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How to End a Friendship

Sunday Confessional: I'm Disappearing on My Friend

This week's confession comes from our anonymous Confession Booth group in the TrèsSugar Community. Weigh in with your advice below.

I have a friend that I just cannot stand. She complains about her life and then gives me back handed compliments. Instead of telling her, I'm just not answering her phone calls.

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Join The Conversation
MissSushi MissSushi 6 years
People like this will just find someone else to whine and complain to. My sister is exactly like this. She calls everyone in the family and rants the same thing to them, one after another. If she calls me, and I cut her off like usual after a few seconds, I can call my mother and guarenteed she has already called to complain about the same thing. Just let it fizzle off and the less you are available for her to bitch and moan, the more she will turn to others.
RoaringSilence RoaringSilence 6 years
Don't feel bad for limiting communication with a toxic friend like her. Like others said, just let it fade out gradually. I'm not sure anyone would benefit from you telling her officially that you don't want to be friends any longer. She'd probably be upset, yet still not change her behavior, and you'd be in an awkward position and possibly even the target of her anger.
ayuninur ayuninur 6 years
i've the same situation.. You could deliberately distance yourself and let the relationship fizzle into oblivion. If you would like to renegotiate the relationship and improve the friendship, have an honest conversation to reveal how you feel. You’ll risk losing this person, but the reward could be improving the quality of the friendship. Honesty is the best policy. Say: "I’m really upset you didn’t do this and this. And I needed you there to do this and this."
Ac2366 Ac2366 6 years
Best thing to do is distance yourself. The easiest (and nicest) way to do so is to ignore her. You don't need a confrontation. I'm going through this right now with a co-worker. I can't completely ignore her, but I ignore her enough that she knows I don't want to hear her complain about her personal problems or gossip about our boss. I wish I could cut all ties with her, she sucks the life out of me. I envy you!
cotedazur cotedazur 6 years
I had the same situation with a friend about a year ago -- I thought she was going through a rough patch and tried to be supportive, but after a few months when the complaining and whining didn't stop, I finally had to cut ties because I couldn't take it anymore. If you really can't stand this person, I think it's not worth it to try to change their behavior - it's best just to let go.
merie33 merie33 6 years
I had to do the same thing this summer to a really good friend. She was too draining to deal with anymore. And like Lickety said...if I had said anything was wrong with her to her, she would have turned it around on me and made me the awful person. Just keep doing what you're doing. She'll get the hint eventually and stop calling.
lickety-split lickety-split 6 years
No sense in telling her. What, she's going to have a personality change? No. She would just turn it around and you'd be in the line of fire. It's almost the start of a new year. Good time for a break. Toxic people are draining. Don't waste your energy on people like that.
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