finally put my foot down and demanded that she have no contact with him. No phone calls, no text messages, no email. And I told her if I ever found so much as an inkling that she was still communicating with him, that I would leave her. I meant it and she knew it. There was major fallout from the guy, but not relevant in this public forum. If you love him and want to stay with him, set your boundaries, put your foot down and do not cave in. If he loves you, he will do what you ask.
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