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How Do You Feel About Your Boyfriend Having Female Friends?

Jealousy can be a huge issue in a relationship, especially if you have had troubles in the past with cheating boyfriends or if you have low self-esteem.

I feel that if a relationship is solid, open, and strong, that you should feel confident that neither person would cheat which is why I think it's fine to have friends of the opposite sex - that's if your partner doesn't mind!

What do you think? Are you OK with your guy having female friends? Does it depend who the girls are? Are you cool with them talking on the phone? Emailing? Getting a drink together? Or do you believe that guys and girls can't be friends?


Join The Conversation
AliciaKosier AliciaKosier 3 years
I am married to a great man and we both love eachother very much. But can guys really be that oblivious. He has a couple of friends that are girls that he has slept with before we got married. But there is this one in preticular that I know still likes him she told him when we were together in the begining that he was the one that got away and she still wanted him inside her. Yet he still takes to her. I am 8 months pregnant and very insecure because of how big I am and she has two kids who by the way are not his, but yet she feels the need to talk to him everyday about how her kids were during the day and how her day went. She asks him about his day and tells him goodnight at the end of the day. I dont like her and have a very bad feeling that she is trying to show him that he made a bad choice in choosing me and should leave me for her. She is also not in a relationship and talks to him about her needs for sex and how she remembers when they were together. I think she is so way out of line talking to him like that but he doesnt seem to see a problem in it. I dont believe that he is really that oblivious but i guess he could be. RIGHT?
lovely1123 lovely1123 5 years
PLUS.... the second girl I mentioned above, my boyfriend didn't actually have sex with her SO I (of course) question whether there is that ongoing 'what would it be like' kind of sexual tension going on between them. He denies it's anything of the sort... BUT COME ON... REALLY??
lovely1123 lovely1123 5 years
I am VERY against my bf being friends with girls WHOM he has been romantic with in the past, either sexually or just kissing (basically any attraction). This is actually a current problem I am having: One girl, he had sex with over 8 years ago and she has a mad crush on him still, so continued to call him and message him, up until I found out and suggested that he stop talking with her as I believe that he maybe intentionally or not leading her on. When i pointed this out he stopped and he tried to say that he doesn't think she did still have a crush on him but I know he knows she really did as he admitted it to a mutual friend. There is another girl (sister of his mate) at the moment also who he had a "liaison" with over 12 years ago who continues to call him and text him out of the blue with just "hello xxx" and "hey hun, how are you? xx" kind of texts... So nothing overly suspicious BUT she is engaged AND to a guy who looks EXACTLY like him!!! I asked my boyfriend if she has feelings for him and he says he doesn't know and 'she's engaged'... I pointed out that she was young when you too got together and it seems like you have left an impression on her... I asked him what she looked like and he described her to me in the detail that he initially (when we first meet) described his ideal girl... ARGH yes it's annoying. I asked him also if his feelings for her have been on idle over the years and that maybe he has kept an open mind for something in the future but he disagreed. I guess we will just never know what our boyfriends really think about girls they are friends with. It really depends on the guys character. I believe that my boyfriend loves the attention and he has cheated on his ex's in the past but he swears to me that he would never cheat as he knows the hurt it causes. Once a cheater, always a cheater? I don't know to be honest. He is an extremely jealous guy toward me though which makes me wonder... But, in conclusion, I don't believe that guys should be friends with girls they know have a "thing" for them, or someone they have shagged or had remote feelings for in the past. THAT'S JUST WRONG!
chattyjue77 chattyjue77 5 years
my relationship of 3 yrs has been ruined bye my partners female friend, we have a 1 yr old daughter aswell. she texts every day to meet him and wont leave him alone, he drinks with her every day and leaves me at home, he hasnt taken me out in 2 years, he deletes her messages off his fone and lies about her dropping him home from the pub wen ive seen her out the window.she knows what shes doing, shes a homewrecker.well ive decided that he cant have 2 women so they can have each other and leave me alone, im moving on with my life...hes kicked to the curb so she can hav him.
eastcoastgirl eastcoastgirl 7 years
As a woman who has male friends from childhood I feel it is alright.I have never thought of them as anything more than my friend through thick and thin from a very small age.
LOwithoutVE LOwithoutVE 8 years
I think that is a bad idea to have friends of the opposite sex. I had quite a few experiences while I was with my then bf and now fiance. I had many guys friends one of them i considered him one of my best friends, that's until he told me how he really felt about me, he said he liked me and wanted a chance to show me how much he cared about me even when he new i had a bf, after i told him i couldn't he started to get distant with me, well that is one story. Another guy friend who when i first met him approached me with the intentions to be friends. But later on he told me he liked me too and then kissed me, i felt bad so bad that i told my bf, since my bf had told me he didn't like him. And finally another friend after a short time he told me he liked me but even though i told him i would never leave my bf, he was persistent until i just didn't answer calls anymore. So there for i decided i rather not have any guy friends, for the sake of me and my fiance's relationship. Even now when a guy at school approaches me as soon as he knows i have a bf, they back away. I think is hard to find a friend of the opposite sex that won't get emotionally attached in a more than friends kind of way.
SummerFlirts SummerFlirts 9 years
I get jealous if I don't know the girl.
sherry88 sherry88 9 years
lol me honestly I know my hubby wont leave me so I dont care who he is friends with.
beram1220 beram1220 9 years
I think it would be ridiculous for me to tell my boyfriend who he can and can't be friends with. If you end up having a boyfriend that cheats on you with one of his female friends then its better you realize he's a loser now then find out in the long run.
veronicaraye veronicaraye 9 years
I'm a jealous girl..& I have been the guys friend. They just have to be genuine & be aware of the boundaries.
pink_magnetism pink_magnetism 9 years
Oh, and how the female friends treat me too. If they are supportive of the relationship, then it's good, but if they don't want me to be with the guy then that's a bit of a warning sign. I think it's ok as long as it's very clear who is the girlfriend and who is the friend.
pink_magnetism pink_magnetism 9 years
It's fine as long as I know about them, and get to hang out with them. If he's spending a whole bunch of time with a female friend that I don't get to meet and hang out with, then that's strange.
Muirnea Muirnea 9 years
Sofiababy you are SO SO SO SO right!!!!!!!!! Guys do think so differently! There "friends" mean a different thing than our friends, whether they realize it or not!!!
Muirnea Muirnea 9 years
Its fine as long as its clear that you are the girlfriend and they are only the friends...clear to you and the friends!!! If its not clear...there's a problem. And being friends with ex's is never ok, because that just means they still have feelings for each other, at least one of them, although I will admit that there are RARE occasions where both ex's really just want to be friends, but not usually. Grrr, I hate this problem, it gives jerks a chance to pull the "we are just friends crap" and cheat on girls or something like that, so then how can you tell when the nice guys are really just friends???? grrr...yes I'm very very bitter.
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