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How Do I Tell My Boyfriend to Get the Right Engagement Ring?

You Asked: How Do I Tell Him About the Ring I Want?

Dear Sugar,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years, and we've been talking about getting engaged. Based on our vague discussions, it'll probably be sometime in the next two years so that I can finish nursing school. My mother recently found the engagement and wedding rings that my grandparents (and great-grandparents) used. She showed them to me, and I'd actually love to use them as my own! Besides the ring having family history, it'll help us save money for the house we want to build. I'm not sure how to introduce this idea to him, and I really don't want to put pressure on him or make him think I'm trying to rush things. My mom said she would bring it up, but I don't want to scare him. Help!

— Not Quite Engaged Nina

To see DearSugar's answer

Dear Not Quite Engaged Nina,

Using a family heirloom and saving money are absolutely great excuses to want a particular engagement ring. Although I understand that you don't want to come across as overly eager or in a rush, there's nothing wrong with mentioning the ring the next time you and your boyfriend are discussing your future together. I think he might actually feel more pressure if it comes from your mom than from you.

Next time the topic comes up, tell him that you have a ring that's been in your family for generations, and when the time comes for him to pop the question, you'd like to use that over a store-bought ring. I don't see why you would need to go into more detail to get the idea across to him. If your tentative engagement is two years away, there will be plenty of opportune moments to have this conversation in a very casual way. If you don't make it a big deal, he won't either. In fact, he might be relieved to have the ring taken care of. Good luck!


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