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How to Handle Boyfriend Contacting Ex?

"My Boyfriend Wrote a Love Letter to His Ex"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I have been dating my boyfriend for almost three years. We had an amazing relationship. We got along great. We always had fun together, and we loved each other a lot! We were in a serious committed relationship. We've talked about moving in together and getting married, and I thought we had everything under control. I was so happy that everything was working out so perfectly. Until a few days ago, when I found out he wrote his ex a love letter.

About a month ago, his father passed away tragically and unexpectedly. He had a shaky upbringing and never really had a great relationship with either of his parents but nonetheless, still loved them. In this love letter, he says that he loves her more than me and wants to be with her more than me. When I spoke to him about it, he told me he did not mean any of it and that he had been going through a tough time since his father passed away. When his dad died, he started to question life, his father's life, his own life, and our relationship. He started to think about what he really wanted, and if he really wanted to be with me. Then a few weeks later, he ran into his ex at a friend's house. She had just broken up with her boyfriend, and so my boyfriend talked to her about our relationship. He then claims he momentarily felt feelings for her and got carried away. He was reminiscent of a time where things were simpler and his relationships were easier. He says he's been confused and depressed and at the time, unhappy with himself and our relationship, and when he spoke to her, he remembered the good times and felt happy again and got carried away.


Ever since his dad died, I noticed he was acting distant and not himself, and therefore our relationship was a little distant. I figured he was just grieving and needed some time, but I never imagined this would be the outcome of it. Because he barely knows this girl anymore, I do believe the that he doesn't love her more, because frankly, that's impossible. There is no way he can love someone he barely knows more than his girlfriend of three years. But still, as much as I try to understand everything he is going through, I can't help but think about the letter. I am so upset and angry, and I have no idea how to handle this situation. I want to give him a second chance, but I am not sure how to even do that. I would love any advice or experience anyone can share with me.

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously on Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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