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How to Help a Sad Friend

"How Can I Help My Friend Through Her Breakup?"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

My best friend is currently going through a breakup. She and her ex weren't of the same religion, so they decided to part ways. Yesterday she was telling me that she feels like she can't talk about her feelings with me because I don't understand. I was hurt when she said that she can't confide in me, but maybe she's right — maybe I don't fully understand how she feels.

My friend says she's always reminded of her ex, whether she's happy, sad, angry, or feels any other emotion for that matter. She says that she's sad by default and that's how she's felt for months. Outwardly, she seems fine, but deep inside, she's just sad. What's the best advice that I could give her? Is it possible to never get over someone because you've had something really magical — something you've always wanted? Is the way she feels even normal?

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously on Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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honestyAboveAll honestyAboveAll 5 years
First of all, I would like to say that you are an amazing friend, since you obviously care about her so much-this is just so rare..most people would not even care, since they are too busy with their own issues...I think the best thing you can do is tell her that you do understand her indeed and that it hurts your feelings when she says that you can't understand her. Ask her what she thinks was so special about that guy?? Why does she think it was so magical? Ask her if there were other issues apart from religion that were bothering her in the relationship with her ex? Help her understand the reality of the situation and listen to her whenever she starts talking about him-just be there for her. She just needs to vent and open up. Time heals all wounds and she will be OK eventually but she definitely needs a good friend like you!
henna-red henna-red 5 years
Perhaps you can offer to attend service with her, to learn a little about her faith, so that she won't feel quite so alone in her loss. Join her in this thing that is so important to her. You could also do some reading on your own, to educate yourself....ask for a reference, an author, and do a little homework.
rachelssmiles rachelssmiles 5 years
I think that she probably needs time to heal. Just let her know that you will be there for her emotionally whenever she needs you, but don't put too much pressure or delve too much into it. because it will only put her back into that train of thought. Maybe take her out to do something you both enjoy doing to help her get her mind off of things. It may remind her of her ex but you are also helping her to make new memories with the two of you having a good time. Good luck to you both and I hope this advice helps a little.
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