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How to Introduce Sex Toys Into the Bedroom

Here's a tidbit of information that may comfort you. Only 30 percent of women are able to orgasm during intercourse alone. That means that most of us need a lot of attention paid to our lady parts. If you're too shy to use your own hand, or your man can't quite coordinate having sex while touching you at the same time, then using a sex toy, such as a vibrator, will work wonders! Introducing these kinds of intimate items into your love-making session may be embarrassing though, so here are some different ways you can do it:

  • Some guys might take it personally if you just whip out a sex toy — they could feel inadequate — so talk to your guy about it first. Explain that your desire to try a sex toy doesn't have anything to do with his ability to please you (even if that is the case) but rather that you think it'd be fun to add a little excitement to your sex life. Remind him that sex toys can benefit him too — a win-win if you ask me!
  • Pick out a toy together. If walking into a sex shop seems a little too overwhelming, check out an online store such as This way you can take the time to browse the items together without running the risk of bumping into someone you know — a potential awkward situation! He may also be more excited and less intimidated if he's involved in the process.

To see one more suggestion,


  • If talking about it didn't go over too well, don't extinguish the idea completely. Go ahead and pick out a sex toy yourself. Use it alone first so you can figure out if you like it. If you're a fan, ask him if you can show him how it works. Your self-confidence about using a sex toy should help him change his tune.


Join The Conversation
cheekyredhead cheekyredhead 8 years
jacrabbit84... RE: How do toys benefit him? Okay..I dated a guy like that once...and realized that if he thought it was his idea then it was the trick was getting him to think it was his idea. I don't play such games anymore thankfully. Some men view toys as "replacement parts" which we use when they aren't handy. I is we don't know they spank the monkey when we aren't handy? My husband loves the toys as much as I do. It is a "frame of mind" which I asked him to explain so I can explain here. here is what he says... "I use toys to torment my wife...make her squirm until she begs ME to step in and take over. It is a "secret power" I use that comes in many sizes and shapes. A toy simply cannot replace the real thing, which is the first thing a man needs to realize...unless they are simply inept and not really interested in their partner in the first place--which is the dude's problem not the toy. Once a guy realizes a toy is a weapon to drive his mate crazy...they will proudly wear one out and go looking with you for a new one. Also important to note...we do not use them every is a special occasion experience. Many guys are afraid that once you introduce a toy then it will always be part of the action from that day forward...remind them...this is "extra fun"...and you prefer ONLY him."
thelorax thelorax 8 years
how do toys benefit him as well as you? My hubs just pouted when I playfully suggested we try something. And it's been sitting in a drawer ever since. *sigh*
cheekyredhead cheekyredhead 8 years
Our toy box is bigger than our kid's toybox and it has a lock. Our room is at the opposite side of the house from the kids. Every year my husband and I have a "naughty gift" exchange...and it is always better than anything we could unwrap in front of the kids. A gift that keeps on giving....oh yeah! Toys are not just for kids.
cherry-peel cherry-peel 8 years
I was lucky, my best friend got us a couple sex toys for my wedding shower. My husband and I didn't use them for a while, and then decided to use the vibrator out of we use it a lot, since it just works faster and better. We're both okay with it. basically, buy this stuff for your friends!
LoveSarah LoveSarah 8 years
Luckily my boy has no problem with sex toys. Which is great because my vibrator is the easiest way for me to get off :D
KadBunny KadBunny 8 years
Haha yes :p you know how guy egos can be. "Why do you need a toy to climax? Aren't I good enough?"
snowbunny11 snowbunny11 8 years
"Some guys might take it personally if you just whip out a sex toy — they could feel inadequate — so talk to your guy about it first" Seriously!?!?
ThePerfectScore ThePerfectScore 8 years
I tried it last night... for some reason the vibrations of the toy didnt seem strong enough in comparison to him so i just dropped the toy.......
ilanac13 ilanac13 8 years
i like the idea of picking something out together. it's funny - guys think that the idea of them are hot, but they do get a bit nervous and giggly if you take them shopping with you.
heartbreakerx62x heartbreakerx62x 8 years
Me and my BF love toys! He calls my vibrator the BFF because it is always there for us and never lets us down! He is the best!
KadBunny KadBunny 8 years
Luckily me and the boy are both into it. ;) I suggest They've got the best apparel, how-to books and toys ranging from beginner to advanced.
DarlingDA DarlingDA 8 years
I highly recommend Good Vibes - everything is mailed in a discreet package, so there's no curious looks from the mailman, and the selection is fabulous. I've been ordering from them for four years, and have never had a problem. They're also very good at putting together awesome kits - I got one for anal sex that comes with a small dildo and lube and plenty of instructions. I'm still trying it out before the bf and I take that step, but it was really reassuring that it came with info and was pleasantly packaged and not initimidating at all. And their chocolate body fondue is to die for!
momma-tikita momma-tikita 8 years
I went to a sex toy party and bought a few things there! I guess it depends on the guy because I had no worries bringing some things home! He was exited to see what I got and how we were going to use them! Its important to be open on this! I had a friend who didn't even want to show her husband the catalog..that was kinda weird!
skigurl skigurl 8 years
good call on ordering online that could be fun in itself my bf, shortly after we started dating actually, bought one of those little vibrating rings because he knew it would help me out in that department we're much more open about stuff in a short time than i ever have been with other guys. love him!
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